Afraid

Very soon our beautiful daughter will be here....so soon...in about 33 hours. Finally. Todd and I spent this weekend finishing up projects, taking naps and being alone....together. At lunch today he asked me what I was afraid of with the delivery (c section). I told him I am afraid the drugs will hurt the baby. I told him that I read on line that they tie my hands down during the surgery. I don't like that. I will probably tell them not to tie my hands down...unless they can give me a really good reason. I told him I am afraid of the pain. I am afraid that I will be so drugged up that I will miss the first moments of our daughters life. Then I had to stop talking...because I was making the wait staff at Hacienda Colorado nervous....because tears were streaming down my face. Ha. The is a funny thing about being SOOO pregnant. Everyone handles you with kid gloves. Mainly because I think they are afraid that I will flop on the floor and start having a baby right there....and they will have to help. Who knows. But it's funny and I giggle. If I were a meaner person, I might walk into the middle of Target and throw water on the floor and start to moan and shout "Uhhhh....the baby is coming." Ha. Just kiddin. I can't be the only pregnant woman who has thought of that. Ok. Maybe. I digress. I guess to really answer Todd's question. I am afraid I won't be a good mom. Maybe the fact that I am afraid that I won't...was my first test and proof that I will be. One thing is for sure...I KNOW Todd will be the best dad ever. I mean ever.

A note to my unborn daughter

To my dearest sweet pea,
Well the doctor tells me we will get to meet you on Tuesday, March 30th around 10 am. I can't wait to see your pretty face and kiss you all over. You may not know this but we had a tough time getting you here...and I can't believe you will be in our arms in 15 days.

Your dad and I talk about you all the time.

We dream for you.

We sing to you.

We laugh and tear up when we talk of you.

We wish the world for you.

We wonder who you will look like more. The ultra sounds show us that you have a ton of hair. We wonder if you will have blonde hair or brown hair? Blue or green eyes? Maybe brown?

We have a short list of names for you that both your dad and I love....we will name you once we meet you. Although, my darling, I have my favorite name. :) We want to meet you and make sure we give you a name worthy of you. All of the names are strong, feminine and will look fabulous and classic at the top of a resume. :)

Your room is all ready. I can't wait for you to see it. Your dad painted the walls bright pink and 2 shades of brown. He spent so much time painting the room...making sure that every edge was perfect. He did such a great job. So much love in this room. Everything is washed and ready for you. I just know you will love it.

You are one lucky little girl...there are a lot of people who are anxiously awaiting your safe arrival. In fact, your cousin Calea, who is 2 1/2, talks about you all of the time. Yesterday, she was carrying around a baby doll all day (which is not something she does very often) and when your Aunt Natalie asked her what her baby's name was, she answered "Emmy's baby". I get the feeling you two will be good friends.

Right at this moment I can feel you moving around and I get such joy from feeling you live and move.

Your dad and I feel blessed. Our cup runneth over.
Love you to the moon baby girl!

Love,
Mom

My 82nd Academy Awards Picks

Here are my Oscar picks. Feel free to use 'em....but give me credit where credit is due.

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Best Supporting Actress: Mo'nique
Best Animated Feature Film: UP
Best Foreign Film: The White Ribbon
Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino - Inglorious Bastards
Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Best Documentary Feature: The Cove
Best Original Score: Up
Best Original Song: The Weary Kind - Crazy Heart
Best Film Editiing: Avatar
Best Cinematography: The Hurt Locker
Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria
Best Art Direction: Avatar
Best Makeup: Il Divo
Best Visual Effects: Avatar
Best Documentary - Short Subject: China's Unnatural Disaster
Best Short Film: A Matter of Loaf and Death
Best Short Film Live Action: Kavi
Best Sound Editing: Avatar
Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

Hawaii

Todd's sister Lindsey is getting married on Saturday in Hawaii. We *obviously* aren't going. Could you imagine sitting on a plane for a 7 hour flight 9 months pregnant? Plus, I have been on travel restrictions since week 10 of my pregnancy....and I am fairly sure most airlines don't let you fly in your 9th month. Anywho. We are not going. Here's a picture of Lindsey in her dress and veil. Gorgeous huh? She made that veil. Quite crafty sis. I am very happy for them and wish we could be there.

Sleep

Or the lack there of....
Sleep.
I have no idea why God plays this cruel joke on pregnant women and makes it so tough to sleep in the weeks prior to giving birth. It's 2:12 am. I am wide awake. This has become my routine of sorts. I go to bed at a decent hour, toss and turn. I may fall asleep for an hour. I wake up wide awake and lay in bed until I finally just get up and get on the computer for something to do. *Sigh* It's not fair. I know that it's my "training" for when the little girl gets here...but I think better training would be to let me have the best sleep ever....and I think I will be more prepared. Ok. I know. I am not buying it either.

