Christmas

We had an amazing first Christmas with our girl.  She was such a trooper with all of the festivities and looked damn cute in her Christmas dress.  It's heart warming to spend Christmas with family and having Ava this year made everything just more sparkly.  She loves the tree.  She rolls and rolls to get close to it.  She loves touching it.  I don't know where in the world she gets her need to touch everything.  Ha.  My nickname growing up (oh hell it still is) is FINGERS.  Ava got a ton of presents...now I just have to figure out where to put everything.  Life is grand.

My parents have Ava all day today.  Todd is picking her up after work.  I have the whole day to do ME things.  I am meeting Kathy and Lisa for happy hour tonight.  Basically a good day to recharge.  I really do cherish my alone time.  During the "single years" I often didn't see another person all weekend.  On my way home from work on Fridays, I would swing by the liquor store and Blockbuster to rent movies.  I consider myself to be such an extrovert ...so the fact that I require some alone time is something it took me years to figure out.  I am lucky to have such an amazing support system.  I have no idea how single moms do it.  None.

The neighborhood kids are out in full force today.  I love seeing kids playing outdoors.  I just went outside for a few minutes and watched them laugh and play.  Sometimes I have to remember to enjoy the little things....like riding a bike or laughing at the playground.

I was just going through all the pictures from Christmas.  I am really disappointed how fat I still look.  Blah.  I lost all of my pregnancy weight right away...but I had gained weight during the time of "trying" to get pregnant with all of the hormones and stuff.  I really need to figure out a way to get this bod back in shape.

Well....off to do more ME stuff.  Kisses. xxx

Tuesdays

This is the 2nd week that my parents have taken Ava for the day.  Once I find a job, they want to do a day a week of her daycare....so they are starting the daycare thing early.  Last Tuesday I had oral-freaking-surgery on my free day.  Not my idea of a free day to do what I want.  Ha. However, my plan moving forward is to use my Tuesdays to job search primarily.  I will set up networking lunches (I have one today).  Basically, I can work on the computer all day.  Make phone calls without the voice of my sweet girl in the background (not horrible, not super professional).  I can go wash my car.  May sound funny but Ava hates the car wash.  HATES.  The water hitting the car scares her and it's so loud.  Don't even get me started on the vacuum.  Anyway.  Tuesdays have become my day.  I wonder what kind of trouble I will get into today?

Grand

Life really has been grand lately.  Ava is getting so big and her personality rocks.  She is sweet, talkative and so loving.  I have noticed that she pats my arm as I carry her around.  Makes my heart soar.  It occurred to me that I pat HER on her back as I carry her.  Oh sweet. 

I am really looking forward to Ava's first Christmas.  We are putting up the tree tonight.  Yes, I wee bit late, but oh well.

I have kicked the job search into high gear.  I want to work part time doing something fun and enlightening.  Wouldn't that be a fun title?  Producer of Fun and Enlightenment?

Well my sweet girl is calling....

Civility

Is civility dead? Have people forgotten their common manners?  I am afraid the answer is yes.  Thank you cards - gone.  RSVP-ing to events - gone.  Please and thank you's - gone (thanks to texting and email - keep it short and sweet).  The list is staggering.   Be loud and rude and you will make the evening news.  Or if it bleeds it leads (referring to if it's a horrible story it will lead in the nightly newscast...sad).  Anyway.  The other day I stood in line behind a woman at the grocery store who was fighting on the phone with someone....loudly.  I watched at the checker politely asked her how her day was going.  The woman ignored her.  Instead she continued her fighting conversation on her cell phone slamming on the conveyor belt all of her items.  She swiped her card grabbed her bags and left.  Didn't say ONE word to the person helping her.  RUDE.  I felt inclined to apologize to the checker, who told me it happens all of the time.  What?  All of the time?  Beyond just cell phones, what else do we see out in the world to prove the fact that civility is dead?  How about how people treat each other on reality shows and television shows?  Or how about that douche bag Kenye West who interrupted Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech for an award?  How about that Senator that yelled out "You LIE" to the President (yes the President of the United States) during a speech?

The other day I thought I would test my theory that civility is dead.  I walked around the mall and grocery store and smiled at anyone who would look up at me.  Not many looked up from their phone or just starring at the floor in front of them.  But the ones that did look up....many of them gave me dirty looks.  Like, why are you smiling at me you bitch?  I laughed.  The younger people were suspicious the older folks smiled back.  SAD!  I am fearful that my daughter will grow up in a world where people don't know how to treat each other kindly....with civility.  Well one thing is for sure, I will teach Ava how to properly address people, say please and thank you, how to get attention in a positive way, how to write thank you cards, to RSVP and for goodness sake to get off her cell phone when she is in public.  It starts at home folks and I hope you will jump on the bandwagon because where this world is going is sad.

Prayers

Time and time again I am reminded why my path was to be with Todd.  During the "single" years countless times I would feel like God wasn't listening to me....He wasn't answering my prayers.  Back then, I would have a boyfriend who I thought was wonderful....and I would pray that we would be together forever.  And time and time again....things wouldn't work out.  I know now it didn't work out because I am supposed to be with my dear hubby Todd....he rocks the casbah.  So anyway as I mentioned I was once again reminded of why my prayers went unanswered...this weekend...at a party.  I saw an ex who I haven't seen in 10 years.  Long story short he broke up with me because he felt like I worked too much, I was too focused on my career.  Many times during the "single" years I wondered if I made the right decision. Well folks let's just say....I did.  Alex married the girl he hooked up with literally the WEEK we broke up.  His friends called her the "revenge f*ck" to me.  That made me laugh back then.  Anyway.  He and RF are friends with one of my friends.  Who knew?  Small world.  Alex has not made much of himself and supports his family by playing professional poker ON LINE.  What the?

MORE and MORE

OK.  Last night in bed we were sleeping.  We both heard a "PSSST" noise.  Todd says, "Em, did you hear that?"  I said, "Yes. damn."  Two seconds later another "PSSSST" right over our heads.  We both jumped out of our skin.  Not sure what to do.  I am starting to really freak.

More ghosts...boo.

So last night Todd put the baby to bed.  When he came downstairs he had this odd smile on his face.  He told me that when he was laying her in her crib, the Sleep Sound Machine turned on again by itself.  It has an on off switch, it's not activated by a button or touch or motion.  Sweet.  And this morning when I came downstairs and turned on the tv, the tv was tuned to channel 688.  A channel called Tranquility Music.  Sweet.  When I tried to change it off of that channel it kept trying to make my buy the Pay-Per-View movie Letters from Juliet.  I turned off the cable box...and back on....same thing.  Whoa.  For the record, our tv turns on to the last channel that was on when it was turned off.  I guarantee you Todd and I weren't watching Tranquility channel 688 before going to bed last night.  Boo.

