Nutty freaky weather

This morning on my way to work the weather was so freaky. The sky was green-gray. The sun was out. The wind was whipping around so hard. There were so many mini-tornadoes throwing dirt, leaves and tree limbs around. It was raining at my house (raining side-ways). Then when I got downtown (4 miles away) it was snowing and raining (both side-ways and straight-down). Saw several street lights out. I had to hold onto my steering wheel with both hands to keep in on the road. It was nuts.

Now, the sun is out. No wind. No rain. No snow. It's 50 degrees. The saying goes that if you don't like the weather around here, wait 15 minutes, it will change. Whoever coined that phrase should be proud...it's 100% true today.

Pantala Naga Pampa

Enough people have asked me what the name of my blog means that I feel it's time for an explanation. Pantala Naga Pampa is a four-line song by the Dave Matthews Band on the "Before These Crowded Streets" album.

Come and relax now.
Put your troubles down.
No need to bear the weight of your worries.
You let them all fall away.

I have heard two translations to this phrase. First, the phrase is Gambian for "Welcome to our (my) home." It is also translated into "I have a python in my pants" in Indian. The first translation is more appropriate for my blog. However, who doesn't want a python in their pants? Ha.

As far as why Dave named this classic song as he did, the story goes that there was an Indian chef who cooked for the band during the recording of "Crash", who would shout out "pantala naga pampa" for reasons that were not entirely clear to anyone. This apparently cracked Dave up, who would shout it out back to the chef. When the instrumental piece appeared on "Before These Crowded Streets" as the first track, the song needed a name for the CD's track listing. Dave, who may (or may not) have then known what the phrase meant, thought that it would be funny to title the track "Pantala Naga Pampa." And so he did. And so did I.

Doggie Talk

I was just laughing my ass off at this guy who knelt down to pet this gorgeous golden retriever. The guy was talking to the poochie in this ridiculous "doggie talk" of sorts. (Insert Here; the deep voice of someone that is talking like they have a bunch of peanut butter on their tongue and is only educated to the 1st grade level) "Oh you big-boy-you, you-wuv-da-rubs, you wuv it, you give-good-kisses-you-gud-big-boy, you wuuuuv-da-rubs, you good boy, you gud boy, you gud boy." I swear, just hearing him talk like that made me feel dirty.... dirty in a bad way.... like I need 10 showers to get that kind of dirt off. Gross. I am sooo laughing my ass off.

Back in the saddle again

I have been off of work for 4 days and I am so not ready to head back tomorrow. I have been sicker than a dog for days and today was the worst. Sweating. Cold. Cough. Cough. Sniffle. Cough. And have gone through nearly a full box of tissues. Ewh. Back to work tomorrow. Back in the saddle again.

Christmas was wonderful. Saturday night we all went to my Grandma A's house for dinner and a small gift exchange. For the most part I only see my aunt and uncle on Christmas eve every year. It was nice to see them. Christmas morning I went to my parent's house for breakfast and our gift exchange. My sis and bro weren't there. My brother was at work. And my sis was with Danny at his family's house. My parent's really spoiled us again this year. I love that. Christmas night was back at my parent's house to celebrate with my mom's side of the family. I am making an amendment to my previous post about Holiday No-No's.... my Grandma C. can wear a holiday sweater too. She looked adorable in her bright red holiday sweater. Susie came to our Christmas dinner... I was so happy.

My sister was sporting a new piece of jewelry. She got engaged 2 weeks ago...and just told us last night. She felt that she didn't want to call with that kind of news. My parents tell me that she is getting married June 24th in Hawaii. FUN. My parents are gonna pay for my bro and I to go to the wedding. Even better.

New Year's Eve is this Saturday. I am having a few friends over for fondue and board games. I think NYE is amateur's night...and I would rather put something hot and sharp in my eye than go out on that night... unless I can sleep where I am going. Getting a cab is a nightmare on NYE. Should be a fun night at casa Emily.

Better take some medicine and get some sleep.

