Valentine

We stayed in for Valentine's Day last night.  It was a Monday.  And.  It was a Monday.  We decided to do take-out Sushi (my fav) for dinner last night.  I called and called our local Sushi joint to place our order, no answer.  It's just a few blocks away so I hopped in the car to drive over.  It was packed.  Every table was full.  None of the folks at the tables had food or drink.  Angry faces.  There was a line 20+ deep to be helped.  The phone was ringing off the hook.  It was loud and full of sounds of angry voices.  There was no love in the air.  Ha.  They only had 2 Sushi chefs, one gal behind the counter and one gal "waiting" on tables.  An A+ mess.  I left.  Sad.  Sushi is such a treat these days.  I had been looking forward to it for weeks.  I drove home with a scowl on my face.  Hungry.  All day today I can't stop thinking about what a total cluster f that restaurant was last night.  I keep running ideas through my head of what I would do differently if *I* owned a restaurant on this hallmark holiday of love.  I would have made a financial killing last night. 

Gamble

I love game shows.  Love them.  I watch them all of the time.  It's mind-candy to me.  I have to admit, there are a lot of jackasses on game shows.  I get so pissed when someone risks big money to "gamble" on winning more.  I scream at the TV "don't get greedy".  And alas, 99% of them do.  I just saw a guy on Who Wants to be a Millionaire today risk $50,000 plus to guess the answer.  GUESS!  What?  Winning $75,000 wasn't enough for you?  The guy guessed wrong and left with $25,000 and I pumped my fist at him in disgust.  *Snort* I want to ask these people if they were in Vegas with $50,000 in their hand, would they lay it ALL down on one hand of Black Jack?  Probably not.  Deal or No Deal is the worst in the greedy department.  Most of the time these rocket-scientists risk BIG money to win more.  They have an offer of over $100,000 but they risk it...lose it...and go home with less than they spent on the trip to LA to be on the show.  Or how about the dipshit on Price is Right who thinks a new hot tub, a year's worth of groceries, bbq and full deck is worth only $600?  I have to laugh.  So many people have no idea. 

Wow.  I am feeling snarky today.  Think I will go make snarky comments on facebook.  It's what I do.  (Kidding)

Carpets

Our renter just signed another lease with us!  Woo hoo!  I told her I would get her carpets cleaned in January.  I have been researching companies and found the most shocking and disgusting link.  They offer "Trauma" Clean Up. 

They list the services as:

Trauma Clean up Suicide Clean Up Meth Labs Blood Clean Up Decomposition Clean Up

Homicide Clean Up Unattended Death Trashed Houses Crime Scene Clean Up Utilities Service

Oh my God!  I don't even know what to do with this information.  So the guy who could come clean the carpets could have just left a crime scene.  *Sitting here in shock*

Today

My parents picked up Ava this morning for their regular Tuesday babysitting day.  I had to laugh, after they left I paced around the house for 30 minutes like I didn't know what to do with myself.  When I realized what I was doing I giggled...silly me.  I don't know why I was acting so lost.  I have planned my entire day and made a list of things I want to get done....no shock there. Ha.   I have spent my morning so far uploading pictures to Ava's blog, organizing photos on the computer, removing our address from the enormous amount of catalogs and phone books we get delivered to our home, and playing on the computer.  Successful morning so far. 

I am getting a full highlight and haircut at 1 pm at the new Aveda salon by our house.  Bliss.  I made a tragic mistake in November in regards to my hair.  I decided to be a "kitchen beautician" and I colored my hair myself.  Disaster.  I know better.  My roots turned this awful red and the rest just dried up.  Good work.  I know money is tight...but I have always found money to do my hair.  After the disaster, I went to the salon and had my hair fixed, which ended up costing more than if I had just had it done in the first place.  Dumb, right?  Ha.  While sitting in the salon getting my hair fixed, I realized that I had stopped buying many things for myself that make me feel good....because money is tight.  I stopped buying good lotion.  My skin was so dry I was so itchy.  The cheap crap I was buying was just not cutting it.  I hadn't bought good razors to shave in forever. My legs and arm pits were so beat up it was ridiculous.  I hadn't bought good hair products for styling and conditioning....my hair was a mess.  I hadn't been buying good products to clean and moisturize my face.  My skin looked like a teenager going through puberty.  My make up was so expired and icky, I just looked horrible.  All of these things lumped together was doing awful things for my self esteem which is not good.  I changed all that a few weeks ago with the help of my Christmas money.  I told Todd about this and he was so sad that I hadn't been buying these important things for myself.  He rocks.  He was the one that insisted that I get a FULL highlight and haircut.  I had been doing just a partial highlight and getting my hair cut at SuperCuts.  I have to remember to take care of me.  Makes me a better care-giver.  Can't wait for my appointment this afternoon.

