3 weeks from today

.....is our wedding day.

Carly you suck

I laughed out loud at the performance of Carly Simon on Leno. It was hoorrrific! She was way off key and the song really truly sucked. Now, I can't carry a tune in a bucket... I know that. But then again...I am not on Leno squawking like a duck either. It was nuts. Most of her band starred at the ground in front of them and none of them looked like they were having a good time. I hope her family is honest with her about her performance....because I am sure the critics will be.

From my window

From my window just now I watched as a bride, the mother of the bride, 2 bridesmaids and a flower girl all loaded into their car to drive to her wedding. They live directly across the street. I got this weird knot in my stomach. She was a beautiful bride....how exciting.

Honeymoon

Todd's sisters suggested we register for stuff at the resort at which we are enjoying our honeymoon. So...we did. Weeeeee! So far we have gotten a "lobster cruise" and an "ATV tour". Yay! The lobster cruise is a lobster dinner on a ship at sunset. Bliss. How romantic. And the ATV tour is where we ride ATVs along the beach to a remote location for swimming, sunning and snorkeling. It includes a picnic lunch. Holy smokes....doesn't that sound F-U-N?

Wind

I am sorry. When did I move to a state that was this windy? I am sick and tired. Tired and SICK. Of the WIND! Hate it. When did Colorado become such a windy state? It sucks.

The wedding is....

28 days away. Ahhhh....bliss.

Leave it to me

I am going to share an email thread with you that was scary and shocking to me. I will remove the names to protect the innocent.

It started with an email from a friend to a list of her friends. It included a link to vote for her daughter's video to win a contest to be featured as one of Obama's tv commercials.

"Please vote! Elizabeth worked on this video, and no matter what your political choices are, this is just about the video and not a vote for Obama. Since Obama has the bucks to buy TV, at least let him use my daughter's video!"

Next, comment from an email recipient:

It's not just about the video. It's also about Obama's association with that poisonous racist "Reverend" Wright and that Ayers character who tried to kill some of my fellow soldiers at Ft. Dix but is now a tenured professor. Maybe you should have your daughter make a video about the lives that we save everyday in Iraq, about the security we provide for the hospitals and schools and market places and freely elected leaders of Iraq. Maybe she could make a documentary about the Al Qaeda torture houses that we still find, or about the way US prisoners are treated. They are tortured, murdered, mutilated, dismembered and then booby trapped. Where is the hue and cry from Amnesty International when that happens? I don't see the ACLU complaining about those Geneva Convention violations.When Obama pulls us out of Iraq it will be the most ignominious betrayal of the military ever, let alone the mind-numbing sacrifices that the Iraqis have made for their self-determination. I pray to God every day John McCain is elected.Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Then a myriad of email comments from the peanut gallery. Keep in mind. Reply all. To many many people.

Actually, this IS about the video Karen’s daughter helped to make, and not about anyone’s beliefs.

As a die hard Obama supporter I would appreciate you not emailing me further on this topic, especially since I have no idea who you are. Besides, Karen clearly stated she was looking to support her daughter, not start an angry political debate.

I kinda agree.

The crazy guy has a response:

Again, this email came to me entirely unsolicited. Again, it really doesn't surprise me to know that the story of our sacrifice falls on deaf ears. The plain truth is that Obama is going stab in the back every one of us who has put their lives on the line. By the way, you are welcome for our military service. Have fun supporting the racist, radical, anti-military Left.

Then...I had to comment.

Anyone who knows me knows that I wouldn't be able to let this go. Ahem. Here we go.

Let me first apologize for the reply all. But I feel that everyone needs to have the opportunity see my comments. If you choose to read on...do...or delete.

Dear (insert crazy man's name here),

Sir, I have never met you, however, your horrible anger scares me. You carry a gun? Wow. Your short temper should be addressed professionally.

IF you actually READ our dear sweet Karen's email she is beaming with pride for her daughter Elizabeth who has had aspirations of working in film since I have known her. You go Lizzie...I am proud of you. I don't like Coke products, but if Lizzie made a commercial for Coke....I wouldn't FLIP out. Pleeeassse turn your energy into something more productive. I hear they are taking applications for protesters at the DNC in August.