Huey

I have heard through the grapevine that the guy who has an office next door to me is really good friends with Huey Lewis. I remember thinking... "good friends huh? wonder HOW good of friends?" I just heard him on the phone with him making plans to come to New York and see his concert the first weekend in January. From the sound of the conversation, they are definitely good friends. It was pretty cool. I know Huey is not a huge A-list star, but still famous. When ever I think of Huey Lewis, I always picture him in that movie with Gwyneth Paltrow about karaoke called Duets.

Little Shop of Horrors

Well gang, welcome to the shortest day of the year. Every day after today.... will start being longer and longer....until summer! YAY! Hip hip hoorah!

So as you know I finally filed a formal complaint on the guy who lives above me. Last night I was eating my dinner before heading back out to meet Paul, Selena and Jason to see the stage version of "Little Shop of Horrors" and I hear the douche bag above me come home. I believe he must have gotten the letter from the management company on my complaint because he starts jumping up and down pounding on the floor (my ceiling) yelling "you fucking bitch, you fucking bitch, you fucking bitch." Sweet. I finished my grilled cheese and tomato soup and hopped in the car to head downtown.

Paul, Selena and I are standing in front of the theatre waiting on Jason when I hear this female voice say, "Oh hey guys!" I turn around to see...(insert drum roll here)... the douche bag that lives above me is standing right next to me with this girl. HUH? YUP! There he is. Sweet. The douche is friends with this bizzo receptionist from Paul and Selena's work. I can't believe it. Just can't believe it. Soooo.... something that would happen to me. *Laughin'* So the douche hugs me and is being all nice. And his bitch of a friend looks at me, rolls her eyes, and says, "Oh, you're that girl huh? Oh nevermind." Sheesh. And of course, their seats were right in front of us.

"Little Shop of Horrors" was amazing. I usually hate musicals but this was entertaining and I laughed. I had no idea that it was a spoof on corporate America until I saw it as an adult. "Don't feed the plant." I love it when things have a great story line...with an intelligent undertone. Great show.

Quote of the day

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."

Holiday No-No's

As Christmas is fast approaching... several Holiday No No's come to mind. Friends... this is just my observation... I hope I don't offend.

1. Dogs in Costumes:
This year in particular I have gotten many holiday cards from folks (friends and clients) that include a picture of their dog with a Santa hat or reindeer antlers strapped to their heads. Although some may think it's cute.... I look into the eyes of this poor soul and see torture. Look at the faces of these doggies. Do they really look happy? Uh. No. They look embarrassed to me. And they should be. Ha. They look like an idiot. Hee hee.

2. Children and Santa Claus:
Why are parents obsessed with taking an annual picture of their poor child in ill-fitting holiday clothes sitting on Santa's lap? I know - I know...I don't have kids yet....and I may feel different when I do. However, right now....I think it's ridiculous to mail out pictures of your kids with red eyes from screaming bloody murder on some stranger's lap. My mom took me EVERY year to see Santa. Every year, I screamed. NONE of the pictures over the years have a happy Emily in them. I look horrified and really pissed off. Why then.. did every year I have to go back to see a man that scared the crap out of me? How about taking a cute picture of me sitting next to a snow man? Or a nice pile of Christmas presents? Or the Christmas tree? Someone remind me of this post when I have kids.

3. Christmas Sweaters:
Unless you are a 4 year old little girl or Bill Cosby (he has a get-out-of-jail-free card on this one) please don't wear Christmas sweaters. No one looks good in red and green - take my word for it. If you absolutely MUST wear something "in the spirit" of the holidays...then pick either red or green...not both. And for pete's sake, if you own a Christmas sweater that has lights or glitter on it. Burn it. Please. Just burn it. I guarantee you - it looks very bad on.

Just a few friendly reminders for the holidays. Ho no ho no ho! Fa la la la de la la la!