Here's a picture of Ava and Uncle Bob from our wonderful visit to Salt Lake City.  We had a blast and Ava was a champ on the airplane.  There were many screaming kids, and none of the screams were from our girl.

Trip

Ava and I are flying to Salt Lake to see my bro and Rebecca this weekend.  Can't wait to see them.  Can't wait to spend quality time.  Can't wait to see their new gorgeous house.  OK.  I am traditionally not a good flyer.  Here's the story.  I had a panic attack on a flight once.  It only happened once, but once was enough to know that I must be medicated to fly.  The story is actually funny....now.  I had gone to Vegas with Katie and Christine for Christine's Bachelorette Party.  We drank way too much and slept way too little.  Our return flight was delayed so we sat at the airport for HOURS...realllly hung over and reallly tired.  We got on the plane finally and I started having a panic attack.  I couldn't breathe.  My throat closed.  I couldn't move.  I felt like I had a big fat sweaty dude sitting on my chest.  I wanted to jump out of the plane.  It was the scariest feeling ever.  EVER. My face was beet red the whole flight and I was shaking.  I finally had to lean forward and put my hands over my ears and sing the "meow, meow, meow" song to myself to get through it.  It was embarrassing.  It was awful.  As we left the airport Katie said, "Emily.  I love you.  But I won't fly with you to Mexico (for Christine's wedding) if you act like that.  Figure it out girl."  So.  I went to my doctor and got some nice anti-anxiety meds for the trip to Mexico.  Let-me-tell-you.....I was the SWEETEST person on that plane after taking my meds.  Funny.  Now.  OK.  I have flown many more times and each time I have medicated myself, but on headphones and zoned out with a cocktail or 4.  Emily is good flyer all doped up.  NOW...this weekend, I will be flying alone with a 9 month old.  No zoning out here.  I will be medicated....believe-you-me....but I have to stay engaged to care for Ava.  I am nervous.  But I will be ok.  Todd on the other hand is more nervous than me about my ability to fly with Ava alone.  Maybe he will need to be medicated too. 

Wish

My Wish for You in 2011


May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!

May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy

May the problems you had, forget your home address!

In simple words ...............

May 2011 be the best year of your life!!!

Christmas

We had an amazing first Christmas with our girl.  She was such a trooper with all of the festivities and looked damn cute in her Christmas dress.  It's heart warming to spend Christmas with family and having Ava this year made everything just more sparkly.  She loves the tree.  She rolls and rolls to get close to it.  She loves touching it.  I don't know where in the world she gets her need to touch everything.  Ha.  My nickname growing up (oh hell it still is) is FINGERS.  Ava got a ton of presents...now I just have to figure out where to put everything.  Life is grand.

My parents have Ava all day today.  Todd is picking her up after work.  I have the whole day to do ME things.  I am meeting Kathy and Lisa for happy hour tonight.  Basically a good day to recharge.  I really do cherish my alone time.  During the "single years" I often didn't see another person all weekend.  On my way home from work on Fridays, I would swing by the liquor store and Blockbuster to rent movies.  I consider myself to be such an extrovert ...so the fact that I require some alone time is something it took me years to figure out.  I am lucky to have such an amazing support system.  I have no idea how single moms do it.  None.

The neighborhood kids are out in full force today.  I love seeing kids playing outdoors.  I just went outside for a few minutes and watched them laugh and play.  Sometimes I have to remember to enjoy the little things....like riding a bike or laughing at the playground.

I was just going through all the pictures from Christmas.  I am really disappointed how fat I still look.  Blah.  I lost all of my pregnancy weight right away...but I had gained weight during the time of "trying" to get pregnant with all of the hormones and stuff.  I really need to figure out a way to get this bod back in shape.

