College Reunion

This past weekend I went back to my college town for a reunion. Every year, the last weekend in April, my college has a huge HUGE event on campus....and tons of past graduates come into town. It's basically a drunk-fest every year....with activities sprinkled in. I showed up on Thursday afternoon...and it started raining about 45 minutes later. It didn't stop raining the entire time I was there. All of the fun BBQs, parties, sporting events and activities.... were either canceled or it was too crappy to go sit in the rain. Boo. I was really disappointed. I did get to hang out with my college roomie Maria, her husband Brian and Steph....but even that wasn't the same. We didn't get to TALK....really talk. Everytime we went out it was super crowded...and wet. So we spent most of our time shouting over the music and playing the part of the human-pin-balls bouncing around the crowded room. In the past my favorite part of these reunions has been sitting on a patio having cocktails and talking to my dear friends....and running into old friends. With the damn rain....no patio time....no talking....no running into old friends.

Here is one odd/funny story from the weekend. On Friday night we were at this leaky tent party. It's standing room only and I have already had 3 cheap beers spilled on me...but I was in a great mood and feeling no pain. These 2 girls walk up to me. The conversation went like this.

Girl #1: "Did you go to Drake?"

Me: "Yes, did you?"

(Girl #1 shoots a look at Girl #2)

Girl #1: "What year did you graduate?" (Notice that she didn't answer my question)

Me: "1994. Did YOU two go to Drake?"

(Girl #1 shoots a look at Girl #2)

Girl #1 says to Girl #2: "This has GOT to be her."

Girl #1 says to me: "What is your name?"

Me: "Emily. Yours?"

(Girl #1 shoots a look at Girl #2)

Girl #1 says to me: "JoAnna."

Me: "Do I know you? You seem to know me."

Girl #1 rolls her eyes at me and they both walk away. I shrug and go back to my group. Maria asked me what she wanted. I give them the play-by-play of the conversation above. Maria looks at me with big eyes and says, "You don't remember her, do you?"

Me: "Uh, no. Do you?"

Maria: "Yes, she was the girl who was in love with Josh (my college sweetheart) and tried to punch you one night at the bar."

Me: "Oh yea. That was her huh? I sure seem to have left a lasting impression on her....what a loser...that was 13 years ago." We laugh and change the subject.

The rest of the story is this... my boyfriend Josh had told me about that girl. That she used to do his laundry and seemed to show up everywhere he was. I told him that if he had some girl who would do his laundry for free...then he was a lucky guy. Not jealous at all. One night my friends and I met up with Josh and his friends at a bar. Josh was talking to that girl. I walk over and say hi. He turns and gives me a kiss and is turning back to the girl to do introductions. And that girl starts yelling at me something about how I was graduating soon and she has another year with Josh in college and that I should "loosen the leash." HUH? I remember laughing at her and giving her a you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look. She tries to PUNCH me....a swing...and a miss. I remember laughing at her again and giving her a you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look...again. She gets her balance and takes another swing at me.... a swing....and another miss. I put my arm up to pop HER one (and I know I wouldn't miss)...and the bouncer grabbed me and picked me up in the air....and then throws ME out of the bar. Josh and I left and went home. Seriously....that was the last time I remember ever seeing or talking to that girl until Friday. Josh started doing his own laundry...and that was that. Weird. Girls are crazy.

It's tough to find good help

I just had this girl call me at my desk and say, "Hi, I am calling to get a job."

And I said, "Well, OK, what kind of work are you looking for? And do you know that you called a radio station?"

She said, "Yes. I need a job. I have computer skills. But I am only 13 and no one will hire me because of that. But I had a job last year."

And I said, "Well, if you are only 13, maybe an office environment is not the best idea for you. Maybe a mall?"

She hung up on me. Sweet. I was actually gonna try and help her and talk to her about good options for her. Oh well.

Ahem....you live in America NOW!

Today in most big cities there was a march or parade in support of immigration from Mexico to the United States. I am extremely opinionated on this subject. I am sure you are shocked that I have an opinion and will share it. LOL! OK... here I go. I know which one of my friends will tell me that I am being shallow on this subject after reading this...but this is my opinion.

Parade: OK....I made the huge mistake of making an appointment out of the office today. As I walked downtown to my meeting...I ran smack into the parade. Thousands of people in white t-shirts waving the flag of Mexico (a few American flags too) shouting/chanting in SPANISH. Wha? If you are trying to make a point and give US a message....then WHY are you speaking in Spanish? We speak ENGLISH here. Well except for them.

Paperwork: I am ok with people coming to America legally. Fill out the paperwork get a greencard and welcome to the USA. Learn to speak English, put your kids in school, get a job, get health insurance and pay into our taxes/social security, file your yearly income taxes and I am happy to have you here.

Health Insurance: Now I realize that there are many Americans that are un/under insured, and we have systems in place to make sure that they receive healthcare. Shit happens to good people...and sometimes people need help. But the vast number of illegals here are putting a strain on this system. A system that they have never paid into...just took from. Health care is expensive, yes, but part of the reason why it's expensive for those of us who PAY for it...is that there are millions of people, mostly illegals, who are tapping into the system. What came first...the chicken or the egg?

Our Economy: The illegals who actually work here then take the money that they make HERE and instead of putting it back into our economy, they send it back to Mexico to help their economy. But then use our services and health care for free.

English: I am so sick and tired of hearing about legislation that we must translate everything into Spanish. Learn to speak English. Period.

Ludicrous: My friend's daughter got into a serious car accident with an illegal. It wasn't her fault....it was his fault. She was ok...But her car was totaled. HE was hurt pretty badly and his car was toast. Because he was illegal and didn't have car insurance, HER insurance had to pay for the entire accident...including his health care....because...you guessed it...he didn't have health insurance either. If he was an American citizen...he would have gone to jail &/or to court for no car insurance and would have had to pay back any damages. Nope. He got off scott-free. He never had to go to court or pay a cent back. PLUS, he got money back from HER car insurance for his car. WHA? So the law abiding American citizen took it in the pants. Sweet.

Education: My friend who is a teacher told me that a ridiculous amount of money, time and resources go into educating the ESL kids, English as a Second Language. Teachers have to essentially run 2 different classrooms teaching to the English speaking and the Spanish speaking kids. Therefore, she feels that her English speaking kids aren't getting the education they need or deserve because she has to spend 3/4 of her time dealing with the Spanish speaking kids. She said that 99.9% of her ESL kids are on free lunch. More and more money pumped into a group of people who aren't working to give back.

I am just floored by the entitlement issues displayed by these illegals. Floored. This parade today just made me shake my head.

I am not going to just rant without giving my ideas for a solution. I know that it is expensive to get citizenship here. My dear friend from England spent thousands of dollars on visas to live and work here (even though she was married to an American citizen). I think this is part of the problem. I believe if it was free and easy to apply and receive citizenship this would be a step in the right direction. I believe that we need to police our boarders. I believe that we need to deport people living here without a green card. I believe that we need to monitor businesses to make sure that all employees are legal American citizens. I believe that we should never translate another ballot or advertisement to Spanish.... they need to learn our language to live here. Make them file for taxes...with the same penalties and laws as American citizens face. I think we need to make the changes to the greencard system and give all illegal 60 days from TODAY to get their greencard. Set up greencard/immigration/paperwork stations at the malls or online and make it easy. After July 1st, 2006, if someone is found without their greencard or drivers license, put them in jail. If they can't produce a greencard or legal US I.D. in 48 hours.... ship them back to Mexico or where ever they came from. Same goes for ME...if I can't show proper ID...I go to jail too. It's time to be responsible. I realize my ideas are only ONE step...that there are many more problems here that need attention. It's just time for action.

Something needs to be done. If we just ignore this enormous problem...then soon America will be worse than the country they fled.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day

About 7 years ago I "dated" my friend Gina's brother Mike for about 2 years. When we started dating he was recently divorced and had his 2 year old daughter 50% of the time. His daughter and I were thick as thieves. When we broke up...I missed her more than my relationship. I still see her once in a while because I am still friends with Mike's sister.

Cut to last Friday. My cell phone rings. It's Mike. He was calling to invite me to play volleyball with the family for Gina's birthday AND to ask me if his daughter could come to work with me this Friday for Take Your Daughter to Work Day. When no sound was coming from my end of the phone, he started into this long explanation of how she loves radio and wants to be in radio like me. Two emotions filled my body. One. Anger! WTF? Why does he want ME to bring his daughter to work like she's my kid? Two. Ouch! I feel a pang of longing in my heart. I guess I didn't realize how much I missed that little girl. Humpf.

I am out of town Thursday-Sunday....otherwise I would have done it (I think). I told Mike that we could schedule a time to have her come in and I could give her a tour and talk to her about college and how to get into radio. I would do this for her....not Mike.

Hola Miss America

I went out with Danny (from the 4 hour and 15 minute phone conversation post) on Friday. It was a great time. I had set my Ghetto TiVo (a.k.a my VCR) to record Deal or No Deal before I left. When I got home, I watched DOND and then right after that was The Miss America contest. I really like the Evening Gown and the Final Question part of the competition so I was fast forwarding thru the other crap. I could really really do without the little vinyettes of the contestants 3 inches from the camera all doe-eyed saying, "Hello, I am Suzy-Q from Georgia, and I love to workout, play with my dog and practice putting on make-up." Anyway. I got to the musical entertainment part of the show.... ahem....it was a SPANISH speaking group. SPANISH! ALL IN SPANISH at the Miss America competition. Is this odd to anyone else? I laughed my ass off then said outloud, "Luuuuucy, yous gots some 'splainin' to do!" (Ricky Ricardo) Haha!

Nicole

When Em and I were roommates, we had the dumbest roommate ever. EVER. Our roomie Jenn was moving in with her boyfriend and we needed a 3rd person to live with us. Since we lived close to the DU campus...we thought we would advertise for a DU grad student to be our roomie. We got an applicant that we both liked. She had just returned from the Peace Corp and was a Poli Sci Grad Student. OK. Here we go. We asked her over for some drinks to "interview" her. Nicole showed up at our house. Pretty. Outgoing. Rich a la mom and dad. SOLD. Nicole moved in and instantly Em and I realized....shit. She's NOT smart. Pretty. NOT smart. This girl was sooo rich that every little thing in her life up until now was done by "staff"...she had NO street or common smarts at all.