Spoon full of sugar

I have always believed in a "spoon full of sugar" treatment to tough situations. Yes, sometimes I spit the sugar in someone's face... but still....there WAS sugar involved. Ha. Generally, I try and handle situations by asking nicely first. Treat others as you wish to be treated. OK. The guy who lives above me is a nice guy. However, he blares his stereo. So loud that I can't concentrate on what I am watching on tv or whatever I am doing in my house. I have had guests over who just can't believe that I put up with that horrible rudeness. I had a couple who lives on his floor knock on my door to settle a bet between them.... that someone actually DOES live below that noise pollution. I have gone up and talked to him several times. I have called him a ton of times asking nicely that he turn it down. I have stopped him in the hallway and told him thank you - because I have noticed that he is trying to play his annoying techno music at a fairly reasonable level. Once, he stopped me once in the hallway and asked me if I had heard the new Depeche Mode cd. And I told him yes, (with a smile on my face) I hear it everyday through the ceiling. We both laughed. But I have had it. I asked him TWICE today to turn down his music. Did he? NO. I am done being nice. I am done trying to use the "spoon full of sugar" treatment. I called our management company and finally placed a formal complaint. No more sugar and I hope he chokes on the spoon. Ha.

................ah............... he just turned the stereo off..............I can actually hear my fingers hit the keyboard................bliss.

The week is over - whew!

I have had the busiest work week. From preparing for a huge all day presentation on Tuesday. To the office holiday party I had to plan...then recover from.... I am looking forward to this weekend.

Tonight, I plan to make candles, wrap Christmas presents and watch movies. Heaven.

Tomorrow night is Cherill and Scot's annual Christmas party. It's always a blast from the past. Seeing the old faces from high school is always a riot. I enjoy seeing a few of the guys from high school that I thought were the BEST thing since sliced bread....and think to myself... thank GOD I never married you. Mean? Yes. But 100% true. Thank God for unanswered prayers. The party will be so fun...and I will be brining my famous Queso Dip. Yum.

Sunday night is "Roomie Christmas." This tradition started like 10 years ago when Emily S. and I were first roomies. We would make dinner and exchange gifts....well...and usually drink our weight in wine. Then when I moved out of the house....and Erin D. moved in... we continued the tradition. Now, we all 3 live in different houses and we still do Roomie Christmas. Erin is making dinner. Em and I will bring some wine. We don't exchange gifts anymore... no need....the best gift you can get is spending time with your friends.

He asked you Wha? Wha? WHAT?

This past weekend my parents hosted an Open House for the entire family. Both sides. Which is a huge deal because when we do family things it's either with one side of the family or the other....never both. My aunt (my mom's sis) commented that she hadn't seen my cousin Chris (Dad's side) since he was a teenager. Chris has been married twice (and divorced twice) and has a 3 year old...so that will give you some perspective on how long it's been. My sister and her new boyfriend were gonna be in town from Laramie...so my mom decided to gather up the family. The food was amazing and it was so great to chat up my grandparents...they are feisty folks...and they crack me up. It was great to see my sister and her new boyfriend, Danny, seemed like a nice guy. He had a long sleeved sweater on...and I could see that both of his forearms are covered in tattoos.

So after everyone left..my mom, dad, brother and I were sitting around talking and half watching "Harry Potter". And my dad says, "So do you think Natalie is really into this new guy?" And I say, "No more than the other ones she always brings around."  And my dad says, "Well, I think he's really into her." And I say, "Yea, I bet he is." And then my dad says, "Well he asked your mom and I for our permission to MARRY Natalie." As the little conversation bubble is still hanging out of my dad's mouth...suddenly....I am sitting there with my mouth open....and a wave of heat flushes my face. "He asked you...wha? wha? WHAT? What did you say to him? They have only dated for like 5 months. She's barely 24 years old!!!" My dad shrugged and said, "I told him that if he was my daughter's choice, then he was my choice." Then... silence. We all sat there and thought about the upcoming engagement and wedding.