Well....off to do more ME stuff.  Kisses. xxx

Tuesdays

This is the 2nd week that my parents have taken Ava for the day.  Once I find a job, they want to do a day a week of her daycare....so they are starting the daycare thing early.  Last Tuesday I had oral-freaking-surgery on my free day.  Not my idea of a free day to do what I want.  Ha. However, my plan moving forward is to use my Tuesdays to job search primarily.  I will set up networking lunches (I have one today).  Basically, I can work on the computer all day.  Make phone calls without the voice of my sweet girl in the background (not horrible, not super professional).  I can go wash my car.  May sound funny but Ava hates the car wash.  HATES.  The water hitting the car scares her and it's so loud.  Don't even get me started on the vacuum.  Anyway.  Tuesdays have become my day.  I wonder what kind of trouble I will get into today?

Grand

Life really has been grand lately.  Ava is getting so big and her personality rocks.  She is sweet, talkative and so loving.  I have noticed that she pats my arm as I carry her around.  Makes my heart soar.  It occurred to me that I pat HER on her back as I carry her.  Oh sweet. 

I am really looking forward to Ava's first Christmas.  We are putting up the tree tonight.  Yes, I wee bit late, but oh well.

I have kicked the job search into high gear.  I want to work part time doing something fun and enlightening.  Wouldn't that be a fun title?  Producer of Fun and Enlightenment?

Well my sweet girl is calling....

Civility

Is civility dead? Have people forgotten their common manners?  I am afraid the answer is yes.  Thank you cards - gone.  RSVP-ing to events - gone.  Please and thank you's - gone (thanks to texting and email - keep it short and sweet).  The list is staggering.   Be loud and rude and you will make the evening news.  Or if it bleeds it leads (referring to if it's a horrible story it will lead in the nightly newscast...sad).  Anyway.  The other day I stood in line behind a woman at the grocery store who was fighting on the phone with someone....loudly.  I watched at the checker politely asked her how her day was going.  The woman ignored her.  Instead she continued her fighting conversation on her cell phone slamming on the conveyor belt all of her items.  She swiped her card grabbed her bags and left.  Didn't say ONE word to the person helping her.  RUDE.  I felt inclined to apologize to the checker, who told me it happens all of the time.  What?  All of the time?  Beyond just cell phones, what else do we see out in the world to prove the fact that civility is dead?  How about how people treat each other on reality shows and television shows?  Or how about that douche bag Kenye West who interrupted Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech for an award?  How about that Senator that yelled out "You LIE" to the President (yes the President of the United States) during a speech?

The other day I thought I would test my theory that civility is dead.  I walked around the mall and grocery store and smiled at anyone who would look up at me.  Not many looked up from their phone or just starring at the floor in front of them.  But the ones that did look up....many of them gave me dirty looks.  Like, why are you smiling at me you bitch?  I laughed.  The younger people were suspicious the older folks smiled back.  SAD!  I am fearful that my daughter will grow up in a world where people don't know how to treat each other kindly....with civility.  Well one thing is for sure, I will teach Ava how to properly address people, say please and thank you, how to get attention in a positive way, how to write thank you cards, to RSVP and for goodness sake to get off her cell phone when she is in public.  It starts at home folks and I hope you will jump on the bandwagon because where this world is going is sad.

Prayers

Time and time again I am reminded why my path was to be with Todd.  During the "single" years countless times I would feel like God wasn't listening to me....He wasn't answering my prayers.  Back then, I would have a boyfriend who I thought was wonderful....and I would pray that we would be together forever.  And time and time again....things wouldn't work out.  I know now it didn't work out because I am supposed to be with my dear hubby Todd....he rocks the casbah.  So anyway as I mentioned I was once again reminded of why my prayers went unanswered...this weekend...at a party.  I saw an ex who I haven't seen in 10 years.  Long story short he broke up with me because he felt like I worked too much, I was too focused on my career.  Many times during the "single" years I wondered if I made the right decision. Well folks let's just say....I did.  Alex married the girl he hooked up with literally the WEEK we broke up.  His friends called her the "revenge f*ck" to me.  That made me laugh back then.  Anyway.  He and RF are friends with one of my friends.  Who knew?  Small world.  Alex has not made much of himself and supports his family by playing professional poker ON LINE.  What the?