Helicopter

There's a saying that parents that hover over their kids and over-protect them are called "helicopter parents".  I see it all of the time.  Last night on Facebook I saw that one of my friends was bragging because he sold all of his kid's fundraiser candy bars for him.  Raising the money is not the lesson here.  The true lesson is having the child learn to earn money, be responsible for a goal, practice presenting an item to the public and learning how to sell.  That parent was so proud of himself, and I say shame on you.  You took away several wonderful teaching moments from your kid.  What you DID teach him was that he doesn't have to work in this world, daddy will save him and do it for him.  I remember when I was a Girl Scout selling cookies.  I worked my little tail off selling those cookies.  I never won the most sales....not once.  I was 2nd place every year.  I won 2nd place to the same girl every year....whose parents sold them for her at their work.  She never sold a single box of freaking cookies.  I on the other hand was out every Saturday ringing door bells and selling those cookies.  I wonder where the 1st place cookie girl is now?  Probably living in her parent's basement.  Ha. 

Love

I was just looking at pictures of our wedding.  I love this one.  Todd is giving a toast and thanking my parents for the wedding.  I was so full of love and it gushed out all over the place.  He was so charming and amazing during his speech....just as he is everyday.  Thanks for choosing me.  I am the luckiest. 

Social Media

I am fascinated by Social Media....and quite frankly scared to death of it at the same time.  The voyeurism shocks me...and then it doesn't....it's human nature right?  That's why facebook is the phenomenon it is today.... right?  Anyway.  I saw it most at my 20 year high school reunion.  People I have never seen or spoken to in 20 years...(yet they are my friend on facebook) knew everything about me.  Most had never said even one word to me on facebook yet knew what I did for a living, what my daughter's name is, how many bridesmaids I had, who I still keep in touch with, how my siblings were doing...crazy. It was nuts.  So they had checked out my life without even making a comment.  I talk to so many people all the time who claim to be on facebook every single day, but never comment or post anything.  Odd right?  Part 2 of the things that shock me about social media is the sheer narcissism that runs wild in the social media world.  How arrogant of folks (including myself) to think that people want to know what I am doing, what I am think, how I feel or what music I like.  I post comments, status updates, pictures and other things on facebook all the time. Even this blog is laced with narcissism  Look at me!  Look at MEEEEEE!  Ha.  It's a crazy world out there now.  You don't need to leave the comfort of your home and still can feel "connected" with people.  Now THAT is what truly scares the crap out of me.  The lack of pure natural face to face interaction.  *Sigh*

The real inspiration behind this post is that 2 of my friends had a baby girl this week.  Everyone was so up in arms because they hadn't posted an update, announcement or pictures on facebook.  The baby is 7 hours old and her pictures aren't all over the Internet yet?  Made me giggle.  Now I am guilty of posting Ava's birth on facebook...I loved the attention.  But I had to laugh that everyone was soooo freaked that they hadn't posted....myself included.  Funny.  And to add insult to injury, we were all afraid to post on their wall CONGRATS for fear of stealing their thunder.  I had to laugh though, because the 2 people I was sure would steal their thunder....did.  Posted all over their walls CONGRATS before an "official" announcement had been made.  I mean, what if they hadn't gotten in touch with a special aunt yet?  She gets to hear of her birth from some loud mouth deejay?  Sad really.  It's a scary world.  Now I must run....a little girl is stirring from her nap.

Trifecta

We have been watching Mad Men on netflix.  We are on Season 2 about half way through.  The show is set in the mid 60s and is about a small, yet up-and-coming advertising agency.  They all smoke in their offices.  Drink all day long in their offices and during meetings and then all night long.  Woman are secretaries not managers.  Its all very 1964.  I giggle when I see similarities to radio and the ad business as a whole that I can relate to from my own career.  Anyway.  Currently on the show, a young secretary has just been promoted to a Jr. Copy Writer among a wave of all male Copy Writers.  A really big deal back in those days.  I love seeing a woman getting a shot.  Love it.  I am not going to jump up on a feminist soap box, I just like to see women get ahead. 

Watching the show makes me remember one of the reasons I started working for a former radio group.  I choose to work there because there were 3 women in the top 3 management positions at the stations...a trifecta of women.  I thought this was a wonderful thing....at first.  Especially since when I started in radio I was one of only a few female Dept Heads in radio.  In fact, I once had an old male program director tell me that when he started in radio if there was a woman in the radio station...she wasn't an employee...she was a hooker.  I told him that he must have a really good attorney.  I digress.  As I sit here thinking about my experiences working with the trifecta, I am saddened to realize that the trifecta didn't look out for their female counterparts at all.  In fact, I feel that they are harder on woman in their office than the men.  I can think of several ....ok...MANY woman who were ousted out, demoted and/or fired by no real fault of their own by the trifecta.  And ironically there are MANY sub-par men in that building still to this day working under the trifecta whom are able to fly under the radar.  Why?  You would think that women would look out for other women.  Not this bunch.  They have no tolerance for women.  You should hear how the radio market talks about the trifecta.  It's not pretty folks. It"s down right sad. 

Tough times

I feel like many people around me are having a tough time right now. My friend buried her son after a fatal car accident on Labor Day weekend. Two of my friend's dads are in the hospital with serious issues. My mother in law had 2 serious back surgeries last week and is in a ton of pain. My friend just had to put her dog to sleep today. My friend had a meeting with her bosses this morning at 10 am that she had a feeling was the end of her time at that job (radio sucks). My friend is having teenager issues. My friend can't buy a break health wise.  My friend just spread her dad's ashes and is struggling with his death all over again. My friend is having issues with a tenant that is involving court. Several of my friends are super sick with colds right now. My friend's 14 year old daughter had a tumor removed from her head and throat last week that was the size of a softball. They had to peel the skin from her face back to get to the tissue and bone effected by the tumor. She has lost a good amount of sensation in her face area and will need a full face reconstruction. Did I mention that she is 14 freaking years old and should only be thinking about what she is wearing to the Homecoming Dance. Some times I just don't understand why life hands us these trials??? Deep breath.  I have to remember a quote that I love....and repeat it over and over.  “I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.” - Mother Teresa

Ghosts

OK. I may be crazy. But I have witnesses.

When I lived in my downtown condo the land it was built on was an old burial ground that was supposed to be moved when the building and developments started. The story is (read link) that when the city was ready to build on that land and the families of the deceased were asked to move the bodies/graves, but few did. Most of the bodies were those of vagrants, criminals, and paupers...so they didn't get moved and the city built on top of their graves. I cringe when I see stories on the news of bodies being found like recently at the Denver Botanic Gardens. (Note link attached is from 2008, but it was the best and most complete story on it I could find right now). It just happened a few weeks back...again. They were digging to build a new structure and found bodies. DBG is 2 blocks from my condo. OK. Scene set. Here are some things that have happened to me....that "could" be ghostly encounters from years ago....and then again recently.

My brother Bob and I were playing board games at my condo. All of a sudden the sound on the TV went down to mute. We could see the volume display on the TV go down tick-by-tick. I say, "did you do that?" Bob says, "No, where is the remote?" We both look over and it's on the table across the room. Bob and I freak then notice lid on the trash cans is swinging back and forth and back and forth. He jumps up and tells me he is getting the eff out of there. I beg him to stay. He says he's freaked and wants to go home. Sweet.

Several times while sleeping in the condo I have sworn that I felt someone touch my face. I would open my eyes and jump thinking someone was there. I was alone.

Many times I would be sleeping and feel something jump on my bed, like a cat or a small animal. I would wake up and look for my cat and she wasn't there. My friend Kathy SWORE once that she saw a white cat sitting on my kitchen chair. She swears she saw it and then she blinked again and it was gone.