Here's an email I got a few days ago in the WEEEEE hours of the morning from one of the sites I visit. I had to laugh. I guess I am not alone.

Sleep disturbances during pregnancy
Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board
Last updated: February 2010

Wide awake at 4 a.m.? Is that watermelon where your belly used to be making it impossible for you to get comfortable? Or is heartburn, nausea, or a constant need to pee keeping you up? You're bound to have trouble sleeping at some point during your pregnancy, especially during the first and third trimesters. Don't despair: You can do something to improve the quality of your zzzs.

Read on to find out about common sleep stealers during pregnancy and how you can cope with them. When you're done, brush up on the basics of good sleep and learn about sleep aids and techniques that are safe to use during pregnancy.


• Can't get comfortable

• Exercise before bed keys you up

• Frequent urination

• Heartburn and indigestion

• Hunger

• Insomnia

• Leg cramps

• Medications

• Nausea

• Restless legs syndrome

• Sharing a bed

• Sleep apnea

• Snoring and congestion

• Vivid dreams

• Worrying about your baby

Check. Check. Double Check. I have all of the above. Thank-you-very-much.

Oscars

I just saw a promo that The Oscars are this Sunday. What? I am so unprepared. I usually have seen most if not all of the movies up for Best Picture. This year? Not so much. I think part of the reason is that there are so many movies up for Best Picture...but who knows. A girl friend of mine (who has moved to the east coast) used to host the best Oscar parties complete with prizes for picking the most winners for the night. I was in heaven. I still print out the winners sheet and make my picks each year...but it's not the same...just not the same.

Scare

I will say first off, I am ok, the baby is ok. We had a big scare on Monday. I started having contractions about 3 pm in the afternoon that continued until nearly midnight. I was having about 2-4 an hour and on the phone with my doc all night. If we had 5+ in an hour or started bleeding...then the doc would have had us rush to the hospital...which we never did....and they stopped. We saw the doc yesterday and we had another ultra sound (that was our 10th ultrasound). The baby looked fine and I wasn't dilated. One exciting thing we did get to see was that she has a full head of hair AND we saw her practicing the breathing motion...which made me LOSE it. :) Bawling. (Plus I was so tired hadn't slept at all...and being in "labor" for 8 hours)...but still....seeing her breathe was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Some more good news we saw yesterday is that I have been upgraded from placenta previa to "low laying placenta" which means if the placenta moves a little bit more we have a shot at a normal delivery. Although, I am really ok with the scheduled c-section the idea of giving birth the natural non-surgical way is appealing. Whatever happens...happens....as long as she is healthy. I am still sore from Monday...but happy all is ok.

Hypocrisy

I have always found it hypocritical that certain people in the work place are held to different expectations on the hours they work. The difference is between those WITH kids and those WITHOUT. I realize that I am about to enter the world of WITH kids...so this frustration will cease for me directly....for the most part. However, I get irritated at the way I (and others) have been treated over the years in this arena. I remember a particularly butt-in-sky lady of a co-worker of mine said to me, "you should not advertise that you are leaving at 5 pm." Uh. Why? The other 3 sales managers have left to pick up their kids or go home. Why not me too? Because I don't have kids to pick up? I got here this morning by 8 am worked my butt off. Didn't take a lunch. Certainly didn't take the 8, 15-minute smoke breaks today that YOU took. Why can't I go home after a hard days work at a decent hour to be with my husband? Or go to the gym? Or walk my dog? My boss (at the time) each day arrived sometime around 9 am, took smoke breaks all day long, and would leave by 5 to go pick up her kids. So why can't I leave after a hard days work? Here's a funny story. I have a friend, an old radio friend, who works at the gym that our management gets "free" memberships to. He had told me over and over how my former management team works out for hours 3-4 times a week in the middle of the day. One manager actually plays on a basketball league that is for 2 hours long each session....3 days a weeks. Ironic....eh? I get the crap for working a solid day...and they are taking HOURS in the middle of the day to NOT work. Odd. I have been witness to other managers being excused from long meetings that were running late because the had to go pick up the kids. What if *I* had something I needed to do after work? Just because I don't have kids...I have to stay? Ah the hypocrisy.