MORE and MORE

OK.  Last night in bed we were sleeping.  We both heard a "PSSST" noise.  Todd says, "Em, did you hear that?"  I said, "Yes. damn."  Two seconds later another "PSSSST" right over our heads.  We both jumped out of our skin.  Not sure what to do.  I am starting to really freak.

More ghosts...boo.

So last night Todd put the baby to bed.  When he came downstairs he had this odd smile on his face.  He told me that when he was laying her in her crib, the Sleep Sound Machine turned on again by itself.  It has an on off switch, it's not activated by a button or touch or motion.  Sweet.  And this morning when I came downstairs and turned on the tv, the tv was tuned to channel 688.  A channel called Tranquility Music.  Sweet.  When I tried to change it off of that channel it kept trying to make my buy the Pay-Per-View movie Letters from Juliet.  I turned off the cable box...and back on....same thing.  Whoa.  For the record, our tv turns on to the last channel that was on when it was turned off.  I guarantee you Todd and I weren't watching Tranquility channel 688 before going to bed last night.  Boo.

Helicopter

There's a saying that parents that hover over their kids and over-protect them are called "helicopter parents".  I see it all of the time.  Last night on Facebook I saw that one of my friends was bragging because he sold all of his kid's fundraiser candy bars for him.  Raising the money is not the lesson here.  The true lesson is having the child learn to earn money, be responsible for a goal, practice presenting an item to the public and learning how to sell.  That parent was so proud of himself, and I say shame on you.  You took away several wonderful teaching moments from your kid.  What you DID teach him was that he doesn't have to work in this world, daddy will save him and do it for him.  I remember when I was a Girl Scout selling cookies.  I worked my little tail off selling those cookies.  I never won the most sales....not once.  I was 2nd place every year.  I won 2nd place to the same girl every year....whose parents sold them for her at their work.  She never sold a single box of freaking cookies.  I on the other hand was out every Saturday ringing door bells and selling those cookies.  I wonder where the 1st place cookie girl is now?  Probably living in her parent's basement.  Ha. 

Love

I was just looking at pictures of our wedding.  I love this one.  Todd is giving a toast and thanking my parents for the wedding.  I was so full of love and it gushed out all over the place.  He was so charming and amazing during his speech....just as he is everyday.  Thanks for choosing me.  I am the luckiest. 

Social Media

I am fascinated by Social Media....and quite frankly scared to death of it at the same time.  The voyeurism shocks me...and then it doesn't....it's human nature right?  That's why facebook is the phenomenon it is today.... right?  Anyway.  I saw it most at my 20 year high school reunion.  People I have never seen or spoken to in 20 years...(yet they are my friend on facebook) knew everything about me.  Most had never said even one word to me on facebook yet knew what I did for a living, what my daughter's name is, how many bridesmaids I had, who I still keep in touch with, how my siblings were doing...crazy. It was nuts.  So they had checked out my life without even making a comment.  I talk to so many people all the time who claim to be on facebook every single day, but never comment or post anything.  Odd right?  Part 2 of the things that shock me about social media is the sheer narcissism that runs wild in the social media world.  How arrogant of folks (including myself) to think that people want to know what I am doing, what I am think, how I feel or what music I like.  I post comments, status updates, pictures and other things on facebook all the time. Even this blog is laced with narcissism  Look at me!  Look at MEEEEEE!  Ha.  It's a crazy world out there now.  You don't need to leave the comfort of your home and still can feel "connected" with people.  Now THAT is what truly scares the crap out of me.  The lack of pure natural face to face interaction.  *Sigh*

The real inspiration behind this post is that 2 of my friends had a baby girl this week.  Everyone was so up in arms because they hadn't posted an update, announcement or pictures on facebook.  The baby is 7 hours old and her pictures aren't all over the Internet yet?  Made me giggle.  Now I am guilty of posting Ava's birth on facebook...I loved the attention.  But I had to laugh that everyone was soooo freaked that they hadn't posted....myself included.  Funny.  And to add insult to injury, we were all afraid to post on their wall CONGRATS for fear of stealing their thunder.  I had to laugh though, because the 2 people I was sure would steal their thunder....did.  Posted all over their walls CONGRATS before an "official" announcement had been made.  I mean, what if they hadn't gotten in touch with a special aunt yet?  She gets to hear of her birth from some loud mouth deejay?  Sad really.  It's a scary world.  Now I must run....a little girl is stirring from her nap.