Here are a couple examples.

Em and I were sitting on the couch and we hear Nicole crashing around in the bathroom. She walks out with a lightbulb in her hand. She looked at us and said that she wasn't sure how to put a new lightbulb in. OK OK...the joke...how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb comes to mind. I can tell you the punchline....ONE blonde....ME!

Nicole had lived with us for weeks when this happened. Nicole was in the shower and she came out and said, "Guys, I think there is a leak in the shower." Concerned, Emily and I go into the bathroom and ask her why she thinks there is a leak. She explains that the floor in the bathroom always gets so wet when she takes a shower. Em looks and notices that she has the shower curtain on the OUTSIDE of the tub. She pushes the shower curtain in....in total frustration...and tells her that the curtain goes INSIDE the tub. I laughed outloud...in a YOU DUMB ASS... kind of tone....and walked out of the bathroom. In the coming days...the water damage from our GED hopeful's shower habits caused the ceiling to fall into the basement. Sweet.

This is my favorite Nicole story. Em and I were sitting in the living room. Nicole walks out and says, "Did you know that the price of stamps went up one cent?" We both reply "Yes" in unison without taking our eyes off of the TV. Nicole then replies...in total frustration "I just spend $40 on stamps and they were totally wasted. I threw them in the trash." Em and I nod at her and give her understanding looks. Then once Nicole walks out of the room. I say to Em, "are you thinking what I am thinking?" Without another word, we both jumped up and fished her $40 of "wasted" stamps out of the trash and split them between us.... laughing maniacally the whole time.

Emily is the sweetest girl I have ever met...and never wanted to kick Nicole out. I did. Emily left for an 8-week Archeological dig in Peru. I kicked Nicole out within 48 hours of her departure. B-bye. See ya nut case! After Nicole moved out she came back into the house and took the lids off of all of the condiments in the fridge and all of my hair products. Since I knew that she was a nut case...I just threw all of that stuff out out of fear that she had messed with my stuff. Yes, I was out some serious cash...but couldn't take a chance that my hair would fall out. I changed the locks and slept really well that night.

7 years ago today....

.... I was sitting at my desk just slammed with work. I was having the kind of day that people write horror movies about. Bad. And I was crank-y! I had my office door shut, my phone on "Do Not Disturb", blaring a CD, ignoring my cell phone. I was too busy and needed to focus. When my office was door closed (at my old station) it didn't look like I was there. I noticed that my office phone kept ringing and ringing...and the number of voicemails were racking up faster than usual.

Finally I picked up one of the calls. I growled through my teeth, "This is Emily."

Without saying hello, I hear, "Tell me that your sister doesn't go to Columbine." It was my friend Matt who worked at the local News Talk radio station.

"No she goes to Alameda, why?"

"Oh God, you haven't heard Em. Right now there is a horrible shoot out at Columbine going on. Something like 6 or 7 are confirmed dead and the gunmen are still in there shooting," Matt said.

I froze. Chills. "Oh God Matt, I have 3 of my girls (girls that I was coaching) and my high school softball coach in there (he was the Athletic Director). I gotta go. Call you later. Call me with updates." I hung up.

I walk out of my office into the hall to find people crying and huddled around the TV. I am in shock. I go back to my office and call all 3 of my girls at home and leave messages to call me. The first girl to call me back is Crystal. She is bawling and shaking as she tells me what she saw. She was one of the kids that was helped out of the building by the teacher who was killed. She saw him get shot. We talked for about 30 minutes. I was bawling too. I walk back out into the hallway and tell some friends that I tracked down one of my girls. One of our Program Directors overheard me and said that CBS (our parent company) was calling to see if they could get a phone interview with one of the kids inside Columbine when it happened. I agreed to call Crystal's parents and see if they would allow her to do this. Crystal wanted to talk. She wanted the world to know what was going on. She was on a CBS tv feed all over the nation. It was hard to hear her voice on the tv. I spent the next 10 hours securing grief counselors to come into the studios the next day and take phone calls from the public. It was hard to move. It was hard to still work. My ears were ringing non-stop and I felt numb. I wanted to go home so bad. I get word that one of my high school buddy's little sister was killed. She was the one who told the killers that God would forgive them...seconds before they shot her. It was horrible....horrible.

All of my girls and my high school coach got out alive...but not ok...mentally not ok.

I finally got home around midnight from work. My boyfriend at the time, Alex, was waiting there for me. He is from Kansas City and didn't have a real concept on how close to home this was for me. He asked me where Columbine was located. I said, "Remember when we went to my Grandparents for Thanksgiving? Columbine is 3 blocks away from their house." He was floored. He didn't realize it was so close.

The next day I got up super early to get into the station to coordinate the grief counselors. I was sitting at a light in my car. One of the radio stations had taken that song "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan and added clips of the news coverage from the Columbine tragedy inbetween the words to the song. I started bawling. The kind of cry where your chin quivers and you can't help but wail outloud. I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. I looked at the guy in the car next to me. He was crying just as hard as I was. We tried to give each other a look of unspoken encouragement. I will never forget the look on his face.

I can't believe it's been 7 years.

I'm in a mood

I have been working my ass of this week and all last week. Non-stop. From the second I arrive...until the second I jump in my car to head to softball practice. Coaching that little 7 year old girls softball team started for me 2 weeks ago and getting used to the schedule has been tough. Anyway....work work work. Galore! I was busting my ass all day because I had plans to meet my friend Ali for dinner and drinks. I even skipped my yoga class. Well she canceled...for a good reason...but she canceled. So now I am sitting at my desk CRANKING out work and blaring my stereo. I am the only one here....it's almost 6 pm. I am listening to Dave Matthews Live at Red Rocks CD set. I was at that show (well at least one night)...so once in a while I wonder if that scream was me. I am a total dork I know. Ha. I am just in the mood for some LOUD music....LOUD Dave! I have listened to one of my favorite songs "Say Goodbye" about 4 times. Sometimes I get in the mood to hear the same song over and over again. This song is about 2 friends who have other lives and lovers...but for one night they will be lovers...and tomorrow...they say goodbye....and go back to being friends. Anyway.... over and over again. Just in a mood.

Dave Matthews is coming back in town in Sept. I got 4 tickets through my friend at the concert company again. I got sweeeeet seats again. I am in section 127. OK. Basically my seats are one level up from the floor...just to the right of the stage....7 rows up. I will be able to see the sweat on Dave's face. YAY! My friend hooks me up because I don't ask for favors often, I always send him a thank you card with a gift and I send him random stuff we get at the station for no reason. It's all about taking care of the hand that feeds you Dave tickets. Ha.

A Peep's Purpose

Four of my staff members just came back to the office from an event...they were laughing and being louder than usual. They asked me if I wanted to see a science experiment....and then laughed even harder. OK I'm game. They said that if you put one of those disgusting marshmallow Peeps from Easter in the microwave for about 25 seconds...it will expand and get all big...but keep it's shape. We all laughed and paraded into the kitchen. The mother-instinct in me said, "If it explodes, you have to clean it up." Sure enough...it expanded and looked like a huge Peep for about 6 seconds and then turned into a huge blob. Still...we cracked up. Ahhh... free is my favorite kind of entertainment.

At least now I have a purpose for those yucky Peeps if I ever get them for Easter again. Because I sure as hell won't eat one...not even on a bet. Blech.

This Blog's for you!

Here is a secret shout-out to my dear friend whom I love very much. I know that this weekend is tough for you every year. Just know, that you are in my thoughts and prayers...always...but especially this weekend. *HUGS*

Easter

This year for Easter, we were at my aunt's house...my mom's sis. Judy is such a great cook and her home is always so warm and inviting. The only thing that bugs me...and it shouldn't bug me but it does...is that there are always strangers at every holiday at her house. Strangers. That is a not-so-nice way to put it...but I don't know these people....no one but my aunt or my uncle know these people (and most of the time my uncle doesn't know 'em either.) Now, don't get me wrong.....I bring my friends to holidays. So does my sis....but everyone KNOWS our friends. Judy just invites any random person...not necessarily a friend, who she hears doesn't have plans for the holidays. I swear...if she was in King Soopers and overheard someone saying they didn't have plans for a holiday....that person would be sitting next to me at the table. This holiday was no different. There were 2 random teenagers who insisted on making out in front of everyone and this guy named Bruce there. I come to find out later that one of the 2 teenagers is a wayyy distant cousin of mine. Oh. Hum. And the guy Bruce goes to their church. He looks to be about 50-ish and he rides a motorcycle....BUT he dresses like a 50 year old guy. I hope that makes sense...but he just screams "mid-life crisis" and told me 3 times that he rode his motorcycle here.

"I rode my motorcycle here because it's so nice out."

"I better put my leather jacket on before I leave, even though it's so warm out...for safety on my motorcycle."

"I hope my motorcycle didn't block the driveway for you."

At one point I rolled my eyes....and my dad totally caught me and laughed. I got a sick feeling that Bruce had the hots for me. Anyway.

Even with the random people at Easter....it was lovely to see my family. I sat with my Grandpa for hours and listened to him tell story after story. I have heard most of the stories before...but I love hearing him tell them. He tells them the same way time after time. Like he's reading his life story from a book inside of his head. Cherished moments for sure.

Natalie and Danny didn't show and didn't call. I could tell that it hurt my Mom's feelings. I think that she thinks that people judge her when her kids are inconsiderate. Maybe they do. I don't. Natalie is an adult and needs to be more respectful. RSVP. RSVP. It means Respondez S'il Vous Plait. Simply translated RESPOND. Respond YES. Respond NO. Respond MAYBE. Just FREAKING Respond.

4 hours and 15 minutes

Briana has been telling me forEVER that she wanted to set me up with her friend Danny. I really really don't like my friends to set me up. So, I never really pushed her to give him my number because so far everytime a friend has set me up.... I came home from the date and called that friend and said, "Hi, have you MET me before? What did you think I would see in that guy?"

