I do...now and forever

Todd and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary a few weeks back. It was glorious. I fondly remember raising a glass *clink* on our 1st anniversary praying that we would either have a baby or at least be pregnant by our 2nd anniversary. *Sigh* We both teared up at Jax Fish House as we remembered that cheers/wish/dream and smiled when we spoke of our beautiful Ava Jean. She really is a blessing. We have such a blissful love and now we get to share it with Ava. Oh sweetie...I do....I do now and forever.

Our 4 year anniversary of DATING is this July 4th. Four years. Feels longer. Feels like we just fell in love. I heart you Todd. You are my inspiration. You are my love. You are a wonderful father to our baby. I am the luckiest.

Ava's blog

I have created a special blog just for Ava. Pictures of her. Videos of her. A log of her new adventures and accomplishments. I am for the most part going to keep this blog about the nutty things that happen in my life and head. Just an fyi.

Money Tree

Recently we bought a few new plants. Lucky for us, they had those annoying black fruit fly bugs in them. So...we got a bunch of those nasty ass bugs flying around. They also made a nest in my fish tanks...sweet. My fish were thrilled to have fresh flies to feast on...me...not so happy. They also made nest in several of my other house plants. SUCKY! I had tried several things and was almost rid of those lil bastards, and.....dun dun dun....Todd decided to spray the plants with RAID. Yes. Poison. Shockingly the POISON he sprayed on my plants...KILLED nearly all of my house plants including the beloved Money Tree. (I love you honey...but really...POISON?) Now, you NEVER get rid of or kill a Money Tree...NEVER...it's super triple dog dare bad luck. I was horrified. All of the leaves fell off the Money Tree and all was left was this ugly 3 foot stick....potted in a pot. I am not going to have some ugly ass stick in my house without leaves so I take the stick cut it down and put the roots in water...and said a prayer. Woo hoo! The Money Tree has sprouted and we are in luck peeps. Whew. Go Money Tree....make mama proud....oh and make me some money!

News

I think this picture is funny...not funny ha ha...funny odd. I am certainly not making light of the spill in the gulf...quite the opposite. I have been really bothered by the news lately. I think everyone has been. The oil spill in the gulf is heart breaking. I can't stop thinking about the people, families, businesses, animals and so many more that are forever changed. And there is no end in sight. Everytime I see a picture of another animal covered in that black mess...my stomach hurts. I wish I knew how I could help. Feeling helpless is such an isolating feeling.

The local news is all over the story of a woman from Longmont Colorado who suffocated her 6 month old baby boy. Huh? A story like that would have made me very sad before, but now that I am a mom, I feel devastated. I can't see her face, or the picture of their family with that sweet baby. This nut case mom thought her baby had Autism so she put a plastic bag over his.....I can't even type it...my hands are shaking. She did that and then left him alone and went to BED!!!!!! Growl. I know so many people who would LOVE to have a little baby...with or without Autism...and she does the unspeakable. The awful thing is that the baby's dad was sad but not surprised that she did that. WHAT THE? Shame on that dad for not protecting his boy. Shame-on-him! Now she is claiming that she has postpartum depression. I know that is a real thing, but it's not an excuse to NOT get help.
I am just appalled.
I am just heart broken.
I just want to kick that woman's ass.

One Hail of a day

Well well. We had one hail of a day yesterday. Pun totally intended. It was around lunch and Ava and I were headed to Target. I got pretty much all the way there and realized that I didn't have the thing I wanted to return. Duh. So I turned around and headed home. On my way home I stopped at the bank. In that time the skies opened up...in minutes it was pouring rain so hard I couldn't see and the hail...oh my the hail. I was about a mile for home and decided to make a run for it. (The bank that I was at was all over the news showing all of the damage to the employee's cars...yikes) Anyway. I fly home and get in the garage and that is right when the ping pong ball sized hail started. It was nuts. I knew that it wasn't a good idea to make the trip from the detached garage to the house so I got in the back seat with Ava to ride it out together. Then, I heard the tornado sirens. Hell. We are sitting ducks in a garage during a tornado. So I find a lawn chair cushion and put it over Ava in her carrier and make a run for it. I get the ever lovin crap beat out of me...hi..can you say bruises? I ran through ankle deep hail to get inside. I took this picture about 5 minutes before I made the run for it.