Trifecta

We have been watching Mad Men on netflix.  We are on Season 2 about half way through.  The show is set in the mid 60s and is about a small, yet up-and-coming advertising agency.  They all smoke in their offices.  Drink all day long in their offices and during meetings and then all night long.  Woman are secretaries not managers.  Its all very 1964.  I giggle when I see similarities to radio and the ad business as a whole that I can relate to from my own career.  Anyway.  Currently on the show, a young secretary has just been promoted to a Jr. Copy Writer among a wave of all male Copy Writers.  A really big deal back in those days.  I love seeing a woman getting a shot.  Love it.  I am not going to jump up on a feminist soap box, I just like to see women get ahead. 

Watching the show makes me remember one of the reasons I started working for a former radio group.  I choose to work there because there were 3 women in the top 3 management positions at the stations...a trifecta of women.  I thought this was a wonderful thing....at first.  Especially since when I started in radio I was one of only a few female Dept Heads in radio.  In fact, I once had an old male program director tell me that when he started in radio if there was a woman in the radio station...she wasn't an employee...she was a hooker.  I told him that he must have a really good attorney.  I digress.  As I sit here thinking about my experiences working with the trifecta, I am saddened to realize that the trifecta didn't look out for their female counterparts at all.  In fact, I feel that they are harder on woman in their office than the men.  I can think of several ....ok...MANY woman who were ousted out, demoted and/or fired by no real fault of their own by the trifecta.  And ironically there are MANY sub-par men in that building still to this day working under the trifecta whom are able to fly under the radar.  Why?  You would think that women would look out for other women.  Not this bunch.  They have no tolerance for women.  You should hear how the radio market talks about the trifecta.  It's not pretty folks. It"s down right sad. 

Tough times

I feel like many people around me are having a tough time right now. My friend buried her son after a fatal car accident on Labor Day weekend. Two of my friend's dads are in the hospital with serious issues. My mother in law had 2 serious back surgeries last week and is in a ton of pain. My friend just had to put her dog to sleep today. My friend had a meeting with her bosses this morning at 10 am that she had a feeling was the end of her time at that job (radio sucks). My friend is having teenager issues. My friend can't buy a break health wise.  My friend just spread her dad's ashes and is struggling with his death all over again. My friend is having issues with a tenant that is involving court. Several of my friends are super sick with colds right now. My friend's 14 year old daughter had a tumor removed from her head and throat last week that was the size of a softball. They had to peel the skin from her face back to get to the tissue and bone effected by the tumor. She has lost a good amount of sensation in her face area and will need a full face reconstruction. Did I mention that she is 14 freaking years old and should only be thinking about what she is wearing to the Homecoming Dance. Some times I just don't understand why life hands us these trials??? Deep breath.  I have to remember a quote that I love....and repeat it over and over.  “I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.” - Mother Teresa

Ghosts

OK. I may be crazy. But I have witnesses.

When I lived in my downtown condo the land it was built on was an old burial ground that was supposed to be moved when the building and developments started. The story is (read link) that when the city was ready to build on that land and the families of the deceased were asked to move the bodies/graves, but few did. Most of the bodies were those of vagrants, criminals, and paupers...so they didn't get moved and the city built on top of their graves. I cringe when I see stories on the news of bodies being found like recently at the Denver Botanic Gardens. (Note link attached is from 2008, but it was the best and most complete story on it I could find right now). It just happened a few weeks back...again. They were digging to build a new structure and found bodies. DBG is 2 blocks from my condo. OK. Scene set. Here are some things that have happened to me....that "could" be ghostly encounters from years ago....and then again recently.

My brother Bob and I were playing board games at my condo. All of a sudden the sound on the TV went down to mute. We could see the volume display on the TV go down tick-by-tick. I say, "did you do that?" Bob says, "No, where is the remote?" We both look over and it's on the table across the room. Bob and I freak then notice lid on the trash cans is swinging back and forth and back and forth. He jumps up and tells me he is getting the eff out of there. I beg him to stay. He says he's freaked and wants to go home. Sweet.