Chivalry

Chivalry. I have been witness to many different kinds of chivalry in the past. But I didn't really appreciate it until now. Now that I am 8 1/2 months pregnant. Todd and I were at Bonefish Grill for a romantic Valentines date on Saturday. We were waiting for our reservation. The place was packed and I was standing in a corner with Todd feeling squished by the masses. Never before had I been more aware of the men sitting in the few seats there were available than that night. My back and my feet were killing me and I would have paid $20 to sit down. I kept a smile on my face anyway...how could I not smile? I was with Todd, my Valentine, and we were having a wonderful date. Sweet Todd asked me so many times if I was ok...and hugged me. Then, like a knight in shining armor, this one younger gentleman tapped me on the shoulder and offered up his seat. *Sigh* I said thank you several times and so did Todd. Chivalry. It's a good thing. That seat was worth every cent of the $20 I would have paid for it.

Pet Peeves

I am in a sassy mood again today...so I am going to list some pet peeves I have. I had so much fun with the list of people I could do without...a list of pet peeves is in order. Enjoy.

Drivers who don't use a turn signal.
People who read out loud what they're typing in an email or letter.
Kids who tease dogs through a fence.
Couples who sit on the same side of the booth when there is no one on the other side.
Parents who bring their young kids to R rated films.
People who sit next to you on public transportation or in the movies even when there are other seats available.
Noisy eaters.
Women who wear jewelry that clinks and clacks and makes noise when they're at their desk or keyboard.
Using speaker phones in public areas at work.
People with bad table manners.
People that snoop.
Drivers who won't turn right on red OR from a one way street onto another one way.
Double negatives.
Non hand-washers after using the bathroom.
Celebrities claiming to be environmentalists.
Tapping.
People who ride their bikes in the road when a sidewalk is right there.
People who don't send thank you notes.
People who don't cover their mouth while sneezing or coughing.
Jerks who take up 2 parking spaces.
Women who wear too much perfume.
People who don't know the difference between its/it’s, they’re/their/there and your/you’re.
People who leave shopping carts in the parking lot instead of taking them back to the corral.
The naming of celebrity couples (Bennifer, TomKat, etc.)
When people say 'supposebly' instead of 'supposedly'.
When people don't clear the microwave numbers.
When people don't RSVP to an invitation.
People who refer to themselves in the third person.
People that tailgate when you're driving.
People who don't look at you during a conversation.
People who put their feet up on the seat in front of them in movie theaters.
Athletes who point to the sky after scoring.
Bad breath.
Loud motorcycles.
People who spit on the ground and don't look first to see if anybody is around.
Men who refer to “babysitting” their own children.
Email with no subject in the subject line.
People who talk on their cell phone or text at the movies.
People who wear sunglasses indoors.

You might think that it must be pretty hard to know me. Well. I at least tell you when you are pissing me off. Ha.

Peyton a classless pouter?

I don't think so. Poor Peyton Manning has been getting berated for not shaking Drew Brees' hand at the end of the Super Bowl on Sunday. Sure, it would have been nice to see him embrace Brees and congratulate him. But probably 95% of NFL players walk off the field every week without bothering to shake hands.

The second after the gun sounds at the Super Bowl...tons of the player's family members, photographers, videographers, techy dudes, roadies, and flunkies swarm the field. I am guessing that Peyton didn't want any part of that scene...and I don't blame him....not one bit. And for obvious reasons, Peyton was in no mood to fraternize. Nobody works more or competes harder than Peyton. It's all for one reason...to win the Super Bowl... and he'd just seen that goal blow up in his face. Poor dude.

That doesn't make him a classless pouter. That makes him human.

Peyton trotted off the field...took a quick shower...put on a suit and headed to the press conference. He sat there for 11 minutes getting peppered with questions about why he and the Colts blew it.

It reminded me of a great Olympic moment...I remember hearing about... I've forgotten all the details, but a team from Greece or somewhere over there had just lost a bitter volleyball match. Some reporter from that guy's home country stuck a microphone in a player's face. "You are a disgrace to your country. Your comments?" The guy dutifully answered. I would have punched that reporter in the face and made him eat his microphone for lunch. Just sayin'.

Nobody quite said to Peyton, "You are disgrace to your city," but it was pretty-damn-close. He never got snippy. He patiently and politely answered every question, took responsibility for his mistakes and praised Saints cornerback Tracy Porter, whose interception will go down as his Bill Buckner moment. He's a better person than me because I might be pointing out that the interception should have also been pinned on receiver Reggie Wayne....who gave his route away and let Porter beat him to the ball. Again...I'm just sayin'. But before he disappeared, Peyton said he had one thing left to do.....he was going to call Brees and congratulate him.

I think Peyton Manning is a class act...and a much better person than me. I am way tooooo much of an ass after losing....they would do movies about my unsportsmanlike conduct. I'm just sayin'.