The day I was moving in with Todd, I was coming from the condo with one of the last loads. The glove box on my car flew open and all of the contents flew onto the passenger seat. Not just fell out...shot out of the glove box. I didn't hit my breaks or hit a bump. It just happened. When I got to Todd's I was unloading the stuff. I walked back out to the car parked in front of the house and the doors locked. I went back inside and said, "oh haha, funny, lock the car on me as I am walking up to it." He said, "Eh, Em, the keys are on the table, I didn't do that."

After I moved in with Todd we were working on the condo on weekends to get it ready to put it on the market. TWICE we came back the following weekend and every light in the house was on. I am veeerrrry careful to make sure I turn the lights off...and would never leave ALL of them on by accident.

Now things have been pretty quiet around our house for a while. Sasha the cat has always starred at things over my head (yes, only over MY head) and hissed and then ran away. She does that often and mostly when I am sitting in the living room. We have been just ignoring that for the most part. Until recently. More things have started up again.

Ava has a baby swing we keep in the livingroom. About 2 months ago I was feeding Ava on the couch and Todd was making dinner in the kitchen. All of a sudden the baby swing started swinging back and forth. The cat was upstairs. The dog was outside. No one touched it. And it was swinging back and forth and back and forth.

Ava has a painted picture hanging in her room of a white kitty and flowers. It hangs above her changing table. My grandpa A painted it for me when I was 10. Very sentimental. When she is laying on the changing table she often smiles up at the painting and coos like she is looking at someone. Todd was the first one to point that out to me. It's kinda freaky.

The car locking thing has been happening more often. Todd has even witnessed it. I could have a short in my locking system. I could I guess.

The other night we both were up with Ava. She was fussy and we were taking turns rocking her. All of a sudden the computer monitor came on in the baby's room and lit up the room with light. Todd was sure the computer was on "sleep" and Sasha hit the mouse. He went in the room and the cat was not in there.

This weekend, the radio on my bed side table turned on LOUD. It happened 3 times. The alarm was not set. It just oddly turned on....3 times.

Not sure what to do.

Years

Everyday Ava and I go for a walk. We bring Barkley the dog. I love this dog, I do, but he is a huge pain in the arse around walk time. He starts starring at me with his gross pink lipstick woody. He also follows me so close that he runs into me all of the time and I step on his feet all of the time. Annoying to say the least. Oh and this same series of annoying behaviors starts at 4:59 pm...because he usually gets fed around 5 pm. Sometimes I really hate him. Ha.

Anyway. The real point of my post to to vent about his actions ON the walk. I can deal with the stupid pink lipstick and the following me around. However, I cannot deal with his crapping on the concrete sidewalk every time we go for a walk. Believe me. He knows he's supposed to poo on the grass. But he is so excited in the first 3 minutes of the walk that he drops trou and shits on the concrete. EVERYTIME. Every day I am trying to make a mad rush to the grassy area down the block from the house. (Insert here a picture of me, pushing a stroller, black lab at my side...running 100 feet to the grassy area.) Every day he craps on the concrete. And generally he picks a house where the homeowners are outside or sitting in their living room in plain sight. Sweet. And he is such a douche bag that he walks and poops at the same time, so he leaves a long wet trail of poo. I curse his name and grab the plastic bag. I can't reallly pick it up because it's so soft so I am more finger-painting with it with my plastic bag. I want to kick his ass every time...but again...remember...I have an audience with the homeowner being right there. I have been told the fine for animal cruelity to a dog is pretty steep....so anyway. Regardless, I am pretty sure I am going to bury this dog in my backyard. I swear every time he does this that this is the LAST walk I will take him on....but I take him everyday because I know it will add years to his life to get the exercise. The thing is....I am pretty sure his antics are TAKING years off my life. Growl.

Normal

Normal is good. Our lives are back to normal after 4 days of a hot mess. I had my 20th high school reunion on Friday (picture of us before we left above). The reunion was in Lakewood and my parents were watching the lil monkey so we decided to let loose and party...then take a cab to my parent's house for the night. FUN! We got home on Saturday morning to find that our house was 91 degrees inside...at 10 am. It was supposed to be 102 degrees out that day....and more record breaking heat for the next several days. Sweet. After some investigation we discovered the AC was broken...not just off. Good. Freaking. Lord. HOT. The picnic portion of the reunion was later that afternoon and after spending several very uncomfortable hours in our 91 degree home....we got a hotel room down the street and headed to the pool. We never made it to the picnic part of the reunion. Who cares. It was Ava's first time in a pool....and that was fun.

She loved it and will soon be my little fishy I am sure of it. Anyway. Long story short we spent the next 3 days shuttling ourselves from one air conditioned house to another...and shuttling our pets along too. It was just nutty hot in this house. I know alot of people live without AC...but we don't. Not with a 3 month old. Even our pets were pissed off. But we are back home today and the AC is working. Hooray. All is normal again. But this family is tired. Ava has napped off and on all day. Barkley the dog did not even ask for a walk today (really really odd). And Sasha, the glorious black cat, is back to sunning her self in her window meowing at the birds on the roof. Normal. And normal is bliss.

Priorities

I have seen the movie Beaches about 100 times. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. I love Bette Midler. Meeting her was truly a thrill for me that I will never forget. I have always thought the movie was about two women and their friendship. And yes, the movie is about that. But as I watched the movie today with Ava on my lap I found new meaning in the movie. It's about priorities. Plain and simple. I watched each woman make different choices throughout their lives....and those choices were based on their priorities. CC Bloom, Bette's character, always put herself and her career first. She was a ladder climber. And yes, she was very successful....and yes...she found her career dreams. But she was also very alone. The part in the movie where she agreed to go spend the summer at the beach house with Hilary and Victoria was such a growing stage for her. She finally put someone else first. I cried. I looked down at my beautiful daughter smiling up at me and cried. Priorities are the center of our lives people. My priorities now are Todd and Ava....OUR family. And...I am happy.

20

Both Todd and I are attending our 20 year high school reunions in July. Two weekends of reunions. Wow. It's been 20 years since we graduated from high school. Wow.

We told Todd's dad this weekend about the upcoming reunions and he nearly fell off his chair, "I can't be the father of someone who is going to their 20 year high school reunion, no way." We all laughed. I didn't feel so old after he said that.

I am on the planning committee for my reunion. At my school, the administration instructed the Homecoming Queen, Class President and Head Cheerleader that they were responsible for planning the reunions. I was Homecoming Queen. Blah blah blah. Anyway. (I was Prom Queen too...boyah!) Just kidding. No really I was. I was kidding about the boyah. Anyway. At the last meeting I felt like no time had passed since high school based on the behavior of the committee members. Background to this story is this...we did not hire a 3rd party reunion company to plan the reunion. The reasoning was to keep the costs low. Plain and simple. We are relying on word of mouth, flyers at our high school for grads who call for information, ads placed in our local newspaper, and social networking like Classmates.com, Facebook and google to get the word out and find people. We are doing OK...not great... at finding people. OK back to the story. At the last meeting one of the committee members actually said out loud, "well I am only looking for the people I care to see, I don't have time to look for everyone." I said, "so you are only looking for the popular kids?" To which she replied, "yes." I puked in my mouth and found a way to excuse myself from the meeting. Horrified. Some things never change. So I am trying to spend a little time each day looking for the non-looked-for people. I am having some luck. I hope they never know that I looked for them because I figured no one else on the committee would. Sad.