Several times while sleeping in the condo I have sworn that I felt someone touch my face. I would open my eyes and jump thinking someone was there. I was alone.

Many times I would be sleeping and feel something jump on my bed, like a cat or a small animal. I would wake up and look for my cat and she wasn't there. My friend Kathy SWORE once that she saw a white cat sitting on my kitchen chair. She swears she saw it and then she blinked again and it was gone.

The day I was moving in with Todd, I was coming from the condo with one of the last loads. The glove box on my car flew open and all of the contents flew onto the passenger seat. Not just fell out...shot out of the glove box. I didn't hit my breaks or hit a bump. It just happened. When I got to Todd's I was unloading the stuff. I walked back out to the car parked in front of the house and the doors locked. I went back inside and said, "oh haha, funny, lock the car on me as I am walking up to it." He said, "Eh, Em, the keys are on the table, I didn't do that."

After I moved in with Todd we were working on the condo on weekends to get it ready to put it on the market. TWICE we came back the following weekend and every light in the house was on. I am veeerrrry careful to make sure I turn the lights off...and would never leave ALL of them on by accident.

Now things have been pretty quiet around our house for a while. Sasha the cat has always starred at things over my head (yes, only over MY head) and hissed and then ran away. She does that often and mostly when I am sitting in the living room. We have been just ignoring that for the most part. Until recently. More things have started up again.

Ava has a baby swing we keep in the livingroom. About 2 months ago I was feeding Ava on the couch and Todd was making dinner in the kitchen. All of a sudden the baby swing started swinging back and forth. The cat was upstairs. The dog was outside. No one touched it. And it was swinging back and forth and back and forth.

Ava has a painted picture hanging in her room of a white kitty and flowers. It hangs above her changing table. My grandpa A painted it for me when I was 10. Very sentimental. When she is laying on the changing table she often smiles up at the painting and coos like she is looking at someone. Todd was the first one to point that out to me. It's kinda freaky.

The car locking thing has been happening more often. Todd has even witnessed it. I could have a short in my locking system. I could I guess.

The other night we both were up with Ava. She was fussy and we were taking turns rocking her. All of a sudden the computer monitor came on in the baby's room and lit up the room with light. Todd was sure the computer was on "sleep" and Sasha hit the mouse. He went in the room and the cat was not in there.

This weekend, the radio on my bed side table turned on LOUD. It happened 3 times. The alarm was not set. It just oddly turned on....3 times.

Not sure what to do.

Years

Everyday Ava and I go for a walk. We bring Barkley the dog. I love this dog, I do, but he is a huge pain in the arse around walk time. He starts starring at me with his gross pink lipstick woody. He also follows me so close that he runs into me all of the time and I step on his feet all of the time. Annoying to say the least. Oh and this same series of annoying behaviors starts at 4:59 pm...because he usually gets fed around 5 pm. Sometimes I really hate him. Ha.

Anyway. The real point of my post to to vent about his actions ON the walk. I can deal with the stupid pink lipstick and the following me around. However, I cannot deal with his crapping on the concrete sidewalk every time we go for a walk. Believe me. He knows he's supposed to poo on the grass. But he is so excited in the first 3 minutes of the walk that he drops trou and shits on the concrete. EVERYTIME. Every day I am trying to make a mad rush to the grassy area down the block from the house. (Insert here a picture of me, pushing a stroller, black lab at my side...running 100 feet to the grassy area.) Every day he craps on the concrete. And generally he picks a house where the homeowners are outside or sitting in their living room in plain sight. Sweet. And he is such a douche bag that he walks and poops at the same time, so he leaves a long wet trail of poo. I curse his name and grab the plastic bag. I can't reallly pick it up because it's so soft so I am more finger-painting with it with my plastic bag. I want to kick his ass every time...but again...remember...I have an audience with the homeowner being right there. I have been told the fine for animal cruelity to a dog is pretty steep....so anyway. Regardless, I am pretty sure I am going to bury this dog in my backyard. I swear every time he does this that this is the LAST walk I will take him on....but I take him everyday because I know it will add years to his life to get the exercise. The thing is....I am pretty sure his antics are TAKING years off my life. Growl.