Crib Set

The baby girl's crib set arrived. Hooray! She will look pretty in pink!

People I could do without

I have been compiling a list of people that I would be thrilled if I never had to lay eyes on them again. I am in a sassy mood...so hold on.

In no particular order:
Gary Coleman
Tom Cruise
Lindsay Lohan
Paris Hilton
Perez Hilton
Carrot Top
P Diddy
Tim Tebow
Angelina Jolie
Kendra Wilson
Pam Anderson
Diana Ross
J. Lo
Kevin Federline
Brittney Spears
Kanye West
ANY of the Jacksons
Ashlee or Jessica Simpson
Donny and Marie Osmond
Vitamin Cottage lady in their tv commercials
Miley or Billy Ray Cyrus
Uncle Kracker
Rascal Flatts
Victoria Beckam
Suzi Orman
Levi (father of Sarah Palin's grandbaby)
Sarah Palin
Amy Winehouse
Paul Schaffer (David Letterman's band dude)
Spencer and Heidi
Real Housewifes of...pick one
Kathy Lee Gifford
Tara Reid
Lady Gaga
John and Kate Gosselin
Rosie O'Donnell
Chris Brown
Mariah Carey
Anyone on The View
Jake from "The Bachelor"
George W. Bush

That's probably good enough for today.

The kid next door

We grew up in the best neighborhood for kids. The street was laid out in a big circle, perfect for riding your bike round and round and round....I bet it was about 1/2 mile around. There were tons of kids on our block. And there was this super fun family with a rockin' pool down the street. We knew most every family on the block...in fact still to this day I can drive the old neighborhood and point to the house and know the family name. Next door to us lived this family with one boy. He was a shy boy who was pretty fat. We played with him once in a while...he was ok I guess. Now I was the kind of kid who hosted things like Pogo-Stick Tournaments for the neighborhood (no one is really shocked right?). I would have posters advertising the tournament and sign up sheets for kids to participate. Then I would create contest heats and judge the whole tournament which took place in the driveway of our house. Anyway. It was a fun neighborhood. Back to the fat kid next door. He "friended" me on facebook today. I had to laugh. I can't believe he wants to be my friend....but I accepted anyway. Here's the story. This one day he beat up my brother Bob. Not bad, but still. He was several years older than Bob and at that age years meant alot as far as size and strength. I was pissed off. I went over to his house, knocked on the door, invited his fat ass outside, and proceeded to beat the hell out of him. I spouted things in between punches like "NO ONE picks on MY brother and gets away with it". The bout gathered quite the crowd of neighborhood on-lookers. It was a scene. Needless-to-say I don't remember the fat kid next door ever coming out of his house to play with us ever again. Alas, this is why I am shocked he wants to be "friends" on facebook. Shrug. Oh well. Remember, no one picks on my brother and gets aways with it. :)

Crazy Craigslist

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Craigslist. We have bought and sold tons of stuff on Craigslist and I am a super fan. For example, we bought a side-by-side stainless steel fridge for $800 (the price for the same fridge at Home Depot was $2400). Nuff said. HOWEVER, I seem to attract some weirdos on Craigslist that I have to sift through everytime I use it. I have received text messages at 9:30 at night on a Monday saying they wanted to buy the item NOW, they have cash, I must meet them at 10 pm at ____ and ____. Ahem. Hell and no. As the night goes on the texts become more and more crazy. IGNORE. I get spammed pretty regularly with these get rich quick stuff or other random things. And then yesterday, I spend a good part of the day emailing back and forth with this woman who wants to buy my Treo Smartphone. Questions about the condition of the phone. Questions on the operating system in the phone. Questions. After all of this back and forth we agreed to meet today at the Aurora Mall food court by the Subway at 9:30 am so she could look at the phone and hopefully buy it. FINALLY. We only went back and forth with about 20 emails. I look up the Aurora Mall on line, figure out which entrance to go into for the fastest walk to the food court (I see they have a Cinnabon....yum yum) so I am ready to be rid of this phone. I am getting ready to leave this morning and she emails me that she spent part of the money she was going to use to buy the phone last night and wanted to know if I would take $40 instead of $65. Hell no bitch. *Sigh* So there are some crazy rude peeps on Craigslist...but I am not gonna stop using it. The real crap of the deal today....was that I realllly had my mouth set on gettin me some Cinnabon with my phone money. That makes me hate that girl even more.