Chinese people don't eat in Chinese Restaurants

I went to lunch with Katie today at the Imperial Chinese restaurant and she cracked me up so hard when she said, "Ya know what? You never see Chinese people eating at a Chinese restaurant, why is that?" As we both scanned the room.... and looked back at each other... we cracked up. She was right... in this huge restaurant... not one Chinese or Asian looking person. Not one. She said that she noticed this a long time ago...and always looks at the people in the restaurant and her theory has never been proven wrong. Weird.

We pondered a couple points:
1. Is the food served in Chinese Restaurants in America.... totally different from the Chinese food served in China? Therefore, not appealing or insulting to the Chinese?
2. Or do they eat so much of that kind of food...that when they go out to eat... they don't want to eat the same stuff they eat for every meal at home?

One thing is for sure...I will always check out the folks in every Chinese restaurant... just to see if Katie's theory is always right.

She cracks me up.

Remembering John Lennon

Today is the 25th Anniversary of the death of John Lennon.

I vividly remember when I found out about his murder. I was 8 years old. I was staying the night at my friend Cami McDonald's house. We were downstairs in the basement and we were supposed to be sleeping. RIIIIGHT! We were up watching TV with this huge blanket covering the TV so her mom couldn't see the light from the screen. I don't remember what we were watching on TV....but the screen suddenly went black... we giggled.... then in white letters scrolling across the screen told us that John Lennon, former member of The Beatles was fatally shot in front of his New York City home. Reports confirm that Lennon is indeed dead. The police had already made an arrest. We sat there in silence. Shocked. And although we knew that we were taking a chance by telling Cami's mom that we were still up watching TV.... we knew that she would be more disappointed if we didn't come tell her about Lennon's death. She's a huge Beatles fan. So we crept upstairs. She was sleeping on the couch...the TV was still on. We gently tapped her... woke her... and told her. We sat up together the rest of the night flipping through the 4 TV stations that they had.... watching any piece of news on John Lennon's death we could find. I will never forget that. Weird that it's been 25 years.

Ah... the woods are full of 'em

So that hot hip party on Friday that I told you about...the one advertised to me as a Champagne and Wine tasting thing with tons of food and a live dee jay spinning music..... was NO WHERE close to that. The party was held in a new-build place with no furniture. So it was standing room only. The bottles of wine and champagne were just sitting on this "bar" nothing was chilled. The drinks were served in red plastic cups.... and you know how I feel about those. Ha. OK...on to the food. I was told there would be both hot and cold appetizers that would go with the wine or champagne from that region. Eh....no. I saw a couple half-eaten bags of pretzels, a cold tin of artichoke dip... without any bread or chips to eat it with...and a can of salsa...and no, it wasn't Pace....somebody, get a rope. Ha. Regardless of all of this false advertising I had a great time. I chatted with this gorgeous guy named Brandon all night, laughed, and really enjoyed being my flirty self. Good times. It was good for the soul.

I spent all day on Sunday putting up my Christmas stuff. I went and bought a REAL tree...and carefully decorated it while watching the Broncos game. I love pulling each preciously wrapped ornament out and reading the date and who I got it from. My Christmas spirit is alive and kicking. I sat in my livingroom with a cup of tea last night.... all the lights off... except for my Christmas tree....and relaxed. Heaven.

Now, you are probably wondering why I haven't posted on Framer John. I have no idea what happened...but he just stopped calling or asking me out. Poof. No fight. No apparent reason. I am sad. I was really enjoying getting to know him. He is a great guy. I am not angry with him....I don't hate him. I miss him. *Shrug* As my friend Ashley just told me when she asked me when I would see him next and I told her what was going (or not going) on, "Ah Em, the woods are full of 'em, keep looking."

Where are you Christmas spirit?

