Teak

I love Craigslist.  Love it.  We buy and sell stuff on it all the time.  I think it's silly to pay retail for some things.  I just posted a rocking chair and Ava's musical jumper for sale.  We're not using it, time to get some money for it.  Anyway.  We are going to sell our Teak desk too.  Before we had Ava, our 2nd bedroom was an office/guest room.  Cut to today... Ava's room has all of her stuff...and also has this gi-norm-ous teak desk with our computer and printer.  She needs more room, we are going to buy a laptop.  Time to sell the desk.  I get online and start searching to get a price range for this teak desk.  It is really a gorgeous piece of furniture, but we don't have room for it...and I want a laptop.  I discover that this desk that WE bought on Craigslist for $150 is worth....a....lot....more.  I found it being sold for anywhere from $699 to $490....plus shipping.  Holy moly.  If you have time...google....Domino Mobler Mid-Century Modern Teak Desk.  Think we need to ask for more than $150 huh? 

J-O-B

I got a job.  Yes-sir-ree.  Doing marketing and fundraising at a local French school.  It's an event planning, marketing, social media, website, sales and sponsorship position.  Perfect.  Its 3 days a week (Tues, Weds and Thurs) and I am thrilled.  I will be taking French classes to become fluent again.  Kinda excited to practice my French again.  Kinda excited to wear something other than yoga pants everyday.  Kinda excited.

Birthday!

Today is Ava's 1st birthday.  I danced all around the house this morning singing, "Hey Shorty, it's your birfday, we're gonna party like it's your birfday!"  Ava laughed at first, but then I could see my antics were wearing thin on her and she started to furrow her brow at me every time.  Ha.  That reaction actually fueled my fire so I sung louder and longer.  If we can't embarrass our kids what good are we?  Ahhhh Ava.  I remember this day last year....I am so thankful for my sassy, sweet, beautiful, smart and amazing daughter.

OK...the tale of 2 mornings...

I just got back from dropping Ava off for her "trial run" day at daycare.  She will be there through lunch and naptime and I will go pick her up at 2 pm.  I feel awful doing it on her birthday...but sometimes.... timing just sucks.  I start my new job next week (I will post on that later) :)  Anyway. I cried as I was packing up her stuff.  I was a hot mess.  Sobbing like a 1st grader with a skinned knee.  Blech.  OK.  I got it together before Ava got up for the day (she loves her sleep).  I got her all ready and loaded up in the car.  I drove to the daycare and I could feel my hands shaking.  Sigh. I took her into Miss Olga's room.  Got her set up.  Kissed her goodbye....and slipped out the door.  I turned to run back in and grab her....and another mom saw/caught me.  I smiled, turned and rushed past her.  She said, "You know, it does get easier."  I BURST into tears.  I started telling her in a squeaky rambling voice that only dogs and dolphins could understand that today was my first drop off and today is her birthday and I start a new job next week and I feel awful doing her test run on her birthday and I can't believe I am crying I can't believe I am crying I can't believe I am crying.  Good freaking Lord.  I hurried past her and hopped in my car and cried and cried...that ugly cry where your face gets all red and distorted.  Yup.  That's me. I drove to the Starbucks down the street and then sat in my car.  I'm sure I looked like a psycho.  I started to drive home and turned around and drove past her daycare again...and again.  And then I could hear myself say outloud, "Emily, get your shit together, sheesh!"  And I drove home.  I pick her up in 3 hours and 50 minutes.  I bet they have an office pool at the daycare as to how many times I will call....and how long it will take for me to call the first time.  Pretty sure. 

MOD

I met some amazing people during my time at March of Dimes. I think the woman that affected me the most was Kim.  Kim gave birth to twins prematurely and lost both girls after days and weeks of struggle and fighting for their lives.  Their names where Addison and Makenze.  I remember the first time she came to a volunteer meeting at MOD after losing the girls.  She sat at the table and cried the entire time.....almost like it was the first time she had let loose.  She bawled in fact.  Right there in the meeting.  There were many hugs offered up....and she refused... she just wanted to be left alone and listen....and deal with her loss.  She wanted to help others to help heal her own heart.  She needed to cry.  She wanted to help raise money for research so another mother would never have to endure the loss she had lived.  No one cries alone in my presence...so I had to conduct the meeting with tears streaming down my cheeks the entire time.  Sigh. 

Kim and I got close quick.  She is my age and very cool...very hip...I love her.  I remember seeing her stand at our In Memoriam Of Wall at our big annual event...and I watched her as she quietly wrote the names of her daughters on pieces of paper and placed them gingerly on the wall.  She bawled.  I bawled from afar.  I waited for her to finish and hugged her as long as she would let me....I would have hugged forever.  Kim and her sweet hubs now have 2 daughters....gorgeous girls.  People who have never had a hard time getting or staying pregnant....or have never experienced the loss of a pregnancy...or worse yet...the death of a baby....really can't understand.  They try...but they can't. 