Here's one example. My friend set me up with this guy named Grant. She said he has a great smile, is super cool and was a Firefighter. Sounds great huh? I was still living with Emily at the Gaylord house when this happened. I heard the doorbell. I heard Maggie bark. I heard Emily talk to him (sounded like the adults on Charlie Brown cartoons). She came downstairs and her eyes looked like a deer in the headlights. All she could say was, "I'm sorry" and she kinda giggled and put her hand on my shoulder. Crap...right? We had a good laugh. OK. I go upstairs and this guy is maybe 5'3", really really really skinny and white...and dressed from head to toe in cowboy gear. Yup, a white 10-gallon hat, Wranglers (so tight I don't think he could put his hands in his pockets) and shit-kickers. Gulp. Sooooo not my type. Anyway, we went to dinner and he brought me home. I wanted to kick my friends ass. Haahah!

So NOW, when people tell me they want to set me up with some friend of theirs...my new question is...."If you were single, would YOU date him?" Amazingly, the answers are almost always....no. Folks, just because someone is single, around my age and of the opposite sex....doesn't mean we will hit it off.

Cut back to Briana wanting to set me up with Danny. I asked her why she doesn't date him (since she is single too). She said that she dated his friend and he's not really her type...but really believes that I would like him. Good enough for me. I tell her late last week to give him my home phone number. He called on Monday. We talked for.... (insert drum roll here).... 4 hours and 15 minutes. I haven't done that since high school. Hahaha! We'll see what happens there...but thumbs up to Briana... she may have gotten the set-up blind date right.

Put Up or SHUT Up

I was just with a friend of mine who bitches non-stop about her job. During work hours she is incapable of talking about anything else. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. If it's not one thing...it's another. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. It makes me crazy. And the stories and the things she is bitching about are not THAT bad. Come on....you can't be a victim everyday.

Today, I lost it. She was bitching and I said, "you know, I have friends at nearly every other radio group....and it is 25 times worse. I am so sick of hearing people bitch and moan. If it sucks so bad.... find another job." She got all hurt. Listen. If you HATE your job....find another one. I have no respect for people who bitch about anything that they can change....and don't...just bitch about it. If you hate your job...find a new one. If your husband is a jerk.... either get counseling or leave him...don't bitch all of the time. If you are sick of being fat....work out and take that donut out of your mouth...or shut the hell up. Sick of being single...don't do anything to meet people? I don't feel bad for you at all. It's all about action.

Don't get me wrong. I am here for my friends....I want to hear about your joys and sorrows. I will listen if you have a bad day at work. I will listen if you and your spouse get in a fight. I will try and comfort you if you are feeling bad about yourself that day...and just need a kind word. I will DO that. HOWEVER, if all you can do is be a negative energy source day after day after day....then find someone else to bitch to. Because this BITCH is done. It's time to put up or shut up.

Baby Ryder

My friends just had their first baby (a boy) on March 23rd. Today I got an email from the dad on their son's delivery. It is such a well written and inspiring story...that I thought I would share. I hope it is as wonderful to others as it was to me....maybe you have to know Ryder's parents to really understand.

Just a quick snapshot of the parents. They are the kind of couple that people stop to look at when they walk in the room. They are both gorgeous and have this amazing energy around them. Ryder's mom is petite with a perfect body, long wavy blonde hair, a warm heart, very smart, great sense of humor and a loud & contagious laugh. Ryder's dad is around 6'5", blonde hair that looks like he belongs on a surf board than a court room, well dressed, funny, smart-ass and very handsome. I have never heard either say a bad word about anyone and they always have a good time. Anyway....this story made me smile and tear up. Enjoy.

For the record, just so you all know, here's how it went down: Richele drank castor oil for lunch on March 23rd after having tried every other method, known and unknown, to induce labor. I went to the club after work to play some racquetball and got home around 8. We put a movie in and at exactly 10:30 starting timing the contractions that were about 4 minutes apart and didn't seem to be stopping. I just figured that's what happens when you drink four ounces of castor oil, and didn't really think too much of it until 11:30 when the contractions were now approximately two minutes apart and definitely weren't stopping. I grabbed our bags, put them in the car, looked around for the keys for the next ten minutes, walked Richele out our icy back steps and we took off for the hospital. (Rich, I only blew one red light and didn't get pulled over I'm sorry to say) We got to the hospital around 11:45 and I filled out some paperwork while Richele was doubled-over in pain. They finally brought a wheelchair and pushed her down the hall to labor/delivery room #3. They told us the anesthesiologist would be in shortly, so I put on some Foo Fighters, got Richele some "ice chips" (apparently what hospitals call ice cubes), and proceeded to endure some fingernails-digging-into-my-arms pain of my own for the next half hour. Around 12:30, the nurse came back in and told us the anesthesiologist had been called to an emergency c-section for twins, and would be unavailable for an hour. The nurse hooked Richele up with a fentanyl IV drip that stopped some of the pain, but definitely not all. At this point, Richele was about 5 cm dilated and in more pain than any human should ever be in. She finally got the epidural around 1:30 or 2, and at that moment I wished the guy who invented the epidural was around so I could shake his hand. Richele went to "sleep" for a little while after that, and things seemed to be progressing nicely. When the sun started coming up, Richele was dilated to around 6 cm and the doctors thought that ryder might be sideways or something, so they put some probes directly into his head and gave Richele some pitocin to help create stronger contractions. I think it was around this time that Richele and I counted no less than six tubes/probes/needles/catheters coming out of her body, not to mention the oxygen mask and periodic blood draws during the entire ordeal. Of course,> we figured this was either perfectly normal...or they just knew I was an attorney. Around 9:30, they said we could either wait to see if she would continue dilating or could go in for surgery. Since Ryder's and Richele's heart rates and blood pressure were dropping during and after every contraction, we decided the best thing to do was to get him out as quickly as possible and not risk the health of either of them. At about 10:00, they prepped her for surgery and put me in a one-piece suit (that was far too short in the torso and gave me a wicked camel-toe). At 10:10 we were in the operating room, I was right next to Richele's head, with my hair net and face mask on, and the surgeon called out the time of the incision. At 10:12, I head them say, "there's his head," and I peeked around the surgical tent and saw Ryder's head - the most surreal, amazing, and beautiful thing I've ever seen. They pulled him out, cut the cord, wiped him off, wrapped him up, put a hat on him, and handed him to me. I laid him down on Richele's chest and the three of us just stared for the next ten minutes. Dr. Shultze and Dr. Grah are two amazing surgeons who did a fantastic job. In fact, other doctors in the hospital were coming in to see their work because apparently it was one of the better procedures ever done. There were no stitches or anything showing - just a tiny line with some antiseptic ointment on it. Pretty amazing really. Then they wheeled us into the recovery room and Ryder started eating right away. At this point, I probably should have started calling everyone, but c'mon... Richele had to wait until around 5:00 before she got into her own room (oddly, it was a very busy day and all the doctors kept asking what was going on in Denver 9 months ago to bring in so many babies all of a sudden). Mr. and Mama O. got in Thursday night with Nene and Jade and we all went back to the hospital first thing Friday morning. Normally, patients are required to stay at least three days after surgery, but since we're talking about Richele, and not a normal patient, we all came home on Saturday afternoon and things have been great since. She's healing nicely and has been running up and down the stairs, picking up Jade (bad Richele), breastfeeding, showering, and laughing a lot. Ryder and I watched some great basketball games on Saturday and Sunday - he seems to be a big George Mason fan for some reason. I got into work around 10 today, and things seem a little different here. All the screaming and yelling and complaining and whining and bitching and crying that I deal with on a daily basis all seems like it's a bit more distant today. Priorities have changed. I actually have a smile on my face. I'm in my office and I'm smiling. This kid has already changed my life. I can't stop looking at his picture! Can't wait for all of you to meet him in person. See you soon.

Bad Dog

Last night I had a bad dream about my college softball coach. I dreamt that she kicked me off the team at the beginning of my senior year, and I was trying to get the Athletic Department to honor my scholarship through my senior year because my coach is crazy as a shit-house rat. Now that part of the dream was all made up...that didn't happen in real life (well except for the crazy as a shit-house rat...that was true.) However, in my dream during this investigation by the Athletic Department....all of the horrific stories of crappy things she did to me... were 100% true. I dreamt I was in some room with a bright light having to re-live those true things she did to me. I think I had this dream because I told my parents last night at dinner that I was going back to a college reunion at the end of April

Let me just get this right out in the open by saying my college coach HATED me. Our team mascot was the Bulldogs. My team lovingly called me BAD DOG. Anyway.

Here's one of the true stories. Flashback to 1991. My freshman year. My coach comes into practice in a really bad mood. Since it's still winter outside, we are practicing inside the Field House. Coach decides to line us all up in a single file line and one at a time rapid fire sharp ground balls at us....one right after the other....about 15 in a row. If you missed ONE...or over-threw the base, you had to go to the back of the line and do it again. Certain players really struggled with this. I didn't. I picked up everything she shot at me....and threw it to the base perfectly....which worked her up into this nasty frenzy. She told me that I got to do it again....so I went to the back of the line and waited my turn. When it was my turn again she told me to move up about 5 feet closer to her...so that the balls would be harder and faster. Fine. And this time instead of keeping them reasonably close to me...she was firing them to my wide right....then to my wide left.... over and over. I was driving for the ball, picking it up and throwing it to the base. Over and over again. Well, my horrible left knee gave out on me and I fell to the ground. I tried and tried to get up...but my knee wouldn't hold up. Coach didn't stop firing ground balls at me.... the balls were hitting me over and over again....in the face, in the back, in the leg. Everywhere. My team was standing there in amazement. Our trainer Frank was trying to get to me to help me up and to look at my knee...and she was even hitting HIM with balls. Finally he screamed at her to stop. She freaked and threw the bat and screamed for me to get the hell out of there. Gladly. I grabbed my stuff and left. I called my parents....balling hysterically. Only dogs and dolphins would able to understand the squeaky voice. LOL. They told me I could quit if I wanted to. The CSU coach still wanted me to come up there and play...full ride. I cried all night. I loved my school. I loved my teammates. I didn't want to give up. I didn't want that BITCH to win.