Grocery store pedestrians

Somebody has got to explain to me why people think it's safe to walk into or out of a grocery store with absolutely no regard for the cars driving in the road in front of the store. Have you seen this? People are on their phones, pushing carts, wrangling kids or whatever with their heads down or looking straight ahead with NO awareness of the 4 tons of steel moving towards them. I know cars are supposed to yield to the people around the grocery store entrance. I KNOW THAT. But why are these grocery store pedestrians so trusting of the people behind the wheel? Drivers could be distracted or in a hurry and POW....dead grocery store pedestrian. Part II of this is what happened to the courtesy wave when a car yields for you to walk in front of their car? All is required is a little eye contact and a wave and everyone is safe...and the driver of the yielding car feels good....acknowledged for their "kindness". I'm just sayin'.

Chips

Hey. You. You know who you are. Ask yourself something. Were you there for me during my time of need? At my lowest time? Did you reach out to me to just let me know that you are there for me? C'mon really, were you there for me when the chips were down? Were you? If you were my true friend you wouldn't have to ask yourself those questions. If you let me down as a friend then why do you still read my blog? You don't deserve to know me through my blog...if you don't know me in life. You don't deserve to see how I am and what I am doing anymore. You should know the nasty things you said about me to your other "friends" would get back to me. They would tell me the things you said. You should know that. So as you take inventory of the people in your life, remember, the ones you think are your closest friends, really, aren't.

Save the Date

I love creative people. Check out the video on this page. It's the most creative Save the Date I have ever seen. Bravo. Bravo.

Name game

Todd and I have been playing the "name game" pretty much from the first day we found out we are having a baby. "What do you think of _____?" We found out that we knew a lot of whores and drunks in our years because every time one of us brings up a name ONE of us knew some dumb whore with that same name. Ha. Well then...cross THAT name off the list. Ha. Even after all of the name-crossing-off-the-list we have a list of 3 names that we both love. We won't name her until we meet her....but I certainly have my favorite name. Just last night we were playing the name game. Some guy on TV was talking about his sister who was the inspiration for all his successes, and her name was Jane. I said, "Jane, that's a pretty name." And Todd said, "Jane, you ignorant slut." (A la Saturday Night Live). Well. Cross it off the list then.

Pregnant

This is me at 27 weeks....so 3 weeks ago. BLISS!

Getting pregnant was really a heart breaking challenge. Looking back on it...makes my heart ache. The doctor visits. The constant blood draws. Black and blue arms. The waiting. The disappointment. The feeling of being "broken". The clomid meds that made me have night sweats and lose hours of sleep each night. The tears after starting my period AGAIN. Having to put a smile on my face and be the leader at work...when inside my heart was aching. The stress at work. The fact that my bosses rolled their eyes at me when I told them I had another doctor's appointment. (Keep in mind peeps, both of my (now former) bosses are WOMEN and MOTHERS). *Sigh*

Todd was my rock through all of this. It brought us closer together. He is the most amazing person I have ever known.

The light at the end of the lonely tunnel of infertility had many sources. FEBRUARY 2009: I started taking Clomid an infertility med that helps with ovulation. MARCH 2009: A dear friend suggested I start seeing an acupuncturist that her sister (now with 2 gorgeous kids) saw during her challenges with infertility. I LOVED my weekly sessions with the acupuncturist. It was so relaxing for me. APRIL 2009: I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. MAY 2009: The doctors found the right combination of meds to help treat my PCOS. JUNE 2009: We discovered my thyroid and TSH levels were wayyy out of whack. We got that leveled out and my TSH levels were back to normal. Between the PCOS and the Thyroid, I had 2 different doctors tell me it would take a miracle to get pregnant. I promptly changed doctors. Who needs that kind of negativity around? Sure as hell not me.

On Thursday July 23rd, my period was late. I was scared to get my hopes up....again. Todd and I hovered over the pg test. The test was defective. Sweet. Didn't give us a result. So on my way to work I swung into King Soopers to grab yet another box of tests. Those freaking tests are expensive. Sheesh. Anyway. I kept opening my drawer at work and looking at the tests in my purse. I decided to go ahead and pee on one to see what I would see. So in the 3rd stall on the left at my office I pee'd on the stick and waited. Positive. I shrieked. I floated back to my office with the positive test in my pocket. Later that night I paced the house waiting for Todd to come home. I wanted to tell him in person that we were going to have a baby. Like the dork that I am....I put a hamburger bun in the oven....and waited. He walked in the door. I laid the biggest kiss on that handsome devil and then pointed at the oven. "What is that?" I said. He looked and said, "Well, it's a bun. (Pause) It's a bun in the oven. (Pause) WE-HAVE-A-BUN-IN-THE-OVEN!!!!" Jubilance ensued and our lived changed forever that day....and lucky for us...will never be the same.