We get inside and hunker down for the rest of the afternoon in the downstairs bathroom. Me, Ava, Barkley (dog) and Sasha (cat). At about 1:50 pm, Barkley starts whining and pacing. Come to find out that 2 tornados touched down less than a mile from our house at that very moment. I guess moving forward Barkley will be my tornado siren. Scarey. All in all we weathered the storm. We didn't lose any windows...which is very lucky. All of our neighbors on both sides and across the street lost many windows. We lucked out because before I left for Target I opened all of our windows because it was 75 degrees and sunny...and didn't look like rain. Our screens are torn out and I had to clean a bunch of huge ass hail up...but no windows. And..windows happen to be the one thing our HOA doesn't cover. Phew. Other damage, my flower gardens, our deck has some quarter size dents in the wood (fixable) and our roof looks pretty beat up...but that is covered by the HOA. At the end of the day, no one got hurt.

Here are some pictures of the 2nd storm that blew through at 7 pm last night. Seriously? Ha. By the way...the hail had all melted from the earlier storm...so this is all new hail. Sweet.





I had nightmare last night about the storm. Before leaving for Target I wanted to go for our daily walk. We go about an hour around the neighborhood. Imagine if I was 15, 20, 30, or 60 minutes from home in that storm. My nightmare consisted of me trying to find a house to let us in from the storm and no one would. I then put my body over Ava in her stroller...only to be knocked out by baseball sized hail. In my dream....all I can see is black...and all I can hear is Ava crying in pain. It was horrrrrrible. I can still tear up thinking about it. Sigh.

Moving to Mexico

Dear President Obama:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family to Mexico and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.

18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!

Epic

Today Ava had a melt down at the grocery store of epic proportions. Epic. As I was checking out she started to warn me that something was starting to piss her off. Her fuse burned hot and fast and by the time I was paying she was screaming at the top of her lungs, pumping her little fists, sweating and red faced as a tomato. A crowd was gathering. I took her out of her carrier to hold her and bounce her to get her to stop. The sweet boy with down syndrome who bagged my groceries says he will help me to my car. I am carrying a screaming wiggling 7 week old who now has large alligator tears streaming down her face. People are staring. She is still screaming...and getting so loud she is losing her voice. I am trying to remain calm. We get to my car and I put her back in her carrier to load the groceries in the car. She is still screaming. The sweet boy who helped me to my car is now getting upset too and rocking back and forth like Rain Man saying over and over "Something is hurting her. Make it stop. Something is hurting her. Make it stop." Over and over and over. Ava is still screaming. And the sweet boy is now Rain Man. Good lord. I get the groceries in the car and quick like a bunny make a bottle for Ava. I am sitting in the back seat of my car feeding her. She stops crying....but is whimpering and giving me what-for with her moans for making her wait 5 minutes to eat. To add insult to injury, now Rain Man is convinced that I have hurt my child and he is walking around my car giving me dirty looks. I mean diiiirrrrty looks. I roll the window down and tell him that she has stopped crying and thanked him for his help. His eyes narrow and he glares at me and says, "Good. Baby stopped hurting." Alrighty then. The Mom of the Year Award goes to.....

Smiley Ava!

Now that I have figured out how to post videos....I will become borderline annoying posting them. They are more for me to remember...just so you know. (wink) Here's one smiley girl.