I do...now and forever

Todd and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary a few weeks back. It was glorious. I fondly remember raising a glass *clink* on our 1st anniversary praying that we would either have a baby or at least be pregnant by our 2nd anniversary. *Sigh* We both teared up at Jax Fish House as we remembered that cheers/wish/dream and smiled when we spoke of our beautiful Ava Jean. She really is a blessing. We have such a blissful love and now we get to share it with Ava. Oh sweetie...I do....I do now and forever.

Our 4 year anniversary of DATING is this July 4th. Four years. Feels longer. Feels like we just fell in love. I heart you Todd. You are my inspiration. You are my love. You are a wonderful father to our baby. I am the luckiest.

Ava's blog

I have created a special blog just for Ava. Pictures of her. Videos of her. A log of her new adventures and accomplishments. I am for the most part going to keep this blog about the nutty things that happen in my life and head. Just an fyi.

Money Tree

Recently we bought a few new plants. Lucky for us, they had those annoying black fruit fly bugs in them. So...we got a bunch of those nasty ass bugs flying around. They also made a nest in my fish tanks...sweet. My fish were thrilled to have fresh flies to feast on...me...not so happy. They also made nest in several of my other house plants. SUCKY! I had tried several things and was almost rid of those lil bastards, and.....dun dun dun....Todd decided to spray the plants with RAID. Yes. Poison. Shockingly the POISON he sprayed on my plants...KILLED nearly all of my house plants including the beloved Money Tree. (I love you honey...but really...POISON?) Now, you NEVER get rid of or kill a Money Tree...NEVER...it's super triple dog dare bad luck. I was horrified. All of the leaves fell off the Money Tree and all was left was this ugly 3 foot stick....potted in a pot. I am not going to have some ugly ass stick in my house without leaves so I take the stick cut it down and put the roots in water...and said a prayer. Woo hoo! The Money Tree has sprouted and we are in luck peeps. Whew. Go Money Tree....make mama proud....oh and make me some money!

News

I think this picture is funny...not funny ha ha...funny odd. I am certainly not making light of the spill in the gulf...quite the opposite. I have been really bothered by the news lately. I think everyone has been. The oil spill in the gulf is heart breaking. I can't stop thinking about the people, families, businesses, animals and so many more that are forever changed. And there is no end in sight. Everytime I see a picture of another animal covered in that black mess...my stomach hurts. I wish I knew how I could help. Feeling helpless is such an isolating feeling.

The local news is all over the story of a woman from Longmont Colorado who suffocated her 6 month old baby boy. Huh? A story like that would have made me very sad before, but now that I am a mom, I feel devastated. I can't see her face, or the picture of their family with that sweet baby. This nut case mom thought her baby had Autism so she put a plastic bag over his.....I can't even type it...my hands are shaking. She did that and then left him alone and went to BED!!!!!! Growl. I know so many people who would LOVE to have a little baby...with or without Autism...and she does the unspeakable. The awful thing is that the baby's dad was sad but not surprised that she did that. WHAT THE? Shame on that dad for not protecting his boy. Shame-on-him! Now she is claiming that she has postpartum depression. I know that is a real thing, but it's not an excuse to NOT get help.
I am just appalled.
I am just heart broken.
I just want to kick that woman's ass.

One Hail of a day

Well well. We had one hail of a day yesterday. Pun totally intended. It was around lunch and Ava and I were headed to Target. I got pretty much all the way there and realized that I didn't have the thing I wanted to return. Duh. So I turned around and headed home. On my way home I stopped at the bank. In that time the skies opened up...in minutes it was pouring rain so hard I couldn't see and the hail...oh my the hail. I was about a mile for home and decided to make a run for it. (The bank that I was at was all over the news showing all of the damage to the employee's cars...yikes) Anyway. I fly home and get in the garage and that is right when the ping pong ball sized hail started. It was nuts. I knew that it wasn't a good idea to make the trip from the detached garage to the house so I got in the back seat with Ava to ride it out together. Then, I heard the tornado sirens. Hell. We are sitting ducks in a garage during a tornado. So I find a lawn chair cushion and put it over Ava in her carrier and make a run for it. I get the ever lovin crap beat out of me...hi..can you say bruises? I ran through ankle deep hail to get inside. I took this picture about 5 minutes before I made the run for it.



We get inside and hunker down for the rest of the afternoon in the downstairs bathroom. Me, Ava, Barkley (dog) and Sasha (cat). At about 1:50 pm, Barkley starts whining and pacing. Come to find out that 2 tornados touched down less than a mile from our house at that very moment. I guess moving forward Barkley will be my tornado siren. Scarey. All in all we weathered the storm. We didn't lose any windows...which is very lucky. All of our neighbors on both sides and across the street lost many windows. We lucked out because before I left for Target I opened all of our windows because it was 75 degrees and sunny...and didn't look like rain. Our screens are torn out and I had to clean a bunch of huge ass hail up...but no windows. And..windows happen to be the one thing our HOA doesn't cover. Phew. Other damage, my flower gardens, our deck has some quarter size dents in the wood (fixable) and our roof looks pretty beat up...but that is covered by the HOA. At the end of the day, no one got hurt.

Here are some pictures of the 2nd storm that blew through at 7 pm last night. Seriously? Ha. By the way...the hail had all melted from the earlier storm...so this is all new hail. Sweet.





I had nightmare last night about the storm. Before leaving for Target I wanted to go for our daily walk. We go about an hour around the neighborhood. Imagine if I was 15, 20, 30, or 60 minutes from home in that storm. My nightmare consisted of me trying to find a house to let us in from the storm and no one would. I then put my body over Ava in her stroller...only to be knocked out by baseball sized hail. In my dream....all I can see is black...and all I can hear is Ava crying in pain. It was horrrrrrible. I can still tear up thinking about it. Sigh.

Moving to Mexico

Dear President Obama:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family to Mexico and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.

18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!

Epic

Today Ava had a melt down at the grocery store of epic proportions. Epic. As I was checking out she started to warn me that something was starting to piss her off. Her fuse burned hot and fast and by the time I was paying she was screaming at the top of her lungs, pumping her little fists, sweating and red faced as a tomato. A crowd was gathering. I took her out of her carrier to hold her and bounce her to get her to stop. The sweet boy with down syndrome who bagged my groceries says he will help me to my car. I am carrying a screaming wiggling 7 week old who now has large alligator tears streaming down her face. People are staring. She is still screaming...and getting so loud she is losing her voice. I am trying to remain calm. We get to my car and I put her back in her carrier to load the groceries in the car. She is still screaming. The sweet boy who helped me to my car is now getting upset too and rocking back and forth like Rain Man saying over and over "Something is hurting her. Make it stop. Something is hurting her. Make it stop." Over and over and over. Ava is still screaming. And the sweet boy is now Rain Man. Good lord. I get the groceries in the car and quick like a bunny make a bottle for Ava. I am sitting in the back seat of my car feeding her. She stops crying....but is whimpering and giving me what-for with her moans for making her wait 5 minutes to eat. To add insult to injury, now Rain Man is convinced that I have hurt my child and he is walking around my car giving me dirty looks. I mean diiiirrrrty looks. I roll the window down and tell him that she has stopped crying and thanked him for his help. His eyes narrow and he glares at me and says, "Good. Baby stopped hurting." Alrighty then. The Mom of the Year Award goes to.....

