Little Joey

I love a good joke. My dad sent me this one. (Blushing)

A little Italian boy enters the confessional. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "Four months vacation and five good leads!"

emilyintheBURBS

I worked downtown for 8 years. I lived in/near downtown for 12 of those years. I have always considered myself a city girl. I have used the email address emilyintheCITY for so many years....I don't even remember how many.

I had to laugh yesterday. I had to give a speech to a group of travel agents in the same building downtown that I worked in for many years....the building I worked at the oldies station in. It had been a long time since I had been downtown. I parked at a meter and took the escalator up to the building. I remembered that when I worked there...I always laughed at the fact that people sleep in the chairs in the lobby of this building. I have never seen people sleep in chairs anywhere except at this building (ok...maybe at the airport...but c'mon). I giggled when I walked in and saw 3 people sleeping in the chairs of the lobby at 3 pm in the afternoon. I went upstairs...gave my speech...then headed back to my car. I have 100% become emilyintheBURBS....losing the CITY part of my name. I used to walk the streets of downtown every day and not even notice the people around me. Oh boy. I noticed the people yesterday. I saw drug deals. I saw people with crazy hair. I noticed the homeless. I noticed the mall rats. I noticed so much that I was so immune to because I saw it everyday in the past. I think it was good for me to actually LOOK at the world around me. I am so not a city girl anymore. I like where I live. I love where I am in my life.

How is Kim Kardassian famous?

Once in a while I will watch "Keeping Up with The Kardassians". It's mind candy. Trashy tv. It's a different version of "The Osbornes" show...which I love too. Anyway. They follow around this family...the dad is Bruce Jenner...and his wife is the widow of the lawyer from the OJ Simpson trial. Sadly he passed away...and she remarried Bruce Jenner. Anyway. She has 5 girls with her first husband. And Bruce and this lady have one boy together. OK. So...I was watching today and one of the daughters, Kim, was walking around her living room talking about how famous she is and how she is the #1 person googled that week...and how everyone loves her...blah blah blah. I look at Todd and ask, "how is Kim Kardassian famous?" Todd says, "porn". HUH? OK. So I do exactly what she was bragging about....I google her. Here's what I found. She's famous because she made some sex tape with some rapper. Shrug. She is awfully full of herself to self proclaim to be famous because she knows how to turn on a cam-corder. Funny. I bet the only reason she is #1 in the google search is because everyone else is wondering how this delusional bizzo is famous too. Ha.

Pop Fiction

I was watching tv this morning and caught a new show called Pop Fiction. Can you say TiVo season pass? Click click. Done. I LOVE this show. I think it's a cross between Punked & The Actor's Studio & Candid Camera. Basically stars who are typically followed by the paparazzi and plastered all over the tabloids... play a joke on the paparazzi and the gossip crazed public by staging and faking a story for the tabloids. This episode had Paris Hilton and Avril Lavine. Paris' spoof was that she drove all over town with this guy with a long gray beard wearing long robe & carrying a book. Within minutes all over the internet and tv gossip shows was that Paris was changing her religion. Funny. Avril Lavine's joke was that she was pregnant. Good one...since I can't go to the grocery store and wait at the checkout stand which is littered with magazines and NOT see a story about a rumor that some star is pregnant. Anyway. She put on a suit to give her a very small "belly bump" and she and her boyfriend went into 2 baby stores. Again. Within minutes it was all over the internet complete with tons of pictures. Avril is pregnant. Sweet. Each segment is ended with the star saying....the next time you hear about a story on tv or on the internet....please think for a second....is this TRUE? Or is it....POP FICTION? Good work. I love it.

Jaxon

Cherill had her baby on Monday evening. His name is Jaxon...and he is a cutie. Full head of dark hair and just the sweetest face. Congrats sugar! I will post pictures soon.

New Target undies

I bought some new undies at Target. I usually buy 'em at a lingerie store in a mall but since we live in BFE I shop at Target a ton now...it's only a few miles away. SO I was buying a few new bras and these undies matched the bras. Let me tell you this. I freaking LOVE LOVE LOVE these undies. They fit so well and are so pretty. And I got 6 of them for 8 bucks. Yup. For years I have been spending at least $5 for each pair. No more. I am going back later today to go buy more of them. I am hooked. There is nothing better than a great pair of underware. And if you are laughing and rolling your eyes right now...my friend. You don't have good underware. You just can't understand.

