The hobbit

I am feverishly interviewing to fill two sales positions I have open. Until I find the right candidates....I have to cover the accounts lists left behind.....and be sales manager. Blech. I am trying extremely hard to find the right people and not just hire "the tallest of the midgets"....if you know what I mean. Anyway. Since I am now finding myself working several accounts...last Friday I was in a client's business picking up a check. This client is a jewelry store in Cherry Creek. As I sat waiting to pick up a check from the owner and convince him to stop advertising in the newspaper and put that money on MY station, I was pleased as punch to hear TWO customers in the store tell him they heard about his store by listening to my station (insert a picture of me curtsying....then pumping my fist in the air)....and no....I didn't plant the customers. :) Anyway. As I waited a series of the craziest shit ever happened. First, there was this woman who looked much like the scary "thing" in the caves in the movie Lord of the Rings..."precious". She was under 5 feet tall, visibly ON something, walked hunched over and her voice.....was spoooky. She had a bag of jewelry that was for sure not hers. She was trying to sell the gold and stones to the owner. Then 2 cops walk in carrying a sword, yes a freaking jeweled sword, and said to precious, "Oh geez, are you stealing jewelery again?" Precious answers, "Yessssss" (hissssss). The cops roll their eyes.....and WALK OUT of the store. WTF? Then there is this older couple in there to see the owner. They appear to be pretty well off. The man is white. The woman is Japanese and has a heavy Japanese accent. She has long pink fake nails. She looks at me and starts in. "NO baba....lady. Good lord, No baba. You vote for Baba? You? I thank you for allowing me in country. When I came here, the White House was WHITE, let's keep it that way." I am sure my mouth is hanging open. I don't say a word. Then she starts up again...."You American?" I say, "Yes". She says, "Thank you for allowing me to be in America. Let's keep the White House...white....NO BAMA." Seriously. What? I couldn't make this shit up.