Smiley Ava!

Now that I have figured out how to post videos....I will become borderline annoying posting them. They are more for me to remember...just so you know. (wink) Here's one smiley girl.

Hilarious

I am a quirky person. I like things the way I like them. I have odd likes and dislikes. I know that about myself. My friends and family know that about me. My husband...not so quirky. He's a straightforward normal dude. Except when it comes to this one thing...where the toilet paper holder goes. I have NO idea why...but he wants the toilet paper holder to be in the middle of the bathroom...totally in the way. OK. I admit that it's MY quirkyness that has made this an issue but in our house it causes some eye rolling on my part. He wants this thing so far from the toilet that if one were to run OUT of toilet paper mid-activity, one would have to get up OFF the toilet to reach the new toilet paper roll. While I was pregnant, I told him that over and over, and without fail, he would move it again. It's a game now really. I move it. He moves it back. I have to laugh. Finally while I was pregnant, I had to get kinda pissed....OK really pissed one night. I brought him into the bathroom and showed him how much of a pain it was to get my fat preggers ass off the toilet to get more paper. Whew. During the rest of my pregnancy the paper stayed where it should be....by the freaking toilet. Ava is 7 weeks old today. And....dun dun dun....this morning...I went in the bathroom to find it BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING BATHROOM. Grrrrr. Oh Todd. Here are the pictures. The first picture is where the toilet paper SHOULD be. The 2nd picture is where Todd moves it. Grrrrr. Hahaha.

What a sweet pea!

Here's a picture from our visit to the photo studio! She's 6 weeks old in this picture! What a sweet pea!

Bath time for Ava

If you can stand my singing...it's a cute video of Ava's bath. She loves her bath...but in the video she is looking at me like..."really? really mom?" Ha.

Recovery

My recovery from the c-section has been fairly easy. After surgery they sewed this line in my belly by around the incision site that gave me a steady dose of pain meds right at the point of incision 24 hours a day. I had to carry a bag of medicine with me everywhere. I was happy when they took that dumb thing out because I kept forgetting I had it and then yanking on the line sewn in my belly...that hurt more than not having the meds...I think. We left the hospital on Friday at 1 pm after I insisted on being sent home. They took my staples out of my belly and sent us on our way. I wanted to sleep in my own bed. We did so much better at home. I was tired of doctor's poking me and Ava at all hours of the day and night. I wanted peace. Home. Sweet. Home.

She's here!

And she's almost 5 weeks old. I have been a bad blogger again. I have been a wee bit busy. Ha. Well world, our beautiful daughter is here...Ava Jean. She was born on Tuesday, March 30th at 8:05 am. She was 6 lbs, 9 oz and 19 inches long. She's just a little peanut with a full head of brown hair. She has so much hair that people stop and talk to us about her hair everywhere we go. She is soooo beautiful and just the sweetest thing ever.

We had issues during the c-section and I lost a lot of blood. Everything turned out ok...but it was scary there for a little while. I noticed that it was taking a lot longer than I had been told it would take. I could hear a change in the tone of the doctor's voices. I was trying to listen to what they were saying and just then...the anesthesiologist came down by my face and started asking me questions about the baby's nursery. I said to him, "I don't mind answering your questions, but I am trying to listen to what they are saying over there." He said, that it was his job to ask me questions. Really? It's your job to ask me questions about the baby's nursery? Well. That was about the time he gave me a nice solid hit of morphine that pretty much knocked me out. Nice. One of the surgeons peered her head over the screen blocking my view and her face was covered with my blood and her eyes were as big as saucers. She literally looked scared. Wowsa. Made my heart sink. I saw a splatter of blood on the ceiling of the Operating Room and asked, "Who's blood is that on the ceiling?" And my doctor joked, "well it wouldn't be a very sanitary O.R. if it was someone's blood other than your blood." Ha. Great. Everyone is a comedian. Todd said the area looked like a freaking murder scene. I heard my doctor tell the students observing the c-section that this was not a normal amount of blood loss. Sweet. After they got Ava out, they showed her to me and then they rushed her to the NICU because she wasn't "pinking" up. She was very blue. I told Todd to follow and stay with the baby. He wanted to stay with me....but I wanted him with her. She needed him....and I was fine. They took me to recovery. I was there until way after 11 am. I had been told that I would be done and breast feeding the baby within the hour after surgery. Surgery was at 7:30 am. So...at 11 am I started saying "Where is my baby? Please take me to my baby! WHERE is my baby?" They told me I wasn't ready to leave recovery. I guess my big mouth got me somewhere this time because by 11:30 I was in my room and Todd was bringing Ava to me. Everyone else had held her....but me. It was my turn. When Todd layed her in my arms it was love at first sight. She was so alert and we just locked eyes. Man oh man...I love that little girl.

Afraid

Very soon our beautiful daughter will be here....so soon...in about 33 hours. Finally. Todd and I spent this weekend finishing up projects, taking naps and being alone....together. At lunch today he asked me what I was afraid of with the delivery (c section). I told him I am afraid the drugs will hurt the baby. I told him that I read on line that they tie my hands down during the surgery. I don't like that. I will probably tell them not to tie my hands down...unless they can give me a really good reason. I told him I am afraid of the pain. I am afraid that I will be so drugged up that I will miss the first moments of our daughters life. Then I had to stop talking...because I was making the wait staff at Hacienda Colorado nervous....because tears were streaming down my face. Ha. The is a funny thing about being SOOO pregnant. Everyone handles you with kid gloves. Mainly because I think they are afraid that I will flop on the floor and start having a baby right there....and they will have to help. Who knows. But it's funny and I giggle. If I were a meaner person, I might walk into the middle of Target and throw water on the floor and start to moan and shout "Uhhhh....the baby is coming." Ha. Just kiddin. I can't be the only pregnant woman who has thought of that. Ok. Maybe. I digress. I guess to really answer Todd's question. I am afraid I won't be a good mom. Maybe the fact that I am afraid that I won't...was my first test and proof that I will be. One thing is for sure...I KNOW Todd will be the best dad ever. I mean ever.

A note to my unborn daughter

To my dearest sweet pea,
Well the doctor tells me we will get to meet you on Tuesday, March 30th around 10 am. I can't wait to see your pretty face and kiss you all over. You may not know this but we had a tough time getting you here...and I can't believe you will be in our arms in 15 days.

Your dad and I talk about you all the time.

We dream for you.

We sing to you.

We laugh and tear up when we talk of you.

We wish the world for you.

We wonder who you will look like more. The ultra sounds show us that you have a ton of hair. We wonder if you will have blonde hair or brown hair? Blue or green eyes? Maybe brown?

We have a short list of names for you that both your dad and I love....we will name you once we meet you. Although, my darling, I have my favorite name. :) We want to meet you and make sure we give you a name worthy of you. All of the names are strong, feminine and will look fabulous and classic at the top of a resume. :)

Your room is all ready. I can't wait for you to see it. Your dad painted the walls bright pink and 2 shades of brown. He spent so much time painting the room...making sure that every edge was perfect. He did such a great job. So much love in this room. Everything is washed and ready for you. I just know you will love it.