The next day, I went to coach's office to talk to her. She screamed at me for about 15 minutes and threw a file of about 500 player profiles on her desk, who according to her, wanted my scholarship. She screamed some more. I just sat there quiet. After she was done ranting. She asked me what I wanted. I said, "I want to go to practice." She yelled "FINE!" I said "FINE!" And I showed up at practice. And she ignored me....for weeks.

Two days later I got a huge packet in the mail from my parents. It was my scholarship offer, my application for enrollment (all filled out) and a check for moving expenses and my first few months rent in Ft. Collins. I took a thumb tack and hung it on my wall. That packet was my inspiration. I hung it up on the wall every year after that.... the day that I graduated...I took it down and threw it away. I had won.

Years later I was back in Des Moines for a college reunion. A bunch of my teammates and I were getting our nails done at a salon owned by a woman who was married to a man who was a huge financial donor to the college. Hell, our softball field was named after him. My teammates started teasing me and calling me BAD DOG. We were all laughing as they were telling stories of horrible things that coach did to me. The woman who owned the salon looked at me after about 5 stories and said, "Emily is this all true?" I said, "Yes, and this is just the beginning." She replied, "Well, I don't think Ron would donate money to a program with a coach like that." I shrugged. A month later a huge investigation into her conduct was done. She was fired shortly after. She got hers....and I got mine. I got a free education and friends for a lifetime.

I WON!

I won the NCAA March Madness Pool at work. I got $135. It would have been more...but they awarded a 2nd and 3rd place prizes. Which is cool with me. YAY! I made an appointment to get a highlight and haircut today with my winnings. Weeeee!

Ears are ringing

I just walked downstairs to the basement parking garage in my building at work. I was carrying my new (heavy) desktop tower to my car. I look over at the crowd gathered around this piece of shit car...it starts smoking....BAD. Then this girl opens the hood...the car engine is ON FIRE. I stopped...and froze....my heart hurt...and my ears started ringing.... felt like I was gonna faint. It was that same feeling you get milla-seconds before a car accident. The flames were shooting up so high out of the car's engine. This other guy was standing there with a fire extinguisher....thank God. He put out the fire...and all I could say was "is it out?" Man...that car could of exploded so easily. Deep breathes.

Strike Three...You're OUT!

My drive to work this morning was ridiculous. There are 3 major reasons why.

Strike ONE. The RTD drivers announced a strike yesterday and only 50% of the buses are running....so more commuters.

Strike TWO. There were RTD picketers everywhere...and of course... drivers have to rubber-neck to look at them.

Strike THREE. Today is Opening Day for the Rockies. So...there are a ton of people coming downtown to party...who from my guess...don't come downtown much. I am thinking this because there were a ton of people driving slow and leaning in to look at street signs. Many idiots changing lanes at the last minute...and a ton of people trying to parallel park....who haven't done that since their driving test.

Never fear...I made it to work in one piece.... just 15 minutes late.

Feedback

Last year at this time I was dating this guy named Joseph for about 2 months. He seemed cool and we were having a great time. Then one night out of the blue he called me in the middle of the night really drunk. He was ranting about something and I told him to call me tomorrow...that I couldn't understand what he was saying...said goodbye...and hung up. Well. He called back about 20 times....both home and cell. I turned off the ringers after the first 5 calls. He left a series of nutcase voicemails. I never called him again.

Cut to yesterday. On the radio station's website, we have a button for FEEDBACK. These emails go to pretty much the whole staff...including our CEO, CFO and COO. Sweet. Joseph sends the following email.

Feedback:
Please have Enily call us, we might have a way to promote our company along witho yours in a very low cost and non-obvious situation. We would like to talk to her first, she made the pitch that stuck with us. thanks, JCB

Made a pitch that stuck with us. Blah. And notice that this GED hopeful didn't include his PHONE number in the email for me to call him back. AND he spelled my name wrong. People kept coming by and asking me what the hell that email was all about. I tell 'em "I dunno." It didn't occur to me WHO it was until I hit REPLY on his email...and his email address popped up in the TO: field. Sweet. Then once I told my boss that I know who this guy is...and explained the situation...and that I won't be replying to him...we all got a good laugh. Coo Coo Coo. I sure do know how to pick 'em. LOL!

Sofa City Sweetheart

My sister came in town yesterday from Laramie to do some wedding stuff. I took off with her about 1:30 pm from work to hit the town. We visited a party decorations store, a flower shop, Butler Rents and then went to the dress store so she could get her wedding dress measured for alterations. She bought her dress off the rack...and it fits like a glove. The only thing the seamstress has to do is hem it. She looked gorgeous. After we finished running around...we went to our parent's house for dinner. We sat around and talked about our day and what we saw. It was fun. Then Natalie looks at me with this oddly confused face...and wanted to know what happens at a Bridal Shower. HUH? I had no idea...but she has never been to one. AND ME...I have been to what seems like hundreds.

I tell her that typically a Bridal Shower is like this:

• It's a Brunch usually with baby quiches, hash browns, fruit, bloody marys and mimosas (but that she didn't have to do it that way).

• She gets a ton of great gifts.

• Everyone will want her to tell them about Danny and how they got engaged and will want to look at her ring about 20 times.

• They will want to hear about the wedding plans.

• That you make a bouquet out of the ribbons on the gifts for her to carry down the isle at the rehearsal.

• That ladies (for the record....I won't) will squeal with delight when she breaks a ribbon opening gifts due to the wife's tale that every broken ribbon represents the number of babies she will have.

• The ladies play Bridal Shower games....and then I make a comment that I would rather put something HOT and SHARP in my eye than play Bridal Shower games. Her eyes got big...and she said, "Oh yea, I don't want games at my shower, they're dumb."

My mom's face was crushed. I realized that I needed to fix this. Just because I am sick of playing Wedding Trivia or making toilet paper wedding gowns...or some other horrible game... doesn't mean that Natalie shouldn't do that. I felt really bad when I got home. So bad actually that I couldn't sleep. I finally dragged my tired ass out to the couch to sleep at 4 am...hoping that a change of environment would trick my mind into forgetting my insensitive statement...and I would fall asleep. It didn't work.

I called my mom first thing this morning and told her that I felt bad for saying that...and I don't want Natalie to miss out on part of her Bridal Shower experience because I poo poo'ed it. I called my sister a few hours later (so she could sleep in) and told her voicemail that it is her and Danny's wedding....and that I felt bad for telling her that Bridal Shower games suck so bad. She should have games. If she wanted to. She should have all of the traditional stuff....IF SHE WANTS THAT. And I told her how utterly gorgeous she looked in her wedding dress.

Don't spoon me!

I went to a thing for work called Ascertainments. Basically every TV and radio company sends 2 reps to hear different Community Leaders speak about their concerns and ways the media can help them raise money for their non-profit and what-not. The media is listening to the public for a change. Anyway. There was this one women who is highly educated and quite the society chick. She is on the Board of Directors for too many organizations to list. She was there to talk about Dental health and the challenge of the un/under insured public. She started talking about this disease called Caries Disease. She said it was a Strep mutation. Ehw. This Caries Disease is a virus and causes horrible tooth decay and Periodontal Disease later in life. The most disgusting part is how this disease is transmitted. She said that it's transmitted from the child's mother or caregiver (if they have have Caries Disease) by eating off of the kids plate or licking the kid's spoon and putting it back in the kid's mouth. EWH! She said that it is super common too. Yuck. Most kids are infected between the ages of 3 months and 24 months. I looked on line to find some research supporting her claim. I wasn't having much luck (or patience). So I CALLED the lady who spoke yesterday.... (yes, I did)...and asked her for some research and more information that I could read. She gave me a ton of names of Dentists and people at the Center for Public Health to call. I didn't call them....I know she is telling the truth. After I hung up.... part of me wanted to call her back and tell her that I don't have Caries Disease or Periodontal Disease...I am just curious....I don't have even ONE cavity. But I figured she would think that I am certifiably crazzzzzzy. If there is one lesson to learn here.... don't lick your kid's spoon. Even if the baby food is ubber delish. Ha.

Weekend

I had a good weekend.

Friday night, I went to a "reconciliation party" for my cousin Chris and his ex-wife Caroline. They got a divorce last year...but have decided to get back together....thus the "reconciliation party". That was what they called it.... not me. Anyway. They have a 3 year old daughter....so I am happy that they are trying to work things out. There was an odd minute where they both thought it was funny to tell the whole party what they did with their wedding rings after they broke up. Chris apparently threw his in the Platte river. And Caroline took the diamond out and sold it. They were both laughing hysterically at their stories....and I caught myself starring at them with my brow furrowed. Humpf. Surprisingly the party was fun. I was the only single girl in a house full of single cops...so that was fun. I felt like the belle of the ball.

Saturday, I ran a bunch of errands and dropped a small fortune at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I shouldn't go in there with extra cash in my pocket. Saturday night, Briana and I went to Rio for dinner and then out dancing at Club Rise. It was her birthday so we did what she wanted.... because I HATE going to clubs. But actually it was a good time and it felt good to dance.

I went on a date with Jim (new guy) today. He is a great guy. I am a smitten kitten. We went to an English Pub and watched basketball. Good times. I could see my self dating him. We'll see huh?

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire

Last week, I got an out-of-the-blue phone call from a guy who I used to work with years ago. He said he wanted to go grab a drink. We scheduled drinks for last night. I was thinking that he was gonna offer me a job (that I wouldn't take) so I went anyway to hear him out. I get there...and right away I realize...he thinks this is a date. He's in his early 50's, kinda attractive...but not really....but very very very rich. Yes, he's a millionaire. He is an investment banker. He starts telling me about his new house in Aspen....his loft in LoDo. I gag. He asks me if I had heard that he's separated. He tells me that he is dying to have more kids (he has a college aged daughter and a son who is 16...one from each of his previous marriages). He tells me that he is looking for a woman to pamper. He starts throwing out dollar amounts on his recent business deals (yes, in the millions). I gag. He tells me how pretty I am. He tells me that even when he was married he was attracted to me. I gag. I notice that our Mayor is at the table next to us... he gets up and interrupts the Mayor's dinner to shake his hand because as he claims they are "friends". I gag. I slip a little white lie into the conversation and I tell him that I am seeing someone. He keeps ordering more bottles of wine. I finally...after about 2 1/2 hours of weirdness tell him that I need to go home. He then throws on the table about 3 other options of things for us to do next. As politely as possible explain that I really want to go home. I guess if I wanted to be wife #3 to a millionaire...I may have been able to close that deal. I guess I don't want to be a millionaire THAT bad.