Warm Wishes,
Emily

To which crazy replied:

I'm sorry if the response offended you. Maybe you are right insofar as I over-reacted. But this email came to me unsolicited and is of a highly political nature. It isn't neutral. You can't expect people not to react. And yes, I agree that sending political messages to people's work emails is inappropriate. I do apologize. No disrespect to Lizzie, but this is heavy duty stuff we are dealing with. In all of the emails I have gotten back, not one has in any way deal substantively with the issues I have brought up. I'm not angry. I'm not crazy. But I do serve with people who have paid a heavy price for helping the people of Iraq determine their own future, something you seem to be oblivious to. When Obama talks about leaving Iraq in 60 days it means people that we know over there will get killed, period, Iraqi and American. Doctors, teachers, elected leaders, tribal leaders, police, and yes, American soldiers. In short, anyone who is trying to make progress in Iraq. It really is very personal. And the fact that you would compare me with the crazies that are invading my beautiful city this summer for the DNC (I grew up in Capitol Hill)...It's so far off base I just don't know what to say. I would only ask that you confront what I have said with intellectual honesty. I graduated with honors from Colorado College in 1991. My Senior Thesis was an anti-war study of the Gulf War in 1990-91. My senior advisor was Jeff Livesay, who was a founding member of SDS (hard left anti-war organization) at Harvard during Viet Nam.I will listen to any arguments you might have and give them careful consideration.

Respectfully,
Crazy guy

I won't bore you with the rest of the gross details. But I will tell you this. This guy has never served a minute in Iraq. Quit his job last year and went to boot camp leaving behind a wife and 2 small kids with little or no way to support themselves. Is back from boot camp. NO job. Not serving in the army for whatever reason (probably because he's coo coo for cocoa puffs). And for the record...the original email from my friend about her daughter's work...was sent to his wife's email...not to him. He checked her email without her approval. Freak-a-zoid.

Fog

I am coming out of the fog. The fog that was created by 17 hour work days. Sad. I wish I was joking. I need a new job...and am actively working to get there. For around 3 weeks I was starting my day at 8:15 am...then working straight until about 1:15 am. No shit. I am not proud of this. Just a fact. I am back...and have some things to post. Stay tuned.

Wedding Invites are OUT

Well....it was a labor of love....but our wedding invites hit the mail last week. I think they are gorgeous. We worked really hard on them....and just love 'em.

Polygamists

Ok. Unless you have been living under a rock, you have seen coverage of the women from the polygamist sect that was taken over in Texas. Good. Freaking. Lord. Every single one of the people I have seen on tv look (and probably are) in-bred. Scary. Have you ever seen a puppy from a bad puppy farm? They have this dumb deer-in-the-head-lights look all of the time. They are lovable...yes. But you can see the stupid in their eyes. Just straight up stooooopid. I see the SAME thing in the eyes of all of the people this polygamist sect as put forward as their "media reps"....the ones to speak to the media. Which by the way...has been only women until today. Wowsa. I am scared to see the ugly people they didn't want us to see.

....heard from somewhere in Texas...."get off me pa...you're squishing my cigarettes." Ewh.

Roadside Memorials

I get a twinge in my stomach every time I see one of those roadside memorials. Generally, it's a cross with flowers and pictures....on the side of the road....in memorial of someone who died in a car accident near that location. For whatever reason, there are a ton over by my house. On my way to work I see about 8 along this one 2 lane highway...it sucks. I am amazed how often there are fresh flowers at the memorials. Some of them are even decorated for holidays. Makes me incredibly sad....and it also makes me drive safer and slower. I lost a good friend when I was 25 years old. He died along a 2 lane highway in a tragic accident. I wonder if someone keeps up a roadside memorial for Mikie?

Bird

Todd and I went and met with our wedding photographer tonight. He's a cool guy and the meeting was awesome. We are driving home and WHAMO. A huge ass red-breasted robin was hit by the truck next to me then slammed into the left front bumper of my car...then slid up my windshield and on to my roof. The poor bird got stuck on my luggage rack. Dear Lord. It was flipping around on my roof as I drove...FLIP FLIP FLIP....stuck under the luggage rack....and giving off white feathers that flew off behind my car like smoke from the exhaust. I was freaking. Drivers in other cars were pointing at the freaking bird on top of my car. I KNOW. I KNOW it's up there you dummies. Todd is in the car behind me and I hit my brakes and he pulls along side and my car. I am distraught. He calls me and says we will pull over on one of the dirt roads by our house and get him off and bury him. We do. He was dead...thankfully....when we pulled over. He took the snow scraper and got him out from under the luggage rack. Honestly. What would I have done without him? You know what? I know EXACTLY what I would have done. Drove straight to my dad's house and had HIM take that bird off of my roof. Ewh. We buried the robin up and said a prayer.

Two months from today

.....Todd and I will be basking in the sun at our honeymoon resort. We are going to Dreams Tulum in Mexico. Seven days and seven nights of bliss. All inclusive. Alll good. We are in a deluxe suite with an ocean view. Can't-freaking-wait. Can't-freaking-wait. Heaven...here we come. :)

Emily's galore

So. Much to the chagrin of my future mother in law, we only registered at Crate & Barrel. So. We decided to register at another place....Bed, Bath & Beyond. We go in and set up this registry. When I went back in to check on the registry....there are 7 girls with the same first AND last name as me getting married around the same time as me. WTF? Seven other women with the same name as me are getting married around the same time???? Nutty huh? I had to laugh. I almost feel robbed in some way. I guess I had no idea so many people have the same name as me. It's MY name. Weird. And...these same name girls are getting married around the same time as me. Do these future brides mourn the name change like I am? I love my name. I am my name...had this name for 35 years. I soooo want to take Todd's name. Just a little weird. I wonder if the other girls with my same full name think the same thing. Humpf.