Hilarious

I am a quirky person. I like things the way I like them. I have odd likes and dislikes. I know that about myself. My friends and family know that about me. My husband...not so quirky. He's a straightforward normal dude. Except when it comes to this one thing...where the toilet paper holder goes. I have NO idea why...but he wants the toilet paper holder to be in the middle of the bathroom...totally in the way. OK. I admit that it's MY quirkyness that has made this an issue but in our house it causes some eye rolling on my part. He wants this thing so far from the toilet that if one were to run OUT of toilet paper mid-activity, one would have to get up OFF the toilet to reach the new toilet paper roll. While I was pregnant, I told him that over and over, and without fail, he would move it again. It's a game now really. I move it. He moves it back. I have to laugh. Finally while I was pregnant, I had to get kinda pissed....OK really pissed one night. I brought him into the bathroom and showed him how much of a pain it was to get my fat preggers ass off the toilet to get more paper. Whew. During the rest of my pregnancy the paper stayed where it should be....by the freaking toilet. Ava is 7 weeks old today. And....dun dun dun....this morning...I went in the bathroom to find it BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING BATHROOM. Grrrrr. Oh Todd. Here are the pictures. The first picture is where the toilet paper SHOULD be. The 2nd picture is where Todd moves it. Grrrrr. Hahaha.

What a sweet pea!

Here's a picture from our visit to the photo studio! She's 6 weeks old in this picture! What a sweet pea!

Bath time for Ava

If you can stand my singing...it's a cute video of Ava's bath. She loves her bath...but in the video she is looking at me like..."really? really mom?" Ha.

Recovery

My recovery from the c-section has been fairly easy. After surgery they sewed this line in my belly by around the incision site that gave me a steady dose of pain meds right at the point of incision 24 hours a day. I had to carry a bag of medicine with me everywhere. I was happy when they took that dumb thing out because I kept forgetting I had it and then yanking on the line sewn in my belly...that hurt more than not having the meds...I think. We left the hospital on Friday at 1 pm after I insisted on being sent home. They took my staples out of my belly and sent us on our way. I wanted to sleep in my own bed. We did so much better at home. I was tired of doctor's poking me and Ava at all hours of the day and night. I wanted peace. Home. Sweet. Home.

She's here!

And she's almost 5 weeks old. I have been a bad blogger again. I have been a wee bit busy. Ha. Well world, our beautiful daughter is here...Ava Jean. She was born on Tuesday, March 30th at 8:05 am. She was 6 lbs, 9 oz and 19 inches long. She's just a little peanut with a full head of brown hair. She has so much hair that people stop and talk to us about her hair everywhere we go. She is soooo beautiful and just the sweetest thing ever.

We had issues during the c-section and I lost a lot of blood. Everything turned out ok...but it was scary there for a little while. I noticed that it was taking a lot longer than I had been told it would take. I could hear a change in the tone of the doctor's voices. I was trying to listen to what they were saying and just then...the anesthesiologist came down by my face and started asking me questions about the baby's nursery. I said to him, "I don't mind answering your questions, but I am trying to listen to what they are saying over there." He said, that it was his job to ask me questions. Really? It's your job to ask me questions about the baby's nursery? Well. That was about the time he gave me a nice solid hit of morphine that pretty much knocked me out. Nice. One of the surgeons peered her head over the screen blocking my view and her face was covered with my blood and her eyes were as big as saucers. She literally looked scared. Wowsa. Made my heart sink. I saw a splatter of blood on the ceiling of the Operating Room and asked, "Who's blood is that on the ceiling?" And my doctor joked, "well it wouldn't be a very sanitary O.R. if it was someone's blood other than your blood." Ha. Great. Everyone is a comedian. Todd said the area looked like a freaking murder scene. I heard my doctor tell the students observing the c-section that this was not a normal amount of blood loss. Sweet. After they got Ava out, they showed her to me and then they rushed her to the NICU because she wasn't "pinking" up. She was very blue. I told Todd to follow and stay with the baby. He wanted to stay with me....but I wanted him with her. She needed him....and I was fine. They took me to recovery. I was there until way after 11 am. I had been told that I would be done and breast feeding the baby within the hour after surgery. Surgery was at 7:30 am. So...at 11 am I started saying "Where is my baby? Please take me to my baby! WHERE is my baby?" They told me I wasn't ready to leave recovery. I guess my big mouth got me somewhere this time because by 11:30 I was in my room and Todd was bringing Ava to me. Everyone else had held her....but me. It was my turn. When Todd layed her in my arms it was love at first sight. She was so alert and we just locked eyes. Man oh man...I love that little girl.

