Chips

Hey. You. You know who you are. Ask yourself something. Were you there for me during my time of need? At my lowest time? Did you reach out to me to just let me know that you are there for me? C'mon really, were you there for me when the chips were down? Were you? If you were my true friend you wouldn't have to ask yourself those questions. If you let me down as a friend then why do you still read my blog? You don't deserve to know me through my blog...if you don't know me in life. You don't deserve to see how I am and what I am doing anymore. You should know the nasty things you said about me to your other "friends" would get back to me. They would tell me the things you said. You should know that. So as you take inventory of the people in your life, remember, the ones you think are your closest friends, really, aren't.

Save the Date

I love creative people. Check out the video on this page. It's the most creative Save the Date I have ever seen. Bravo. Bravo.

Name game

Todd and I have been playing the "name game" pretty much from the first day we found out we are having a baby. "What do you think of _____?" We found out that we knew a lot of whores and drunks in our years because every time one of us brings up a name ONE of us knew some dumb whore with that same name. Ha. Well then...cross THAT name off the list. Ha. Even after all of the name-crossing-off-the-list we have a list of 3 names that we both love. We won't name her until we meet her....but I certainly have my favorite name. Just last night we were playing the name game. Some guy on TV was talking about his sister who was the inspiration for all his successes, and her name was Jane. I said, "Jane, that's a pretty name." And Todd said, "Jane, you ignorant slut." (A la Saturday Night Live). Well. Cross it off the list then.

Pregnant

This is me at 27 weeks....so 3 weeks ago. BLISS!

Getting pregnant was really a heart breaking challenge. Looking back on it...makes my heart ache. The doctor visits. The constant blood draws. Black and blue arms. The waiting. The disappointment. The feeling of being "broken". The clomid meds that made me have night sweats and lose hours of sleep each night. The tears after starting my period AGAIN. Having to put a smile on my face and be the leader at work...when inside my heart was aching. The stress at work. The fact that my bosses rolled their eyes at me when I told them I had another doctor's appointment. (Keep in mind peeps, both of my (now former) bosses are WOMEN and MOTHERS). *Sigh*

Todd was my rock through all of this. It brought us closer together. He is the most amazing person I have ever known.

The light at the end of the lonely tunnel of infertility had many sources. FEBRUARY 2009: I started taking Clomid an infertility med that helps with ovulation. MARCH 2009: A dear friend suggested I start seeing an acupuncturist that her sister (now with 2 gorgeous kids) saw during her challenges with infertility. I LOVED my weekly sessions with the acupuncturist. It was so relaxing for me. APRIL 2009: I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. MAY 2009: The doctors found the right combination of meds to help treat my PCOS. JUNE 2009: We discovered my thyroid and TSH levels were wayyy out of whack. We got that leveled out and my TSH levels were back to normal. Between the PCOS and the Thyroid, I had 2 different doctors tell me it would take a miracle to get pregnant. I promptly changed doctors. Who needs that kind of negativity around? Sure as hell not me.

On Thursday July 23rd, my period was late. I was scared to get my hopes up....again. Todd and I hovered over the pg test. The test was defective. Sweet. Didn't give us a result. So on my way to work I swung into King Soopers to grab yet another box of tests. Those freaking tests are expensive. Sheesh. Anyway. I kept opening my drawer at work and looking at the tests in my purse. I decided to go ahead and pee on one to see what I would see. So in the 3rd stall on the left at my office I pee'd on the stick and waited. Positive. I shrieked. I floated back to my office with the positive test in my pocket. Later that night I paced the house waiting for Todd to come home. I wanted to tell him in person that we were going to have a baby. Like the dork that I am....I put a hamburger bun in the oven....and waited. He walked in the door. I laid the biggest kiss on that handsome devil and then pointed at the oven. "What is that?" I said. He looked and said, "Well, it's a bun. (Pause) It's a bun in the oven. (Pause) WE-HAVE-A-BUN-IN-THE-OVEN!!!!" Jubilance ensued and our lived changed forever that day....and lucky for us...will never be the same.

Hello again Hello

Hello again hello. (Insert the voice of Lionel Richie singing this ballet.) At least that is the way I hear it in my head.

I don't want to declare that I am back to blogging...however I will say that I am going to post today. We will see if I post again sooner than 6 months. No commitment.

I don't know where to start. So much has happened.

We are pregnant. Weeeee! I am 30 weeks (aka 7 1/2 months) and due April 4th. We are having a little girl and just over the MOON about it.

I lost my job. Those rat bastards at my former work. Rat-freaking-bastards.

We got the first shipment of the baby furniture yesterday. The armoire will be here in a few weeks. Check out the pic. The dog insisted on being in the picture. Sweet Barkley. We still need to buy the mattress and bedding...but this is a good start. I had a realllly hard time starting to create our baby room. I worried that we would create this gorgeous baby room....and something would happen to the baby. You may think I am crazy. Hell. I am crazy. But I am a realist. Things still could go horribly wrong. However, I am at the place where I think, "let go and let God." I am not a religious freak....but in this case....that saying just works for me.

Those are the big things.