Wrong Lyrics Part Deux

I am notorious for singing the wrong words to songs.... sad.

Here's one that I just figured out that I have been singing wrong for years. The song "Ebony and Ivory." I thought the line was "Side by side on my piano, heave-ho, oh lord, why can't weeeee?" OK.... as you are laughing your ass off at the heave-ho part....the real words are...."Side by side on my piano, KEYBOARD, oh lord, why can't weeee?" I am cracking up and shaking my head right now. Ha.

Shallow Talent Pool

I normally won't talk about work...but I am gonna blog about the "radio industry" as a whole...not my stations.

I am so sick of hearing about radio stations who keep putting on non-radio people to host big radio shows. And when their ratings suck...they don't know why. When Howard Stern left terrestrial radio to go to Sirius Satellite Radio...he left a huge hole for the geniuses at CBS Radio to fill. So who did they put on-the-air to cover several of his markets? David Lee Roth. Wha? Just because his songs were once played on the radio with regularity...doesn't mean he can be a good jock. I am telling you...it is NOT easy. So many people think "hell I can do that." Ahem....I would bet a pay check that 99.9% of you can't just walk up to a mic and do a GOOD show. It takes talent AND practice. You wanna know who the other person CBS put on to "replace" Stern? Rover. Never heard of him? Right. The sad thing is he was a NIGHT jock on The Peak right here in Colorado about 4 years ago. For those of you who don't know.... a NIGHT jock is the worst shift...and usually only make about $10 an hour. Hoorah for Rover right? Wrong. Both David Lee Roth and Rover are stinking up the airwaves...just as much as we thought they would. And...Howard Stern.... is laughing all the way to the bank. CBS Radio has filed one of the most frivolous radio law suits I have ever heard of against Howard Stern. I could go off about that....later....another post. Anyway....back to the shallow radio talent pool.

Danny Bonaduce (yes the dork from The Partridge Family) got another - yes another - huge radio gig. I can't believe it. He stunk up the airwaves for years with another bad Colorado jock.... Jamie White on the syndicated "KISS" stations out of L.A. What's his new gig? Mr. Bonaduce was announced as the replacement for Adam Carolla on the show "Love Line." WHA? DANNY BONADUCE will be giving people ADVICE on their lives and love lives? Phhhlease. His show should be called "Do What I Say, Not What I Do" not "Love Line." Plus not to mention Danny's voice is worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. His voice makes me want to push pencils in my ears. Ha.

So, why has our radio talent pool gotten so shallow that we can't find good radio talent to put on the air? Well well well. We are a victim of our own plan. Radio companies have gotten so cheap that instead of paying some schmuck $10 an hour to work a weekend shift or an over-night shift...they either syndicate some idiot from another market or have their full-time day jocks "voice track" night and weekend shows. Plus, there is a whole new string of radio formats all over the nation that are designed to run without jocks. Not having to pay ANY jocks? It's virtual crack for the cheap radio companies.... cutting those salaries will save 100's of thousands of dollar PER station. So...that means that there are even fewer gigs for jocks to learn and get better to someday be talented enough to work at our big market stations.

People have asked me for years if terrestrial radio will survive with all of the new competition from satellite radio and iPods. My answer has always been, "radio will react to the competition the same way that network television reacted did when cable tv came around. Network television got better. They starting pumping money into marketing, research and better shows. They started hiring big time stars and talent to star on their shows. Network TV got BETTER to compete...and so will we." Well...if terrestrial radio keeps cutting off their own legs.... to save a buck...we won't have a chance to GET better....and we will lose.

Thank God I am a good waitress.

Dog Sitting

I am dog sitting at my parent's house. This is the house that I grew up in....well...from 6 grade up. I went in and stood in my old room...which doesn't look like my room anymore because the SECOND I sent to college Natalie moved in and had new carpet and paint done.

They have 2 Grandfather clocks that are set to chime every 15 minutes with a single BONG....and the real treat is at the top of the hour....one BONG for every hour. One clock goes...then seconds later....the second clock goes.

I didn't sleep very well last night. Plus I got up in the middle of the night and looked outside and it was snowing...so I am thinking that this storm that has been predicted as up to a foot of snow...was making an early appearance...and I didn't leave enough food out for my cat....which made me worry...and wonder if I should get up right then and drive home to get her more food.

Making a meal there is like cooking in the grocery store. They have every spice, every possible meal combination, everything. It took me 45 minutes to decided what side dish I would have last night. Ha.

The dogs are on a very tight schedule so around 9 pm they both started looking at me like...it's time for bed....come on. The Jack Russell Terrier even brought his "baby" out of his bed and laid it on my lap...To tell me it was sleepy time. Ha.

Right now...I am at my house for an hour or so to feed my kitty and play with her for a while. She is sitting next to me. Ahhhh. I wonder if this storm will be as big as they think. I looks like it's gonna snow.

Oh yea....so the tabloids are starting to pick up on the Britney baby story...that she may be pregnant again. I posted that on March 8th. Ashley's friend who is an agent in Hollywood told her....and he hasn't been wrong yet. Gawd...I hope he's wrong on this one.

This will be a long one....

This 1/2 Irish girl's St. Patrick's Day was just another day...nuttin' too special. I missed my favorite holiday meal at my parent's house.... Corned Beef and Cabbage... because I was sick last weekend and didn't want to give my cold to my grandparents or parents (who left today for a 10-day Caribbean cruise). Yesterday we had the beer and pizza party at work I put together to meet my new staff members...but after that...I went home. My co-workers all went to some Irish pub...but the thought of being around a ton of really drunk people just wasn't sounding fun to me. Plus, if I was to go out and have more than a couple beers...I would want to take a cab home...and it's nearly impossible to get a cab on any of the amateur night holidays.

Cut to about 6 hours later. I am sitting on the couch watching "Just Like Heaven" drinking a glass of wine. My very drunk brother calls and begs me to come pick him up. He's been at some Irish bar called "Patricks" in Aurora for hours and can't get a cab to come home. I tell him that I have had a couple glasses of wine...and I can't risk going out and getting BOTH of us killed. I beg and beg him to just sit there and wait for the cab...to not get frustrated and drive. I start to really worry and get a sick feeling in my stomach. I know Bob...and his level of patience is worse than mine. About an hour later (after pacing my living room being mad at myself for having that 3rd glass of wine) I call my brother. He is in a cab with friends and will sleep at one of their house's tonight. Whew.

So back to the movie "Just Like Heaven" starring Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo. Cute movie. I have to admit....many parts of the movie felt autobiographical....like they were talking about MY life. Parts of it upset me. Parts of me made me laugh. Parts of it made me cry. Pretty much my recipe for a good movie.

So back to my parent's 10-day cruise. They left this morning. I am house sitting this weekend. A girl from my mom's work will be there all week. And my brother will take next weekend into the beginning of next week. This is my parent's anniversary cruise...and they so deserve it. They have planned all sorts of excursions. They will go horseback riding. Deep sea fishing. One-day boat tour. Which I said to my dad...."you two signed up for a booze-cruise?" He kinda acted shocked..."well they will have booze on the boat." And I laughed, "You guys will be on a booze-cruise...fun!" Good for them....I hope they have a wonderful time.

I am still in first place in the NCAA Basketball pool. Hee hee. I guess 1st place gets around $100. Sweet.

Me and my Dad's softball season starts up in 2 weeks. We will have practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30 pm - 7 pm. And games on Fridays. We have a team of 15 little 7 or 8 year old girls. Cherill's niece is on our team. My dad requested her...and we got her. YAY! Should be interesting....or a free advertisement for birth control. Ha.

I have been dieting trying to drop a few pounds for Natalie's wedding. If I am gonna be the single sister who is 9 years older than the bride....I want to look hot. I have added another day of cardo to my workout schedule. So I on Monday: I do Spinning at lunch and Yoga Sculpt (yoga with weights) after work. Wednesdays: I do Power Yoga. Thursdays: I do another Spinning class. I have been eating more veggies. Less cheese and bread. And cutting out most alcohol. Forget that I mentioned the 3 glasses of wine from last night. Ha. Anyway...I have not lost one pound. Not one. I have noticed a change in my muscles...and I look better...but not one pound. I think I am gonna hire a personal trainer.

Natalie's wedding. Here's the latest. She picked out her wedding gown in 40 minutes. She bought one off the rack for $400...down from $1,500. She knew what she wanted in her head....found it...it fit except for the length...she bought it. She picked her wedding site...Hudson Gardens. She picked her reception site...my grandparent's clubhouse. And booked and paid for both in 2 hours. She is a woman with a vision. She makes decisions...and I don't see a hint of worry in her eyes. Now. On to what she wants to have at the reception. My parents gave her a chunk of change and told her it was her money to do with as she chooses. She has been refusing to have food at the reception. Her ceremony is at 4 pm...she has to have something there to eat in my opinion. I am not saying Steak and Lobster....just something. A heavy appetizer buffet might work. I have been pricing out food for her just to give her an idea. My dad has been the silent partner in this business agreement this whole time. Last Saturday....he snapped. He called me...and the conversation went something like this.

Dad: "Hi Em, I have been thinking about Natalie's wedding. I think she needs to feed these people."

Me: "I agree Dad, but Natalie doesn't feel that she needs to feed people. She has told me she doesn't want to spend more than $1,000 for food, cake and booze. Now you and I both know she's nuts...but this is what she wants."

Dad: "Well, I have an idea. Since the wedding is in June, what about a luau/Hawaiian theme for the reception? We could have Frank's BBQ cater it. I spoke to Frank (my dad is a regular) and Frank said that he would cater it for $14.95 per person." (Insert here...my dad listing out every menu item. It's a ton of food.)