Oh no Dr. Laura

I can't stand Dr. Laura, Dr. Phil or any of those blowhard idiots out making millions giving misguided advice to the masses. I can usually steer clear of these people because I don't listen to them on the radio and I refuse to watch their tv shows. However, last week Dr. Laura was on my favorite morning show...the Today Show. I was half listening because they were talking about the governor who cheated on his wife with the hooker. Not interested in that story at all. But here's when my interest level changed. Dr. Laura was saying that men cheat on their wives because the wife didn't give him what he needed. Wha? The wife wasn't feeding the marriage enough. She wasn't even referring to this particular sad story...she was making a general sweeping statement that men cheat because their wives must not be satisfying them. She's a freak. I am sure that some men DO cheat because of that reason. But to make such a ridiculous all encompassing statement is flabbergasting. I do understand that people like her make these kinds of shocking statements for exactly that...the shock factor. And LOVE for people to talk about her. I am sure of it. So I won't perpetuate her desires anymore by giving even one more word or thought about her. Poof. Be gone crazy lady.

Addicted

I am addicted to Ebay. I am wondering if I will ever buy certain items in a store ever again. I have purchased a Treo smart-phone and all of the accessories including a blue tooth headset, case and car charger...for 1/4 the retail price. NEW. I bought my favorite bottle of perfume, for 1/2 price. I found the EXACT wedding veil I wanted for $15....they were charging me $250 at the store. WTF? I have found so many things...at an awesome deal. I have no idea if I will ever shop in a mall ever again. Plus, I am so competitive I love the auctions. Love them. Plus, how fun is it to come home and have GOOD mail. A box or something other than a bill to open. Bliss.

The wedding planning is coming along so wonderfully. I had my first dress fitting on Saturday. It was crazy to see the dress all pinned and hemmed to fit me. I love my dress. It is elegant and pretty. Love it. Todd and I worked on our wedding budget today. We are 100% on track to pay for every piece of the wedding before we walk down the aisle. Thanks to our parents and some good planning. Whew. We are going to taste cake next Saturday...yum.

Work has been hell. This past week was probably my worst week ever at work. On Monday at 12 noon, my new hire....resigned. Sweet. He took a temporary job. He must have really wanted out. I have spent the past 5 1/2 months training this douche bag....and he resigns. OK. I get it...this is a tough gig. But we are 2 months out from our biggest fundraising event....and he resigns. I knew he was having a tough time...but thought that he was adjusting to the job decently...it's tough to get used to the amount of work here. OK. Here's the crap of the deal. I started digging through his stuff. He has not worked in at least 6 weeks. Ya. SIX weeks....probably more. He has been telling me that this-that-and-the-other is done. Nope. Not done. He has spent his time on freaking you-tube & applying for jobs...AT WORK. What a back-stabbing slacker. Oh well. At least I found out now. I can fix his slacker behavior before our biggest fundraiser. However, that will require me to work more than the 60 hours a week I am currently putting in. But this too shall pass. I am proud to announce that that our chapter won a national award for excellence in 2007 that will mean a HUGE bonus for me. (Did I say huge???) The kind of bonus that pays for a wedding. I will stick it out to get that payday. All of those long hours feel a little worth it for this. Plus...it's nice to win a national award. Resumes like national awards.

Cherill is about to deliver Jaxon any day now. Can't wait to meet that sweet boy. I heart you Cherill. You are in my thoughts and prayers. If you need me for anything....let me know. HUGS!

I could use some prayers. The lease with my renter is up in May. Please pray for me that he will want to BUY my condo. Buy it at least at cost of my loan. Please. PRAY. At the very least...want to sign another lease. Pray. Fingers. Crossed.

Maria and Brian's baby A.J. is doing so well. He is home and happy and thriving. Prayers are always needed for this little dude....please think of him in your prayers.

Cheers my naughty monkeys.