Afraid

Very soon our beautiful daughter will be here....so soon...in about 33 hours. Finally. Todd and I spent this weekend finishing up projects, taking naps and being alone....together. At lunch today he asked me what I was afraid of with the delivery (c section). I told him I am afraid the drugs will hurt the baby. I told him that I read on line that they tie my hands down during the surgery. I don't like that. I will probably tell them not to tie my hands down...unless they can give me a really good reason. I told him I am afraid of the pain. I am afraid that I will be so drugged up that I will miss the first moments of our daughters life. Then I had to stop talking...because I was making the wait staff at Hacienda Colorado nervous....because tears were streaming down my face. Ha. The is a funny thing about being SOOO pregnant. Everyone handles you with kid gloves. Mainly because I think they are afraid that I will flop on the floor and start having a baby right there....and they will have to help. Who knows. But it's funny and I giggle. If I were a meaner person, I might walk into the middle of Target and throw water on the floor and start to moan and shout "Uhhhh....the baby is coming." Ha. Just kiddin. I can't be the only pregnant woman who has thought of that. Ok. Maybe. I digress. I guess to really answer Todd's question. I am afraid I won't be a good mom. Maybe the fact that I am afraid that I won't...was my first test and proof that I will be. One thing is for sure...I KNOW Todd will be the best dad ever. I mean ever.

A note to my unborn daughter

To my dearest sweet pea,
Well the doctor tells me we will get to meet you on Tuesday, March 30th around 10 am. I can't wait to see your pretty face and kiss you all over. You may not know this but we had a tough time getting you here...and I can't believe you will be in our arms in 15 days.

Your dad and I talk about you all the time.

We dream for you.

We sing to you.

We laugh and tear up when we talk of you.

We wish the world for you.

We wonder who you will look like more. The ultra sounds show us that you have a ton of hair. We wonder if you will have blonde hair or brown hair? Blue or green eyes? Maybe brown?

We have a short list of names for you that both your dad and I love....we will name you once we meet you. Although, my darling, I have my favorite name. :) We want to meet you and make sure we give you a name worthy of you. All of the names are strong, feminine and will look fabulous and classic at the top of a resume. :)

Your room is all ready. I can't wait for you to see it. Your dad painted the walls bright pink and 2 shades of brown. He spent so much time painting the room...making sure that every edge was perfect. He did such a great job. So much love in this room. Everything is washed and ready for you. I just know you will love it.

You are one lucky little girl...there are a lot of people who are anxiously awaiting your safe arrival. In fact, your cousin Calea, who is 2 1/2, talks about you all of the time. Yesterday, she was carrying around a baby doll all day (which is not something she does very often) and when your Aunt Natalie asked her what her baby's name was, she answered "Emmy's baby". I get the feeling you two will be good friends.

Right at this moment I can feel you moving around and I get such joy from feeling you live and move.

Your dad and I feel blessed. Our cup runneth over.
Love you to the moon baby girl!

Love,
Mom

My 82nd Academy Awards Picks

Here are my Oscar picks. Feel free to use 'em....but give me credit where credit is due.

