Easter

Yesterday was Ava's 2nd Easter.  She was 5 days old last Easter.  So now, she's been in our world for at least ONE of every holiday.  Just buidling memories here peeps.  Here's a few cute pictures of our girl on Easter.  She's a cutie patootie. 

Village

I have the most amazing friends in the world.  I feel blessed to have such a great group of people in my life.  I have been feeling a little isolated somedays because we live so far from everyone.  I know my friends would do anything for me and I would do anything for them.  Sadly my very bestest friends live pretty far away.  Although I know they would be here as fast as possible if I needed them and visa versa...I wish they lived closer.  I have always wished we had cool neighbors to hang out with on weekends.  Or friends for Ava that are close to us.  Just hasn't been in the cards....until recently.  My friend Rene` introduced me to her    childhood best friend Carolyn.  She lives literally 5 minutes away.  Her husband Jay is so cool and they have a 5 year old daughter.  We have done several things with them and they rock.  Carolyn watches Ava from time to time....like today.  I had a dentist appointment and instead of having to drive so far to have family watch her for an hour, Carolyn watched her.  Ava loves Carolyn and never cries when she is there.  Today I called Carolyn after my dentist appointment and she said that Ava was sleeping and I should go run an errand.  So I ran to Target to pick up a few things.  While I was there I ran into a childhood friend of mine, Michelle.  She said, "What are you doing out here?"  And I said, "I live out here!"  We both laughed and talked of how far we live from everyone.  We exchanged phone numbers.  Yay!  A few weeks back I found out that an old friend of mine from radio, Julie, lives right up the street from us.  Another friend.  Close.  It takes a village they say and I am rebuilding my village close to home. 

Born

I'm addicted to that show "One Born Every Minute".  I dvr record it and watch it when Todd is not home or sleeping.  He is not amused about a show about women giving birth.  I watch the show and cry.  I am sure that is another reason why Todd doesn't like watching this show with me either.  Shock.  Ha.  Sometimes watching the show makes me want to have another baby so bad.  Because Ava's birth was a c-section, we missed out on that delivery experience.  Where the doctor lays the baby on your chest and you get to hold them and kiss them moments after their birth day.  I had a bad c-section and had a flurry of docs around me because of my issues during the surgery.  And Ava was whisked off to the NICU.  I didn't see her for over 5 hours after she was born.  I really wish we had that bonding moment right after she was born.  In the big picture I feel blessed she is here and healthy.  But I can still wish I would have had a more natural experience.  So.  I watch this show and get over it. 

Flu

I started my new job last week in the midst of one of the toughest weeks I have had in a while.  My schedule is Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.  OK.  Monday, Ava woke up with her first illness...stomach flu.  Blech.  We ironically already had an appointment at her doctor for that morning.  Ava puked all over me sitting in the doctor's office.  Poor boo.  Then she puked all over me again later that afternoon.  I was starting my new job and nervous about leaving a sick baby.  Tuesday, Todd came home from work with the stomach flu.  He has never taken even one day of sick leave in 8 years at this job...so I knew he was really sick.  My parents watch Ava on Tuesdays so they had her the 2nd day of her flu.  She seemed to do ok, didn't puke again and didn't have a fever so I took her to school on Wednesday.  Todd stayed home from work on Wednesday...really really sick.  I go to day 2 of my new job only to puke all over my office in the afternoon.  Sweet.  I went home early.  I puked all the way home out my car door.  Ava had an awful day at school/day care and cried most of the day unless someone was holding her.  I got her home on Wednesday and both Todd and I are siiiiiick.  Sucky.  It was tough to care for Ava because we both were so wiped out.  And she was so clingy after being at school...she just wanted to be held...and we both just wanted to puke.  Thursday, I'm feeling better and Todd is doing ok.  I go to work, and Todd only makes it a few hours before he was home again.  Ava had another challenging day at school.  Sigh.  Then the shitstorm of other tough things starts.  My best friend's dad passed away.  :( My grandpa went into the hospital and was/is not doing well.  My parents had to put their dog Shelby to sleep...she was very ill and 17 years old.  Our toilet broke (money we don't have to fix blah).  And so on and so on.  One thing after another.  At one point I looked at Todd and said, I didn't think I could take any more. 

And on an amazing note, my sister had her 2nd child and she's wonderful happy and healthy.  SO wonderful.  Her birth kept me going.  I missed her birth because we had been so sick and I would never want to expose her to an icky sickness.  I was so broken up about missing her birth.  I wanted to be there sooo bad.  Sigh.

Things are going better now....and I know that God will only give me what He knows I can handle.  I just wish He didn't trust me so much.

Anxiety

I start my new job tomorrow.  Besides having the normal starting-a-new-job jitters....I am really nervous about all the change in OUR lives.  My job schedule affects me, Todd, Ava, my parents and even our pets.  Ava will be with my parents on Tuesdays...and at school Weds and Thursdays.  Change.  The dog and cat have gotten really used to having people around all of the time.  Fine.  They will adjust.  Todd will have to get up earlier for work and working late will not be a possibility some nights.  Sigh.  And I will have some night and weekend events to run.  More change.  To add insult to injury Ava woke up late today and she had puked sometime this morning.  Boo. She didn't even cry after she puked.  Poor boo.  I got her up fed her breakfast and she was acting like she felt fine.  Then sitting at her 1-year old doctor visit this morning she puked all over me.  Poor girl.  I hope she's not getting sick after only being in school 2, 1/2 days last week.  I am having anxiety.  I'm the one who wanted to go back to work and my need is making so many people's lives different.  I need to take a deep breath.  I need a pep talk.