Me: "Dad, that sounds like a great idea....as long as I don't see a pig with an apple in it's mouth on a stick over a fire pit or cheesy Hawaiian decorations...you have my approval. But Dad...with Natalie's 100 guests, before drinks, tip and tax...that is $1,500....you know she doesn't want to spend that."

Dad: (Now he is starting to lose his patience) "I know she doesn't. She doesn't get it. She planned a late afternoon wedding....we have to give these people a meal. (Patience lost) I WON'T LOOK CHEAP. I REFUSE TO LOOK CHEAP....LIKE I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO GIVE MY DAUGHTER A PROPER WEDDING. (I am trying to cut-in and tell him that no one will think he's cheap) I WILL JUST PAY FOR THE FUCKING RECEPTION. I WILL JUST HAVE HER GIVE ME $1,000 BACK OF MY MONEY...AND I WILL PAY THE REST. I REFUSE TO LOOK CHEAP."

Me: "Dad, sounds great. This will make the decorations easier. I really want to be a part of the decorations to make sure it's classy....not cheesy. There will be no paper pineapples or palm trees. And Dad, promise me that there won't be a pig on a stick over a fire pit...and you have my blessing."

Dad: "Fine, I am gonna call your sister now."

Me: "So Dad, do you think that Natalie knew all along that if she refused to feed people...that you would...and that you would pay for it?"

Dad: "Yea." He laughs.

Natalie agreed to my Dad's idea.

Pretty Good Day

I am having a pretty good day...as far as work days go.

Today is the first day of NCAA March Madness College Basketball Finals and I entered the office pool to pick the winners of each game. Only about 15 people entered...so the money pot isn't that big...but still. I am in first place after 4 games...and picked a huge upset (Wisconsin-Milwaukee over Oklahoma) that has allowed me to strut around the office and gloat. FUN! I don't know jack-shit about college basketball...in fact many of my picks were based on a tried and true system that back in the day...Becca was famous for using when picking teams in our company football pools. Becca would win all of the time...and it was really entertaining. Her system? It's simple really....she would pick the team from the city that she would prefer to go shopping in. Chicago over Pittsburgh or New York over Ohio every day of the week. It's easy. The fact that I am wining really really pisses off the guys in the office. Victory! I don't think I will tell them I am using Becca's genius system. Hahaha!

I got a free copy of the new Dave Matthews Band double CD and DVD of "Weekend on the Rocks". I was at the Sept. 12th show at Red Rocks. I sometimes hear the crowd...and think...that could be me cheering. Can't wait to watch the DVD. Wee!

I am having a good hair day.

I am cranking out tons of work.... most of the projects have been annoying ones that I have been just kind of pushing around on my desk for another day.

I had a meeting with some guy who told me that his mom is Gabby Gourmet...anyway totally off the subject.... he was presenting his eMarketing product to me and tried to talk to me in the "oh-cute girl-must-not-really-know-shit-about-marketing" way...and I showed HIM. I started asking him questions that he didn't think I would ask and caught him off guard. He said, "he would have to check." HA! How about using the "Cute-girl-AND-smart-knows-her-shit" tone from now on mister? Hee hee.

Tonight is my favorite night of TV.

Tomorrow.... I organized an Office Party to introduce the new members of my team to the whole staff. I have 19 employees who work on my team. I will order pizza...and my boss asked me to bring beer. Free beer and pizza...my favorite. :) AND....it's St. Patrick's Day. YAY! I won't be going out on the town though....it's amateur's night.

May I take your order?

Ok... a friend of mine ran across this blog written by a man who went to a steakhouse/restaurant in China with his wife. The menu....well...the menu was "loosely" translated into English. Click HERE.

My order would be as follows: "Hi, I would like to start off with an order of Cowboy Leg. For my meal I would like the Big Bowl Flavor Vegetables Pig Living Bowel with the Rurality Salad. To drink, I would like the Egg Honey Wixt Juioe. And for dessert, the Double Boiled Forest Frog." Gawd.... not only is it Double Boiled FROG....it's Double Boiled FOREST Frog. Ewhhh.

My first band interview

Today, about an hour ago, I did a phone interview (my first band interview) with Vince Clarke of Erasure. Some of Erasure's radio hits are "Oh L'amour" "Chains of Love" and "Drama". He was also the founder of YAZ and Depeche Mode. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Erasure, YAZ and Depeche Mode...so the thought of getting to chat with him on the phone was exhilarating. I did all sorts of prep work and research on him and his career. I didn't sleep a wink last night. So you're thinking.... well...how did it go? The interview went really well...he was charming...a sport when I asked him to record some liners promoting their concert.... it was great. Here's the kicker...I shook like a leaf the whole time. That's not like me. I mean...SHOOK. I listened back to the interview...and you couldn't hear it in my voice at all.... but STILL. Thank God it wasn't a face to face interview! HA! My favorite line of questions were... when I asked him about his view on American Idol and if that show was producing hit makers or hype. He said that it's not a true test of an artist unless they are performing their own work. Doing covers just shows that they can sing someone else song. I asked him if the producers of American Idol called him and asked him for permission to use one of his songs...would he let them. He said yes, that it's an honor to have someone cover your work.

Overall it was fun. I learned a lot. I am running more questions that I could have asked him over and over in my head. At least I did it. Weee!

Uncle Buck

I was talking on the phone to my aunt Diana last night and she told me that our Uncle Buck had past away. Uncle Buck was my Grandpa A's sister Doris' husband. We didn't see that side of the family much, except for some weddings and funerals....and once in a great while...a big family reunion. I remember that Uncle Buck was a gentle soul with a big toothy grin. One of his grandchildren (what does that make her relation to me.... 2nd cousin?) anyway is a girl named Lori Polland. If you grew up here...you probably remember the story of the beautiful blonde little 3 year old girl who was kidnapped and put by her kidnapper in the porta-potty in the mountains. She and her brother were playing in their front yard, a man offered her candy, she walked up to the car and he grabbed her. Little Lori was knee-deep in the muck for nearly 4 days. She was found alive and ok. I remember that when she was found she asked the man if he had the KOOLAID she had been asking for. Heartbreaking. My parents never let us forget that story and we spoke about strangers and the dangers of people we don't know probably every day. I found this story on her on the internet.

Years later, I was at work, and I get a random call at the radio station. A girl's voice says, "Hi, I am Lori Polland and I am a camp counselor at a summer camp for kids who have been through a traumatic event," I interrupt her and tell her that we are distantly related and she really wanted to come by the radio station and meet me. She was calling to get donations for her campers...so I put together a box of station goodies and looked forward to meeting her. She is a gorgeous girl and sweet as pie. We haven't been in touch since...but hearing that Uncle Buck had died made me remember a little girl who had a very bad thing happen to her...who choose to make a difference in other's lives...and she is quite an inspiration.

She's Pregnant Y'all

OH GAWD! I just heard that Britney Spears is pregnant AGAIN. AGAIN! It's been said before...but I need to say it again....you can take the girl out of the trailer park...but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.

5th place

I got 5th place in the pool.....and won a $75 gift certificate to my favorite restaurant. YAY!

Oscar Winners vs. my picks

Here are the winners vs. my picks:
Best Picture - "Brokeback Mountain"... Winner: Crash
Best Leading Actor - Philip Seymour Hoffman "Capote"... Winner!!!!
Best Supporting Actor - Paul Giamatti "Cinderella Man" Winner: George Clooney
Best Leading Actress - Reese Witherspoon... "Walk the Line"...Winner!!!!
Best Supporting Actress - Rachel Weisz "The Constant Gardener"...Winner!!!!
Best Animated Feature - "Wallace & Gromit"...Winner!!!!
Best Art Direction - "Memoirs of a Geisha"...Winner!!!!
Best Cinematography - "Brokeback Mountain"...Winner: Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Costume Design - "Memoirs of a Geisha"....Winner!!!!
Best Director - Ang Lee "Brokeback Mountain"....Winner!!!!
Best Documentary Feature - "March of the Penguins"....Winner!!!!
Best Documentary Short Subject - "God Sleeps in Rwanda"...Winner: A Note Of Triumph
Best Film Editing - "Crash" ....Winner!!!!
Best Foreign Film - "Paradise Now" Palestine...Winner: Tsotsi
Best Make-Up - "The Chronicles of Narnia"....Winner!!!!
Best Original Score - "Brokeback Mountain"....Winner!!!!
Best Original Song - "Travelin' Thru" from "Transamerica" by Dolly Parton....Winner: It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp
Best Animated Short Film - "One Man Band"...Winner: The Moon & The Son
Best Live Action Short Film - "Our Time Is Up"....Winner: Six Shooter
Best Sound Editing - "King Kong"...Winner!!!!
Best Sound Mixing - Walk the Line"...Winner: King Kong
Best Visual Effects - "War of the Worlds"...Winner: King Kong
Best Adapted Screenplay - "Brokeback Mountain"...Winner!!!!
Best Original Screenplay - "Crash"...Winner!!!!
I got 14 right.... I got 13 right last year and got 3 place in my big contest... fingers crossed.

My Oscar Picks 2006

Here are my Oscar picks for 2006. Can't wait for Sunday!

Best Picture - "Brokeback Mountain"

Best Leading Actor - Philip Seymour Hoffman "Capote"

Best Supporting Actor - Paul Giamatti "Cinderella Man"

Best Leading Actress - Reese Witherspoon "Walk the Line"

Best Supporting Actress - Rachel Weisz "The Constant Gardener"

Best Animated Feature - "Wallace & Gromit"

Best Art Direction - "Memoirs of a Geisha"

Best Cinematography - "Brokeback Mountain"

Best Costume Design - "Memoirs of a Geisha"

Best Director - Ang Lee "Brokeback Mountain"

Best Documentary Feature - "March of the Penguins"

Best Documentary Short Subject - "God Sleeps in Rwanda"

Best Film Editing - "Crash"

Best Foreign Film - "Paradise Now" Palestine

Best Make-Up - "The Chronicles of Narnia"

Best Original Score - "Brokeback Mountain"

Best Original Song - "Travelin' Thru" from "Transamerica" by Dolly Parton

Best Animated Short Film - "One Man Band"

Best Live Action Short Film - "Our Time Is Up"

Best Sound Editing - "King Kong"

Best Sound Mixing - Walk the Line"

Best Visual Effects - "War of the Worlds"

Best Adapted Screenplay - "Brokeback Mountain"

Best Original Screenplay - "Crash"

..... agree with me....don't agree with me.... steal my picks for your own.... I will post results....