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Best Supporting Actress: Mo'nique
Best Animated Feature Film: UP
Best Foreign Film: The White Ribbon
Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino - Inglorious Bastards
Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Best Documentary Feature: The Cove
Best Original Score: Up
Best Original Song: The Weary Kind - Crazy Heart
Best Film Editiing: Avatar
Best Cinematography: The Hurt Locker
Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria
Best Art Direction: Avatar
Best Makeup: Il Divo
Best Visual Effects: Avatar
Best Documentary - Short Subject: China's Unnatural Disaster
Best Short Film: A Matter of Loaf and Death
Best Short Film Live Action: Kavi
Best Sound Editing: Avatar
Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

Hawaii

Todd's sister Lindsey is getting married on Saturday in Hawaii. We *obviously* aren't going. Could you imagine sitting on a plane for a 7 hour flight 9 months pregnant? Plus, I have been on travel restrictions since week 10 of my pregnancy....and I am fairly sure most airlines don't let you fly in your 9th month. Anywho. We are not going. Here's a picture of Lindsey in her dress and veil. Gorgeous huh? She made that veil. Quite crafty sis. I am very happy for them and wish we could be there.

Sleep

Or the lack there of....
Sleep.
I have no idea why God plays this cruel joke on pregnant women and makes it so tough to sleep in the weeks prior to giving birth. It's 2:12 am. I am wide awake. This has become my routine of sorts. I go to bed at a decent hour, toss and turn. I may fall asleep for an hour. I wake up wide awake and lay in bed until I finally just get up and get on the computer for something to do. *Sigh* It's not fair. I know that it's my "training" for when the little girl gets here...but I think better training would be to let me have the best sleep ever....and I think I will be more prepared. Ok. I know. I am not buying it either.

Here's an email I got a few days ago in the WEEEEE hours of the morning from one of the sites I visit. I had to laugh. I guess I am not alone.

Sleep disturbances during pregnancy
Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board
Last updated: February 2010

Wide awake at 4 a.m.? Is that watermelon where your belly used to be making it impossible for you to get comfortable? Or is heartburn, nausea, or a constant need to pee keeping you up? You're bound to have trouble sleeping at some point during your pregnancy, especially during the first and third trimesters. Don't despair: You can do something to improve the quality of your zzzs.

Read on to find out about common sleep stealers during pregnancy and how you can cope with them. When you're done, brush up on the basics of good sleep and learn about sleep aids and techniques that are safe to use during pregnancy.


• Can't get comfortable

• Exercise before bed keys you up

• Frequent urination

• Heartburn and indigestion

• Hunger

• Insomnia

• Leg cramps

• Medications

• Nausea

• Restless legs syndrome

• Sharing a bed

• Sleep apnea

• Snoring and congestion

• Vivid dreams

• Worrying about your baby

Check. Check. Double Check. I have all of the above. Thank-you-very-much.

Oscars

I just saw a promo that The Oscars are this Sunday. What? I am so unprepared. I usually have seen most if not all of the movies up for Best Picture. This year? Not so much. I think part of the reason is that there are so many movies up for Best Picture...but who knows. A girl friend of mine (who has moved to the east coast) used to host the best Oscar parties complete with prizes for picking the most winners for the night. I was in heaven. I still print out the winners sheet and make my picks each year...but it's not the same...just not the same.

Scare

I will say first off, I am ok, the baby is ok. We had a big scare on Monday. I started having contractions about 3 pm in the afternoon that continued until nearly midnight. I was having about 2-4 an hour and on the phone with my doc all night. If we had 5+ in an hour or started bleeding...then the doc would have had us rush to the hospital...which we never did....and they stopped. We saw the doc yesterday and we had another ultra sound (that was our 10th ultrasound). The baby looked fine and I wasn't dilated. One exciting thing we did get to see was that she has a full head of hair AND we saw her practicing the breathing motion...which made me LOSE it. :) Bawling. (Plus I was so tired hadn't slept at all...and being in "labor" for 8 hours)...but still....seeing her breathe was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Some more good news we saw yesterday is that I have been upgraded from placenta previa to "low laying placenta" which means if the placenta moves a little bit more we have a shot at a normal delivery. Although, I am really ok with the scheduled c-section the idea of giving birth the natural non-surgical way is appealing. Whatever happens...happens....as long as she is healthy. I am still sore from Monday...but happy all is ok.