You are one lucky little girl...there are a lot of people who are anxiously awaiting your safe arrival. In fact, your cousin Calea, who is 2 1/2, talks about you all of the time. Yesterday, she was carrying around a baby doll all day (which is not something she does very often) and when your Aunt Natalie asked her what her baby's name was, she answered "Emmy's baby". I get the feeling you two will be good friends.

Right at this moment I can feel you moving around and I get such joy from feeling you live and move.

Your dad and I feel blessed. Our cup runneth over.
Love you to the moon baby girl!

Love,
Mom

My 82nd Academy Awards Picks

Here are my Oscar picks. Feel free to use 'em....but give me credit where credit is due.

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Best Supporting Actress: Mo'nique
Best Animated Feature Film: UP
Best Foreign Film: The White Ribbon
Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino - Inglorious Bastards
Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Best Documentary Feature: The Cove
Best Original Score: Up
Best Original Song: The Weary Kind - Crazy Heart
Best Film Editiing: Avatar
Best Cinematography: The Hurt Locker
Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria
Best Art Direction: Avatar
Best Makeup: Il Divo
Best Visual Effects: Avatar
Best Documentary - Short Subject: China's Unnatural Disaster
Best Short Film: A Matter of Loaf and Death
Best Short Film Live Action: Kavi
Best Sound Editing: Avatar
Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

Hawaii

Todd's sister Lindsey is getting married on Saturday in Hawaii. We *obviously* aren't going. Could you imagine sitting on a plane for a 7 hour flight 9 months pregnant? Plus, I have been on travel restrictions since week 10 of my pregnancy....and I am fairly sure most airlines don't let you fly in your 9th month. Anywho. We are not going. Here's a picture of Lindsey in her dress and veil. Gorgeous huh? She made that veil. Quite crafty sis. I am very happy for them and wish we could be there.

Sleep

Or the lack there of....
Sleep.
I have no idea why God plays this cruel joke on pregnant women and makes it so tough to sleep in the weeks prior to giving birth. It's 2:12 am. I am wide awake. This has become my routine of sorts. I go to bed at a decent hour, toss and turn. I may fall asleep for an hour. I wake up wide awake and lay in bed until I finally just get up and get on the computer for something to do. *Sigh* It's not fair. I know that it's my "training" for when the little girl gets here...but I think better training would be to let me have the best sleep ever....and I think I will be more prepared. Ok. I know. I am not buying it either.

Here's an email I got a few days ago in the WEEEEE hours of the morning from one of the sites I visit. I had to laugh. I guess I am not alone.

Sleep disturbances during pregnancy
Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board
Last updated: February 2010

Wide awake at 4 a.m.? Is that watermelon where your belly used to be making it impossible for you to get comfortable? Or is heartburn, nausea, or a constant need to pee keeping you up? You're bound to have trouble sleeping at some point during your pregnancy, especially during the first and third trimesters. Don't despair: You can do something to improve the quality of your zzzs.

Read on to find out about common sleep stealers during pregnancy and how you can cope with them. When you're done, brush up on the basics of good sleep and learn about sleep aids and techniques that are safe to use during pregnancy.


• Can't get comfortable

• Exercise before bed keys you up

• Frequent urination

• Heartburn and indigestion

• Hunger

• Insomnia

• Leg cramps

• Medications

• Nausea

• Restless legs syndrome

• Sharing a bed

• Sleep apnea

• Snoring and congestion

• Vivid dreams

• Worrying about your baby

Check. Check. Double Check. I have all of the above. Thank-you-very-much.

Oscars

I just saw a promo that The Oscars are this Sunday. What? I am so unprepared. I usually have seen most if not all of the movies up for Best Picture. This year? Not so much. I think part of the reason is that there are so many movies up for Best Picture...but who knows. A girl friend of mine (who has moved to the east coast) used to host the best Oscar parties complete with prizes for picking the most winners for the night. I was in heaven. I still print out the winners sheet and make my picks each year...but it's not the same...just not the same.

Scare

I will say first off, I am ok, the baby is ok. We had a big scare on Monday. I started having contractions about 3 pm in the afternoon that continued until nearly midnight. I was having about 2-4 an hour and on the phone with my doc all night. If we had 5+ in an hour or started bleeding...then the doc would have had us rush to the hospital...which we never did....and they stopped. We saw the doc yesterday and we had another ultra sound (that was our 10th ultrasound). The baby looked fine and I wasn't dilated. One exciting thing we did get to see was that she has a full head of hair AND we saw her practicing the breathing motion...which made me LOSE it. :) Bawling. (Plus I was so tired hadn't slept at all...and being in "labor" for 8 hours)...but still....seeing her breathe was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Some more good news we saw yesterday is that I have been upgraded from placenta previa to "low laying placenta" which means if the placenta moves a little bit more we have a shot at a normal delivery. Although, I am really ok with the scheduled c-section the idea of giving birth the natural non-surgical way is appealing. Whatever happens...happens....as long as she is healthy. I am still sore from Monday...but happy all is ok.

Hypocrisy

I have always found it hypocritical that certain people in the work place are held to different expectations on the hours they work. The difference is between those WITH kids and those WITHOUT. I realize that I am about to enter the world of WITH kids...so this frustration will cease for me directly....for the most part. However, I get irritated at the way I (and others) have been treated over the years in this arena. I remember a particularly butt-in-sky lady of a co-worker of mine said to me, "you should not advertise that you are leaving at 5 pm." Uh. Why? The other 3 sales managers have left to pick up their kids or go home. Why not me too? Because I don't have kids to pick up? I got here this morning by 8 am worked my butt off. Didn't take a lunch. Certainly didn't take the 8, 15-minute smoke breaks today that YOU took. Why can't I go home after a hard days work at a decent hour to be with my husband? Or go to the gym? Or walk my dog? My boss (at the time) each day arrived sometime around 9 am, took smoke breaks all day long, and would leave by 5 to go pick up her kids. So why can't I leave after a hard days work? Here's a funny story. I have a friend, an old radio friend, who works at the gym that our management gets "free" memberships to. He had told me over and over how my former management team works out for hours 3-4 times a week in the middle of the day. One manager actually plays on a basketball league that is for 2 hours long each session....3 days a weeks. Ironic....eh? I get the crap for working a solid day...and they are taking HOURS in the middle of the day to NOT work. Odd. I have been witness to other managers being excused from long meetings that were running late because the had to go pick up the kids. What if *I* had something I needed to do after work? Just because I don't have kids...I have to stay? Ah the hypocrisy.

Chivalry

Chivalry. I have been witness to many different kinds of chivalry in the past. But I didn't really appreciate it until now. Now that I am 8 1/2 months pregnant. Todd and I were at Bonefish Grill for a romantic Valentines date on Saturday. We were waiting for our reservation. The place was packed and I was standing in a corner with Todd feeling squished by the masses. Never before had I been more aware of the men sitting in the few seats there were available than that night. My back and my feet were killing me and I would have paid $20 to sit down. I kept a smile on my face anyway...how could I not smile? I was with Todd, my Valentine, and we were having a wonderful date. Sweet Todd asked me so many times if I was ok...and hugged me. Then, like a knight in shining armor, this one younger gentleman tapped me on the shoulder and offered up his seat. *Sigh* I said thank you several times and so did Todd. Chivalry. It's a good thing. That seat was worth every cent of the $20 I would have paid for it.