Ruckus

There is always a ruckus by my office. Especially when it's warm outside like today.

If it's not the guy dressed as Abe Lincoln hollering about our government.

Or the cute old guy who plays Big Band songs on his clarinet and stomping his foot... all the while selling blow-pop suckers for 25 cents each.

Or the robot guy.... oh man...the human robot guy...this guy wears a silver outfit from head to toe and even paints his face silver...and walks like a robot... up and down the street. Oh and did I mention he's a mime? I tried to talk to him once. No words...but he did a poor mime routine. I always picture him having some executive high-powered job...and he does this as his secret double life. Ha.

Or the guy with is 3 kids handing out religious pamphlets and preaching while the kids wave signs that read "Jesus Saves"....DURING THE SCHOOL DAY.

Or the group of protesters who picket in front of a different building everyday....it's the same 15 people.... they are hired picketers I guess. And one of 'em has a bull-horn and shouts "What do we want?" and the picketers shout "Justice". And then the bull-horn guy says, "When do we want it?" and the picketers shout, "Now!" Over and over again.

Or it's the 500 ankle-bitters outside the Old Spaghetti Factory who have just carb-loaded and sugar-loaded for the past hour and are just thrilled to be out of school....so they shout every word.

Or it's the mall-rats on the mall begging for your change or your lunch left-overs.

Or the shoe-shine guy shouting at people telling them that their shoes need a good shine. One time he told me that I needed a shoe shine...I was wearing canvas tennis shoes. Humpf.

Or the girl who doesn't seem to notice or care that she is shouting on her cell phone on a crowded Shuttle Bus.

Or the guy who shouts nonsense while waving a sign that reads "Abortion causes Breast Cancer".

Or the skateboarders who use buildings and skateparks...and don't even notice the people walking by.

Gotta LOVE working downtown....never a dull moment.

Maid of Honor

My little sister's wedding is planned to be on June 23rd...although absolutely nothing has been done by her to start planning. I was talking to her on the phone last night and asked her, "Who is in your wedding party?" And she says, "Duh, you." And I said, "Well you have to ASK me." And then she asks me...and says that she wants me to be her Maid of Honor. AHHH. I am totally honored...but NOW she has got to get planning...because she is starting to give me an ulcer. Love that kid. (smile)

That happened in a Seinfeld episode

I have been reluctant to give updates on my dating life because I worry that somehow the information would get in the wrong hands... it is on the internet for Pete's sake. Anyway. Since I have been helping out as a coach at my dad's Sunday softball clinics...I ran into an old friend from High School, Vince. I have always had a crush on him...he's very cool....and very handsome. A while back we went to lunch to catch up. It was a good time....and I remembered why I had a crush on him in High School. Then we coached together every Sunday in February. We made plans to go grab a beer after the last of the Sunday clinics this past Sunday. During the middle of the clinic Vince came up to me and said "I forgot that my niece's 5th birthday party is today." I said, "Oh that's fine, we will reschedule." And he said, "No, I want you to go, I told my family you were coming." SIDENOTE: I know his family. His brother Tom and I were very close in High School. And his parents were involved with the school...so I know them too. In fact, I went to Vince's brother's wedding. OK. Anyway. I say, "Really? That is gonna be ok that I go?" And he assured me it was ok. So we chat after clinic and agree to meet there. I show up and find them all sitting in the restaurant. It was great to see everyone. It was a great time. At one point his mom says, "Julie, the kids and I are going to go play video games with the kids, Em do you wanna come?" I say yes and us chicks go play with the kids. His sister-in-law starts quizzing me on what is going on between Vince and I. All I could really say is that we are hanging out...not dating. But I do admit to her that I would be interested in dating him. So.... then after we were all done with all of the festivities, we were all heading home. Vince's mom says, "Em, we hope to see you again soon." And I tell them the feelings are mutual. They made me feel so welcome...and it was oddly comfortable. So then we all walk out to the parking lot. Vince waves goodbye and says "I'll talk to ya." I wave and say, "Great, thanks for everything." So now I am just praying I hear from him again. He's a good egg...and I really would like to hang out more. YIKES.

So yesterday I am telling Paul the above story....and he says, "you know, there was a Seinfeld episode where this same thing happened to Elaine. She met this guy, they go to lunch. They make a bet about something and end up going out again. But this time.... she meets his parents. Everyone keeps asking Elaine what is going on between them...and she just keeps saying, we are not dating." I cracked up.... of COURSE there is a Seinfeld episode that is close to my own life.... of course there is.

Damn you AOL!

I clicked on my AOL icon to check email and a picture of Sasha Cohen falling on the ice is plastered on the homepage. DAMN YOU AOL! I was soooo looking forward to watching the Ladies Free Skate at the Olympics tonight on TV. I didn't want to know NOW that Sasha falls during her performance. Man... that is like reading the last page of a book before you start to read the book. Maybe she will still get the Gold.

The Non-Hand-Washer

We are leasing a studio out to a Spanish speaking radio station. I don't really talk to any of them...but I do smile at them and ask how their day is going. That is about it. I was in the bathroom a few minutes ago standing at the sink washing my hands. I see one of their employees come out of the stall... glance at her hair... wipe her hands on her PANTS... and walk out the door. She is a sick non-hand-washer. Ewh! Ewh! Ewh! How do people NOT wash their hands after being in the bathroom... especially a public bathroom? Sheesh. Here is the real kicker. I just walked by the kitchen to see her filling her water bottle....and she is touching the handle to the water tank with her sick pp hands. People are gross aren't they?

On a side note...totally off subject. I have mentioned that I am coaching little 5 & 6 year old girls in softball. I have a crush on one of the coaches named Vince. I went to high school with him. And he is so hot and so cool. Anywhoodle, we are going for beers after the softball clinic on Sunday. Yay!

The biggest NON-celebrities around

The biggest NON-celebrities around are the car dealership owners. People know who they are because they have plastered their cheesy faces all over the TV...and now are local "celebrities". I know I have done it...slobbered all over some freaking car dealership owner....like he was someone "special". I was sitting at a Rockies game and looked over in the suite next to us and saw Dealin' Doug. We all whispered and pointed at his fake-tan-gold-chain-wearing-ass. How funny is that? He owns a car dealership....that's IT! I am sure I have sat next to Billionaire CEOs before and didn't even know it...but whoooooa... we all got all giggley over freaking Dealin' Doug who wears an ill-fitting Superman costume and soars over the city slashing prices on TV. Ha.

Dollars and Diamonds

Yesterday I was pumping gas and looked down to see a diamond earring laying on the ground. I bent down and picked it up. It was least a caret and 1/2 and beautifully set. I am no jeweler...but it looked real to me. I starred at it and instantly thought about when Emily P lost her wedding rings after taking them off in an airplane bathroom to put lotion on. Some ahole didn't turn her rings in. With the memory of what happened to Em running thru my head...I went straight into the gas station and turned in the earring to the GED hopeful behind the counter. I told him where I found it...and told him that it probably means a lot to someone and they will probably come looking for it. He grunted at me and said, "you think it's real?" And I said, "I don't know, I couldn't imagine keeping it, it's not mine. And like I said, it could be really important to someone." I know I know... he probably put the earring straight into his pocket and made a B-line to the nearest pawn shop...but it's his karma.... not mine.

I will tell this story because no one who reads my blog knows this friend of mine. And... I won't entertain guesses from the peanut gallery. OK. The other day I was catching up with an old friend who I rarely see or talk to anymore. She has had a really tough 2005. A group of us were out having some cocktails and she looks at us and says, "I am really fucked on my taxes this year, I lost $84,000 gambling last year." WHAT? Uh...yea. She actually thinks she lost more than $84K...but that amount she has receipts and credit card advances for. YIKES! She had won $60,000 and got a 1099 tax form for $60,000. But...she had put every dime of that 60K BACK INTO THE CASINO. So there she sits, $84,000 in the hole....and still having to pay taxes on another $60,000. I feel horrible for her for this self-inflicted nightmare...and feel helpless on how to help her.

The friends and family discount

I have heard so many examples recently of why using friends and family for business reasons is a huge mistake. A friend of mine has on 4 different occasions had her husband's family bail on plans to refinish their wood floors....and they always bail at the last minute. And due to the highly toxic chemicals...they have to move out for the weekend...and even find a place for the animals and the plants. I was house/dog sitting this weekend...and they were gonna stay at least one night at my place....and they bailed on them again to do the floors...at 7 pm....and not for a good reason. They "may" be getting a better deal on price...but customer service sucks. And how do you really yell at your husband's family?

I had my own experience recently where I used a friend to help me out on a deal...and the customer service sucks...and I ended up getting royally screwed on the price and things I was promised didn't happen...and I lost money. Sweet. But because it's a friend...I was in a bad situation to really freak out. I guess I thought this person would look out for my best interest... eh no. Lesson learned. I won't make that mistake again. The friends and family discount is not worth the price of admission.

Olympics

I was watching Pairs Figure Skating on the Olympics last night. The Russian couple has been undefeated for years and were the team to beat. About 6 months ago at a competition the guy Russian skater dropped his partner in the middle of a lift...she cracked her head on the ice. Seeing the clip still makes me cringe. The Russians stayed together and skated a decent program last night. It was conservative and didn't show any guts....but still... they didn't fall...and did an ok job. They were in 1st place. The last team of the night to skate was one of the many teams from China. There is a huge rivalry between the Russian and the Chinese coaches. You could cut the air with a knife due to all the tension. The Chinese couple had the Gold to win....it was in their control. They were gonna attempt a throw that had never been done in Olympic competition....the Quadruple Sow-Cow. If they landed that jump and executed the rest of their long program....the Gold was theirs. They started their program and the first throw was the Quad Sow-Cow. I was sitting straight up in bed...with my eyes as wide as saucers and my fingers crossed. He threw her in the air... all 4 rotations... but she fell on her knees and one knee twisted underneath her. I gasped. It was brutal to look at. As she crawled to her feet...the crowd and the other skaters were clapping for her as got up.... well....all except for the Russian skaters...they just stood there like soldiers at attention....sad! She limped around on the ice...the camera was showing a close up of her knee....already black and blue and swollen. She went over to her coach and told him she would finish the skate. They started their music again....they paced around the ice until the point where they fell in the music...then skated their freaking HEARTS out.... pure guts....pure drive....pure adrenaline. I had tears streaming down my face as if I was watching my own kid skate out there...it was amazing. They finished the program...and then WON the Silver medal. It was fantastic.

