Years

Everyday Ava and I go for a walk. We bring Barkley the dog. I love this dog, I do, but he is a huge pain in the arse around walk time. He starts starring at me with his gross pink lipstick woody. He also follows me so close that he runs into me all of the time and I step on his feet all of the time. Annoying to say the least. Oh and this same series of annoying behaviors starts at 4:59 pm...because he usually gets fed around 5 pm. Sometimes I really hate him. Ha.

Anyway. The real point of my post to to vent about his actions ON the walk. I can deal with the stupid pink lipstick and the following me around. However, I cannot deal with his crapping on the concrete sidewalk every time we go for a walk. Believe me. He knows he's supposed to poo on the grass. But he is so excited in the first 3 minutes of the walk that he drops trou and shits on the concrete. EVERYTIME. Every day I am trying to make a mad rush to the grassy area down the block from the house. (Insert here a picture of me, pushing a stroller, black lab at my side...running 100 feet to the grassy area.) Every day he craps on the concrete. And generally he picks a house where the homeowners are outside or sitting in their living room in plain sight. Sweet. And he is such a douche bag that he walks and poops at the same time, so he leaves a long wet trail of poo. I curse his name and grab the plastic bag. I can't reallly pick it up because it's so soft so I am more finger-painting with it with my plastic bag. I want to kick his ass every time...but again...remember...I have an audience with the homeowner being right there. I have been told the fine for animal cruelity to a dog is pretty steep....so anyway. Regardless, I am pretty sure I am going to bury this dog in my backyard. I swear every time he does this that this is the LAST walk I will take him on....but I take him everyday because I know it will add years to his life to get the exercise. The thing is....I am pretty sure his antics are TAKING years off my life. Growl.