Pet Peeves

I am in a sassy mood again today...so I am going to list some pet peeves I have. I had so much fun with the list of people I could do without...a list of pet peeves is in order. Enjoy.

Drivers who don't use a turn signal.
People who read out loud what they're typing in an email or letter.
Kids who tease dogs through a fence.
Couples who sit on the same side of the booth when there is no one on the other side.
Parents who bring their young kids to R rated films.
People who sit next to you on public transportation or in the movies even when there are other seats available.
Noisy eaters.
Women who wear jewelry that clinks and clacks and makes noise when they're at their desk or keyboard.
Using speaker phones in public areas at work.
People with bad table manners.
People that snoop.
Drivers who won't turn right on red OR from a one way street onto another one way.
Double negatives.
Non hand-washers after using the bathroom.
Celebrities claiming to be environmentalists.
Tapping.
People who ride their bikes in the road when a sidewalk is right there.
People who don't send thank you notes.
People who don't cover their mouth while sneezing or coughing.
Jerks who take up 2 parking spaces.
Women who wear too much perfume.
People who don't know the difference between its/it’s, they’re/their/there and your/you’re.
People who leave shopping carts in the parking lot instead of taking them back to the corral.
The naming of celebrity couples (Bennifer, TomKat, etc.)
When people say 'supposebly' instead of 'supposedly'.
When people don't clear the microwave numbers.
When people don't RSVP to an invitation.
People who refer to themselves in the third person.
People that tailgate when you're driving.
People who don't look at you during a conversation.
People who put their feet up on the seat in front of them in movie theaters.
Athletes who point to the sky after scoring.
Bad breath.
Loud motorcycles.
People who spit on the ground and don't look first to see if anybody is around.
Men who refer to “babysitting” their own children.
Email with no subject in the subject line.
People who talk on their cell phone or text at the movies.
People who wear sunglasses indoors.

You might think that it must be pretty hard to know me. Well. I at least tell you when you are pissing me off. Ha.

Peyton a classless pouter?

I don't think so. Poor Peyton Manning has been getting berated for not shaking Drew Brees' hand at the end of the Super Bowl on Sunday. Sure, it would have been nice to see him embrace Brees and congratulate him. But probably 95% of NFL players walk off the field every week without bothering to shake hands.

The second after the gun sounds at the Super Bowl...tons of the player's family members, photographers, videographers, techy dudes, roadies, and flunkies swarm the field. I am guessing that Peyton didn't want any part of that scene...and I don't blame him....not one bit. And for obvious reasons, Peyton was in no mood to fraternize. Nobody works more or competes harder than Peyton. It's all for one reason...to win the Super Bowl... and he'd just seen that goal blow up in his face. Poor dude.

That doesn't make him a classless pouter. That makes him human.

Peyton trotted off the field...took a quick shower...put on a suit and headed to the press conference. He sat there for 11 minutes getting peppered with questions about why he and the Colts blew it.

It reminded me of a great Olympic moment...I remember hearing about... I've forgotten all the details, but a team from Greece or somewhere over there had just lost a bitter volleyball match. Some reporter from that guy's home country stuck a microphone in a player's face. "You are a disgrace to your country. Your comments?" The guy dutifully answered. I would have punched that reporter in the face and made him eat his microphone for lunch. Just sayin'.

Nobody quite said to Peyton, "You are disgrace to your city," but it was pretty-damn-close. He never got snippy. He patiently and politely answered every question, took responsibility for his mistakes and praised Saints cornerback Tracy Porter, whose interception will go down as his Bill Buckner moment. He's a better person than me because I might be pointing out that the interception should have also been pinned on receiver Reggie Wayne....who gave his route away and let Porter beat him to the ball. Again...I'm just sayin'. But before he disappeared, Peyton said he had one thing left to do.....he was going to call Brees and congratulate him.

I think Peyton Manning is a class act...and a much better person than me. I am way tooooo much of an ass after losing....they would do movies about my unsportsmanlike conduct. I'm just sayin'.

Crib Set

The baby girl's crib set arrived. Hooray! She will look pretty in pink!

People I could do without

I have been compiling a list of people that I would be thrilled if I never had to lay eyes on them again. I am in a sassy mood...so hold on.

In no particular order:
Gary Coleman
Tom Cruise
Lindsay Lohan
Paris Hilton
Perez Hilton
Carrot Top
P Diddy
Tim Tebow
Angelina Jolie
Kendra Wilson
Pam Anderson
Diana Ross
J. Lo
Kevin Federline
Brittney Spears
Kanye West
ANY of the Jacksons
Ashlee or Jessica Simpson
Donny and Marie Osmond
Vitamin Cottage lady in their tv commercials
Miley or Billy Ray Cyrus
Uncle Kracker
Rascal Flatts
Victoria Beckam
Suzi Orman
Levi (father of Sarah Palin's grandbaby)
Sarah Palin
Amy Winehouse
Paul Schaffer (David Letterman's band dude)
Spencer and Heidi
Real Housewifes of...pick one
Kathy Lee Gifford
Tara Reid
Lady Gaga
John and Kate Gosselin
Rosie O'Donnell
Chris Brown
Mariah Carey
Anyone on The View
Jake from "The Bachelor"
George W. Bush

That's probably good enough for today.

The kid next door

We grew up in the best neighborhood for kids. The street was laid out in a big circle, perfect for riding your bike round and round and round....I bet it was about 1/2 mile around. There were tons of kids on our block. And there was this super fun family with a rockin' pool down the street. We knew most every family on the block...in fact still to this day I can drive the old neighborhood and point to the house and know the family name. Next door to us lived this family with one boy. He was a shy boy who was pretty fat. We played with him once in a while...he was ok I guess. Now I was the kind of kid who hosted things like Pogo-Stick Tournaments for the neighborhood (no one is really shocked right?). I would have posters advertising the tournament and sign up sheets for kids to participate. Then I would create contest heats and judge the whole tournament which took place in the driveway of our house. Anyway. It was a fun neighborhood. Back to the fat kid next door. He "friended" me on facebook today. I had to laugh. I can't believe he wants to be my friend....but I accepted anyway. Here's the story. This one day he beat up my brother Bob. Not bad, but still. He was several years older than Bob and at that age years meant alot as far as size and strength. I was pissed off. I went over to his house, knocked on the door, invited his fat ass outside, and proceeded to beat the hell out of him. I spouted things in between punches like "NO ONE picks on MY brother and gets away with it". The bout gathered quite the crowd of neighborhood on-lookers. It was a scene. Needless-to-say I don't remember the fat kid next door ever coming out of his house to play with us ever again. Alas, this is why I am shocked he wants to be "friends" on facebook. Shrug. Oh well. Remember, no one picks on my brother and gets aways with it. :)