Little Joey

I love a good joke. My dad sent me this one. (Blushing)

A little Italian boy enters the confessional. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "Four months vacation and five good leads!"

emilyintheBURBS

I worked downtown for 8 years. I lived in/near downtown for 12 of those years. I have always considered myself a city girl. I have used the email address emilyintheCITY for so many years....I don't even remember how many.

I had to laugh yesterday. I had to give a speech to a group of travel agents in the same building downtown that I worked in for many years....the building I worked at the oldies station in. It had been a long time since I had been downtown. I parked at a meter and took the escalator up to the building. I remembered that when I worked there...I always laughed at the fact that people sleep in the chairs in the lobby of this building. I have never seen people sleep in chairs anywhere except at this building (ok...maybe at the airport...but c'mon). I giggled when I walked in and saw 3 people sleeping in the chairs of the lobby at 3 pm in the afternoon. I went upstairs...gave my speech...then headed back to my car. I have 100% become emilyintheBURBS....losing the CITY part of my name. I used to walk the streets of downtown every day and not even notice the people around me. Oh boy. I noticed the people yesterday. I saw drug deals. I saw people with crazy hair. I noticed the homeless. I noticed the mall rats. I noticed so much that I was so immune to because I saw it everyday in the past. I think it was good for me to actually LOOK at the world around me. I am so not a city girl anymore. I like where I live. I love where I am in my life.

How is Kim Kardassian famous?

Once in a while I will watch "Keeping Up with The Kardassians". It's mind candy. Trashy tv. It's a different version of "The Osbornes" show...which I love too. Anyway. They follow around this family...the dad is Bruce Jenner...and his wife is the widow of the lawyer from the OJ Simpson trial. Sadly he passed away...and she remarried Bruce Jenner. Anyway. She has 5 girls with her first husband. And Bruce and this lady have one boy together. OK. So...I was watching today and one of the daughters, Kim, was walking around her living room talking about how famous she is and how she is the #1 person googled that week...and how everyone loves her...blah blah blah. I look at Todd and ask, "how is Kim Kardassian famous?" Todd says, "porn". HUH? OK. So I do exactly what she was bragging about....I google her. Here's what I found. She's famous because she made some sex tape with some rapper. Shrug. She is awfully full of herself to self proclaim to be famous because she knows how to turn on a cam-corder. Funny. I bet the only reason she is #1 in the google search is because everyone else is wondering how this delusional bizzo is famous too. Ha.

Pop Fiction

I was watching tv this morning and caught a new show called Pop Fiction. Can you say TiVo season pass? Click click. Done. I LOVE this show. I think it's a cross between Punked & The Actor's Studio & Candid Camera. Basically stars who are typically followed by the paparazzi and plastered all over the tabloids... play a joke on the paparazzi and the gossip crazed public by staging and faking a story for the tabloids. This episode had Paris Hilton and Avril Lavine. Paris' spoof was that she drove all over town with this guy with a long gray beard wearing long robe & carrying a book. Within minutes all over the internet and tv gossip shows was that Paris was changing her religion. Funny. Avril Lavine's joke was that she was pregnant. Good one...since I can't go to the grocery store and wait at the checkout stand which is littered with magazines and NOT see a story about a rumor that some star is pregnant. Anyway. She put on a suit to give her a very small "belly bump" and she and her boyfriend went into 2 baby stores. Again. Within minutes it was all over the internet complete with tons of pictures. Avril is pregnant. Sweet. Each segment is ended with the star saying....the next time you hear about a story on tv or on the internet....please think for a second....is this TRUE? Or is it....POP FICTION? Good work. I love it.

Jaxon

Cherill had her baby on Monday evening. His name is Jaxon...and he is a cutie. Full head of dark hair and just the sweetest face. Congrats sugar! I will post pictures soon.

New Target undies

I bought some new undies at Target. I usually buy 'em at a lingerie store in a mall but since we live in BFE I shop at Target a ton now...it's only a few miles away. SO I was buying a few new bras and these undies matched the bras. Let me tell you this. I freaking LOVE LOVE LOVE these undies. They fit so well and are so pretty. And I got 6 of them for 8 bucks. Yup. For years I have been spending at least $5 for each pair. No more. I am going back later today to go buy more of them. I am hooked. There is nothing better than a great pair of underware. And if you are laughing and rolling your eyes right now...my friend. You don't have good underware. You just can't understand.