Ahhhh.... family

Today I grabbed a couple sandwiches and headed up to visit with my Grandma on my lunch hour. I love that lady...she's a feisty one for sure. She looks like a sweet old lady...but she can be tough as nails. When I got there she showed me 3 beautiful pieces of antique china that she wanted to hand down to me. One piece is a serving dish that is hand painted and belonged to my uncle's mom. The other 2 pieces are teacup sets that my Great Grandma Polly (her inlaws/my Grandpa's parents) owned. One of the sets was Great Grandma Polly's prized possession. It's bone China from her homeland, England. My Grandma said it is probably worth quite a bit of money. Not that I would ever sell it, it's priceless to me. At least if I ever went to the Antique Roadshow, I would have something to get appraised. Ha! I was honored. She said that my Great Grandparents really adored my dad. That my dad was was such a good looking kid, named after my Great Grandfather and was the first boy of all of their Grandchildren. Grandma was sure that Polly would be thrilled that my dad's oldest daughter got her china. After we ooohhh'ed and ahhh'ed over the china we went into the kitchen to eat lunch. I noticed that my Grandma started getting antsy. She's not a lady who is afraid of a conversation or confrontation so her uneasiness was starting to concern me. Then she said, "Em, I told your Aunt Diana (my dad's older sister) that I was going to hand down Polly's china to you, and she wanted me to tell you that just because you got those pieces of china doesn't entitle you to my china. (She took a deep breath) She wanted to make sure that you knew that (voice quivering) she is still going to get your Grandpa and I's wedding china. She wanted to make sure you heard it from me, from my mouth. Em, I promised that china to Diana as a child....and..." I stopped her and said, "Grandma, I would never fight Diana for your china or anything else. Never. I know I have said this before, but I care more for things like family pictures, wedding pictures, quilts, things that may not have much dollar value, but are priceless to me. I would never fight her." She told me that she already knew that, but Diana insisted that she tell me herself in those words. I could see the hurt in my Grandma's eyes. I am so disappointed that my Aunt that she thought I would feel entitled to the china, that I was that kind of person. However disappointed I am in those things....I am downright angry that she hurt Grandma's feelings and made her have to tell me something that she obviously didn't want to. As I left, I hugged my Grandma and told her that I want her around for as long as possible - that she is my prized possession.

We always need pizza delivery people

When I was in school once in a while I got a bad grade or two. My theory (not a good theory...but mine none the less) was "C's Get Degrees". My dad's response to me and my bad grades without fail was, "That's ok Emily, don't pay attention in school, get bad grades, the world will always need pizza delivery people." That used to infuriate me....totally his goal.

One of the many parts (less glamorous parts) of my job is ordering pizza for our street team to deliver to offices as a "thank you for listening" gift. I often joke that I could tell you the exact address and phone number to a pizza place with in 10 miles of any location in the metro area....sadly.... I probably could...but I digress. I am often reminded of what my dad would say to me and my bad grades when ordering the pizzas for work. This gal that I just placed an order with just said, "Do you need par-meee-ea-seee-an cheese with that?" Maybe this isn't gonna translate...but she was sounding out the word on the computer screen. I replied, "Uh parmesan cheese, yes please."

Pop - Pop - Fissssssss

Last night I was laying in bed sleeping.... soundly... when at 2:04 am... right outside of my window I hear a loud...POP POP FISSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I jump up thinking - oh God - that was gun shots. It was loud! I sit there for a second afraid to look outside.... however, a few seconds later I peek through my blinds to see a Yellow Cab pointing the wrong direction on the one-way street, smoking, dust everywhere, glass everywhere, and a trail of totaled cars lined down the street....all of the cars were still rocking from the impact. The Yellow Cab had hit about 5 cars parked on the street in a row... then really hit the 6th car hard POP...which made the cab spin around backwards...and the rear bumper really hit the 8th car hard POP....then fissssssss.... steam off of the hot engine with the leaking fluids. Within seconds a cop was there...then 4 cops. Lights everywhere. My room was one big blinking red and blue light. Then...people start coming out of their houses... there was some shouting. Then an Ambulance arrived. Then a huge flat bed tow truck arrived. THEN... Emily didn't get back to sleep until 3:45 am. I hope the driver was ok. Looked to me like he/she fell asleep at the wheel. Scary. At least it wasn't gun shots.

Shit from Shinola

Last night when walking back from yoga class my friend said the most hilarious thing. In fact, if I think about it... I crack up. She said, "He doesn't know SHIT from SHINOLA." I remember my grandpa using that phrase all the time...so hearing it again was funny. I think the things that become phrases...that really make no sense at all... are hilarious.

So the phrase "He doesn't know Shit from Shinola" needed some research. Where did this phrase come from? Here is what I found on a website. I apologize...this website is written by a man obsessed with corporal punishment and is full of examples of how companies "spank while you sell". Stupid website...but it gave the most to-the-point explanation of this phrase. Check it out.

Now.... I am really thinking about phrases. There are so many nutty phrases....that people (especially me) say everyday. For example, "She can't see the forest from the trees." I KNOW what it means.... it describes a person who can't see the overall picture (forest) because he/she concentrates too much on the details (trees). I understand WHAT I am referring to when I use the phrase...but what I want to know is WHO coined it? Or WHY is it so widely known? And actually...I'm also pretty sure that the reversed phrase has been in usage for some time too, I know I have heard it before. "Can't see the trees for the forest" used to describe a situation where someone is so overawed/overwhelmed by the size of a problem that he/she can't work out how to start solving it.

I think my personal favorite phrase right now is "Six of one, and one half dozen of another." I have always thought it meant that both are ways of saying or doing the same thing...although it doesn't appear that way.

AND - just so I don't disappoint... I have to include one that I have utterly mis-used since I could talk. "For all intents and purposes." I know how to use it in a conversation to make it work. But not until my dear friend Paul pointed it out to me recently (and laughing his ass off the whole time) It does not say "For all intensive purposes." Yup. True story. I used to say all of the time "For all intensive purposes." No one is shocked here.

Weekend

Friday I went on a first date with Brian. Great guy. Good time. We went to an Irish Pub and had some good laughs. I got a couple emails from him this weekend...so I am guessing we will go out again.

Saturday night my brother came over and we watched "Cinderella Man" and hung out. The douche bag that lives above me was blaring his music AGAIN. I pounded on the ceiling and he called me. In a snotty tone he said, "Is that quiet enough?" Then changed his tone and was trying to be nice. He has the worst taste in music.... techno. Sick. He's blaring his music again....as I type. I will give it the 24-hour rule and if I am still pissed tomorrow....I will place another complaint. I just don't understand why he thinks it's ok to play his music so loud.

Today I went to the first day of my dad's 4-week (Sundays only) softball clinic for 6 and 7 year old girls. He had an amazing turn out. There were 49 little girls there....he was hoping for around 30. The hot coach that I went to lunch with a month or so ago was there...and looking hotter than ever. We went upstairs to the halls of the high school and looked for our pictures in the Hall of Fame. We both giggled at our young faces...still gracing the halls of our alma mater. Several of the parents tried to come down on the floor and coach...and that was annoying. However, the little girls were super cute...and I am looking forward to coaching them at the clinics in the coming weeks....and this summer. After softball I met Briana at a Superbowl party thrown by a friend of hers. The game was decent to watch... I kept wishing the Broncos were playing. With a few minutes left in the game I took off to head home. I was 40 minutes from home...so I wanted to get a head start on the drunks. I drove past the restaurant that I worked at for years....and laughed to myself when I saw the masses of drunks on the patio...remembering that the owner is a HUGE Steelers fan. I am happy for them.... looked like fun. Now I am home... and I am exhausted. Time to make some tea and crawl into bed. I have a long week ahead of me at work.... tons of stuff to get done. The weekend is just never long enough.

It's contagious

It's contagious.

All 3 of the guys I have dated recently have taken me to an Irish Pub for our first date. I know that I prefer Pubs to Clubs...but why always Irish Pubs? I have to admit... I love going to an Irish Pub. They are always relaxed, fun and have Stella on tap. Interesting.

Ewh!

My pinkie toe nail fell off last night. Ewh! Ewh! No pedicures for me a long time. It looks sick. It came off in one big disgusting piece. Ewh! Thank goodness it's not summer or sandle season. Whew.

People have told me I have a voice for radio

In the category of "shit rolls downhill" I got to work our booth at a job fair today all by myself. We are hiring for 3 very different jobs. One - Multi-Media Director. Two - Sales. Three - Part Time Promotions. I am exhausted. Talking non-stop for 3 hours is tough. Being sweet and pleasant to dumb people for 3 straight hours. Exhausting. My throat hurts. Tired.

My favorite people are the ones who walk up and tell me that they want a job as a dee jay. I smile sweetly and explain that we are not hiring dee jays right now... but let me tell you about the 3 career opportunities that we do have. They don't hear me...and they continue saying that people have always told them that they have a voice for radio. That they KNOW music. That everyone thinks they are very funny and should be doing Morning radio. They try to give me a little taste of what "their" radio show would be like. I continue to smile and try to be pleasant. I explain again that we are not hiring dee jays right now. Then they get more insistent and and impatient with me. Then I have to tell them that their best bet to become a dee jay is to move to a smaller market and get some experience...then come back to a market this big and apply for dee jay gigs. Then they tell me again how they have a voice for radio...isn't that ENOUGH? I sooooo wanted to say about 10 times today...."yes, you do have a voice for radio...AND you have a FACE for radio too." I didn't. It would have been fun. Ha.