Crazy Craigslist

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Craigslist. We have bought and sold tons of stuff on Craigslist and I am a super fan. For example, we bought a side-by-side stainless steel fridge for $800 (the price for the same fridge at Home Depot was $2400). Nuff said. HOWEVER, I seem to attract some weirdos on Craigslist that I have to sift through everytime I use it. I have received text messages at 9:30 at night on a Monday saying they wanted to buy the item NOW, they have cash, I must meet them at 10 pm at ____ and ____. Ahem. Hell and no. As the night goes on the texts become more and more crazy. IGNORE. I get spammed pretty regularly with these get rich quick stuff or other random things. And then yesterday, I spend a good part of the day emailing back and forth with this woman who wants to buy my Treo Smartphone. Questions about the condition of the phone. Questions on the operating system in the phone. Questions. After all of this back and forth we agreed to meet today at the Aurora Mall food court by the Subway at 9:30 am so she could look at the phone and hopefully buy it. FINALLY. We only went back and forth with about 20 emails. I look up the Aurora Mall on line, figure out which entrance to go into for the fastest walk to the food court (I see they have a Cinnabon....yum yum) so I am ready to be rid of this phone. I am getting ready to leave this morning and she emails me that she spent part of the money she was going to use to buy the phone last night and wanted to know if I would take $40 instead of $65. Hell no bitch. *Sigh* So there are some crazy rude peeps on Craigslist...but I am not gonna stop using it. The real crap of the deal today....was that I realllly had my mouth set on gettin me some Cinnabon with my phone money. That makes me hate that girl even more.

Grocery store pedestrians

Somebody has got to explain to me why people think it's safe to walk into or out of a grocery store with absolutely no regard for the cars driving in the road in front of the store. Have you seen this? People are on their phones, pushing carts, wrangling kids or whatever with their heads down or looking straight ahead with NO awareness of the 4 tons of steel moving towards them. I know cars are supposed to yield to the people around the grocery store entrance. I KNOW THAT. But why are these grocery store pedestrians so trusting of the people behind the wheel? Drivers could be distracted or in a hurry and POW....dead grocery store pedestrian. Part II of this is what happened to the courtesy wave when a car yields for you to walk in front of their car? All is required is a little eye contact and a wave and everyone is safe...and the driver of the yielding car feels good....acknowledged for their "kindness". I'm just sayin'.

Chips

Hey. You. You know who you are. Ask yourself something. Were you there for me during my time of need? At my lowest time? Did you reach out to me to just let me know that you are there for me? C'mon really, were you there for me when the chips were down? Were you? If you were my true friend you wouldn't have to ask yourself those questions. If you let me down as a friend then why do you still read my blog? You don't deserve to know me through my blog...if you don't know me in life. You don't deserve to see how I am and what I am doing anymore. You should know the nasty things you said about me to your other "friends" would get back to me. They would tell me the things you said. You should know that. So as you take inventory of the people in your life, remember, the ones you think are your closest friends, really, aren't.

Save the Date

I love creative people. Check out the video on this page. It's the most creative Save the Date I have ever seen. Bravo. Bravo.

Name game

Todd and I have been playing the "name game" pretty much from the first day we found out we are having a baby. "What do you think of _____?" We found out that we knew a lot of whores and drunks in our years because every time one of us brings up a name ONE of us knew some dumb whore with that same name. Ha. Well then...cross THAT name off the list. Ha. Even after all of the name-crossing-off-the-list we have a list of 3 names that we both love. We won't name her until we meet her....but I certainly have my favorite name. Just last night we were playing the name game. Some guy on TV was talking about his sister who was the inspiration for all his successes, and her name was Jane. I said, "Jane, that's a pretty name." And Todd said, "Jane, you ignorant slut." (A la Saturday Night Live). Well. Cross it off the list then.

Pregnant

This is me at 27 weeks....so 3 weeks ago. BLISS!

Getting pregnant was really a heart breaking challenge. Looking back on it...makes my heart ache. The doctor visits. The constant blood draws. Black and blue arms. The waiting. The disappointment. The feeling of being "broken". The clomid meds that made me have night sweats and lose hours of sleep each night. The tears after starting my period AGAIN. Having to put a smile on my face and be the leader at work...when inside my heart was aching. The stress at work. The fact that my bosses rolled their eyes at me when I told them I had another doctor's appointment. (Keep in mind peeps, both of my (now former) bosses are WOMEN and MOTHERS). *Sigh*

Todd was my rock through all of this. It brought us closer together. He is the most amazing person I have ever known.

The light at the end of the lonely tunnel of infertility had many sources. FEBRUARY 2009: I started taking Clomid an infertility med that helps with ovulation. MARCH 2009: A dear friend suggested I start seeing an acupuncturist that her sister (now with 2 gorgeous kids) saw during her challenges with infertility. I LOVED my weekly sessions with the acupuncturist. It was so relaxing for me. APRIL 2009: I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. MAY 2009: The doctors found the right combination of meds to help treat my PCOS. JUNE 2009: We discovered my thyroid and TSH levels were wayyy out of whack. We got that leveled out and my TSH levels were back to normal. Between the PCOS and the Thyroid, I had 2 different doctors tell me it would take a miracle to get pregnant. I promptly changed doctors. Who needs that kind of negativity around? Sure as hell not me.

On Thursday July 23rd, my period was late. I was scared to get my hopes up....again. Todd and I hovered over the pg test. The test was defective. Sweet. Didn't give us a result. So on my way to work I swung into King Soopers to grab yet another box of tests. Those freaking tests are expensive. Sheesh. Anyway. I kept opening my drawer at work and looking at the tests in my purse. I decided to go ahead and pee on one to see what I would see. So in the 3rd stall on the left at my office I pee'd on the stick and waited. Positive. I shrieked. I floated back to my office with the positive test in my pocket. Later that night I paced the house waiting for Todd to come home. I wanted to tell him in person that we were going to have a baby. Like the dork that I am....I put a hamburger bun in the oven....and waited. He walked in the door. I laid the biggest kiss on that handsome devil and then pointed at the oven. "What is that?" I said. He looked and said, "Well, it's a bun. (Pause) It's a bun in the oven. (Pause) WE-HAVE-A-BUN-IN-THE-OVEN!!!!" Jubilance ensued and our lived changed forever that day....and lucky for us...will never be the same.

Hello again Hello

Hello again hello. (Insert the voice of Lionel Richie singing this ballet.) At least that is the way I hear it in my head.

I don't want to declare that I am back to blogging...however I will say that I am going to post today. We will see if I post again sooner than 6 months. No commitment.

I don't know where to start. So much has happened.

We are pregnant. Weeeee! I am 30 weeks (aka 7 1/2 months) and due April 4th. We are having a little girl and just over the MOON about it.

I lost my job. Those rat bastards at my former work. Rat-freaking-bastards.

We got the first shipment of the baby furniture yesterday. The armoire will be here in a few weeks. Check out the pic. The dog insisted on being in the picture. Sweet Barkley. We still need to buy the mattress and bedding...but this is a good start. I had a realllly hard time starting to create our baby room. I worried that we would create this gorgeous baby room....and something would happen to the baby. You may think I am crazy. Hell. I am crazy. But I am a realist. Things still could go horribly wrong. However, I am at the place where I think, "let go and let God." I am not a religious freak....but in this case....that saying just works for me.

Those are the big things.