I love Christmas... I always have. I love love love Christmas lights. I particularly love white ones. Someday when I have a house with a yard again, I am going to hang white lights all over the place. In fact, when I lived in the basement at the Gaylord house, I used to leave them up year round hanging around each basement window. I stopped doing that when someone said to me "if you leave them up all year, they aren't special at Christmas time." Good point...I took them down. I have so much Christmas stuff. Tons. And when it's all set up it looks so cool. I have a full-trees-worth of ornaments. All different. All gifts or something I made as a kid. I used to put my Christmas stuff out so early... that some people found it annoying/funny....another Emily quirk that the people who know and love me appreciate....or tolerate. However, for some reason, this year, I am in a Christmas funk. No desire to pull the stuff out. Maybe I should invite some friends over for wine and Christmas music to help me. I think it's the thought of doing it alone. It's more fun with others. I dunno. Whatever, I decide, it's time to slap the Grinch in me....and start dreaming of a white Christmas.

I am officially old

I did something today that made me think, Emily - you are a crotchety old lady.

I made plans with a group of friends weeks ago to go to this Wine and Champagne Around the World party tonight. It's a fundraiser for some non-profit and it's being held in a mansion in Wash Park. Each room has a different drink and snack from a different part of the world. Sounds fun right? When we made plans weeks ago my friends said they would pick me up at 5 pm from my office and we would head over to the party. Well I just found out this morning that the hostess changed the start time to 8:30 pm. What? OK. It's a FRIDAY. After a long week of work, I am usually on the couch in my jammies by at least 9:30 pm. I get TIRED. I have just spent the last 3 hours sitting here trying to decide if I am gonna go. I decided to go to the party, I don't want to flake out on my friends. But damn... 8:30 pm? I guess the real question of the day is.... when did I get so old that I have to think about if I wanna go out past 10 pm on a weekend night? And the fact that the delicious thought of sitting on my couch is more appealing that a super hip party. I am officially old. Ha.

Pass the milk, he's coo coo for Cocoa Puffs

You've seen American Pie right? Remember "Oz" the sweet and sensitive hottie character played by Chris Klein who fell in love with Mena Suvari? Sure you do. OK. Chris Klein dated Katie Holmes for 5 years until earlier this year they broke up and minutes later she was impregnated and brainwashed by Tom Cruise. After I heard that she pretty much left Chris Klein and jumped in the arms of Tom Cruise, I thought, Katie...you are nuts to leave Chris Klein for Tom Cruise! Oz is hot! And Tom is twice your age and a nut-case. But after reading CK's interview in Elle....you will see that Katie LOVES the crazies. Ol' CK is just as crazy as Tom Cruise. Sheesh. This interview will make you shake your head. Pass the milk, he's coo coo for Cocoa Puffs (too).

ELLE: If you could play only one album to woo women, what would it be?

CHRIS KLEIN: I’ve been lucky enough that I don’t need music for that.

ELLE: Is there a dish that you prepare to impress women?

CK: I don’t need food to impress, man. It’s a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she’s cooking the food.

CK: I grew into myself fairly late. The first girl I was ever with, you know, kissing and getting blow jobs, I was a freshman in high school and she was a senior. And she was hot too, by the way.

ELLE: Is there anything you don’t want women to learn about you?

CK: Nothing. I don’t have many secrets. At the same time, I stay very closed off until a woman deserves to know me completely.

ELLE: Isn’t it tough for a woman to figure you out if you won’t talk?

CK: Hey, man, I’m not here to hold hands and babysit. She’s got to come to the table with something.

ELLE: Any weaknesses in relationships? Let’s pretend we’re dating. What do you say to get rid of me?

CK: You and I are definitely not dating. Role-playing is fun and all, but you’re a dude and I’m an alpha heterosexual.

ELLE: You’re an actor, for God’s sake! Pretend.

CK: How hot are you?

ELLE: I’m a solid 7.5.

CK: I only date 8 to 10s.

ELLE: What’s the worst thing a woman has ever said to you?

CK: “You’re an asshole.”

ELLE: Are you cool with it if a woman you like gains a few pounds?

CK: I’m not tolerant of that at all. When a woman isn’t feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she’ll ask you if you like her body. You have to say no.

ELLE: Don’t you think they’re just looking for you to say, “You look beautiful to me, honey”?

CK: If they do, it’s placating. I don’t placate.

Ok...there was more...but you get the idea.