Jif

That Jif commercial where the boy makes his own lunch and then a lunch for his mom makes me crazy.  The mom says, "You made your own lunch!"  Then the boy says, "I made something for you too Mom.  The bus is here....I gotta go!"  OK.  What was the boy going to HAVE for lunch if he DIDN'T make his own....MOM?  The bus was there and he needed to leave.  The mom didn't get it done.  Sorry.  The ad agency for that commercial should be fired.  Every time I see it I shake my head.

Wind

Yesterday Ava and I went for a great walk.  It was sunny and 70 degrees.  Perfect.  We got about 3 miles down the trail....and ran into another parent out with his kids.  He said, "it's it gorgeous out.  I thought it was supposed to crazy windy today."  I agreed and we went on our way.  Just then.... it was like God said, "really?  I will show you wind! POOOOWWWW!"  Awful hurricane force winds kicked up.  Holy crap.  I had to walk/run uphill for 3 miles pushing a 20 lb kid in a stroller that is NOT wind resistant in head on wicked wind.  Ava was protected with the cover on her stroller...which by the way made the stroller even LESS wind resistant....but she was still not happy.  It took me 30 minutes to get home.  I was dripping with sweat and so tired.  Today my legs are not sore...just so tired.  What a workout.  Blah!  I hate wind.  So much for a nice walk....blech...wind.  Pffffff. 

Update

Oh my sweet Ava.  She is a few days away from being one!  She makes me want to be a better person.  She makes me smile and my heart soar when I am blue.  She has a heart of gold.  I love her so much.  She's cruising around the furniture and will walk any day.  She just cut 2 teeth.  And her favorite word is "daddy" (mine too).  She has 3 words "Daddy", "Mama" and "Doggie".  At this moment she just woke up from her nap and I can hear her calling me...."Mmmmmmmmmmama!"  "Mmmmmmmmmmmammmmmmma!"  Time to go kiss my girl.  xxxx

Daycare

I'm researching daycare options again.  I am getting close on a job I really want.  Now they have to show me the money.  I'm worth it.  Anyway.  Daycare is highway robbery.  Now get this - 2 days a week (my parents are doing one day a week of our daycare) is $190.  Ok.  That's $95 a day.  Really?  Full time day care is $265.  Now I may not be a math genius, but I do own a calculator.  That's $53 a day.  So full time is only $75 bucks more?  Now that is a bunch of malarky.  Don't they understand that part time people make much less?  MUCH less.  I could hire an in home nanny for that price....which we may do.  I have more research to do...but I am in the wrong business. 

Sun

It's supposed to be 68 degrees today.  Ava and I are gonna go for a walk in the sun.  Yay! 

We had such a busy weekend.  I went to Erin's baby shower.  She is having twin girls.  It was such a fun shower.  In the past...I have generally not enjoyed baby showers.  I have always tried to figure out why....maybe it's the silly shower games, the squealing women when every present is opened...or maybe because I soooo wanted to have a baby. I still don't know for sure.  I DO know that I had a great-fab-wonderful time at Erin's shower.  Yes, I have a baby now, maybe that is it.  But truly I think it was because it was hosted at a cool French restaurant.  The company was very nice.  And...I am so freaking happy for Erin.  Seriously....so happy.  Besides MY shower...I have loved this shower the most of all.  Good times.

After the shower, I hurried home scooped up my family and darted down to Littleton for my Grandpa Cheever's 89th birthday party.  Wow....89....I hope to be so lucky to live so long.  I love him so.

Sunday the fun continued with a brunch with the ex-radio-geeks.  Paul, Sharon, Katie, Christine, Sadie, Julie, Adam, Olivia, Max, Fizz, Sarah, Delilah, Todd, Ava...and me.  Of that group of ex-radio-geeks...only Adam still works in radio.  It was such fun and we laughed a lot.  It was fun to watch our kids all play together.  At one point I sat back and enjoyed the fact that we all have been friends for so long.  We have all seen so many different phases of our lives together.  Good friends. 

I feel blessed.

Reminder

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck 
(written after she found out she was dying of cancer). I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day be cause my hair had just been done. 


I would have sat on the lawn and not worried about grass stains. 
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. 

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.'

There would have been more I love you's.  More I'm sorry's. 

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it, and really see it. Live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!! 

Laptop

My sister let me borrow her laptop so that I can job search when Ava is sleeping.  I set up the wifi connection in our house and I am offffff!  I am so excited.  I spend 2 hours today searching and applying for jobs.  I have a 2nd interview tomorrow.  Fingers crossed.  I haven't been on a computer this long with Ava here...well...never.  It has been a good day.  I have gotten caught up on so much stuff.  I even found a mom's group by me and RSVP'ed for a play date for next week.  Ava really needs more social interaction with other kids.  I mean...I am one hellva playmate for her...but I always share and never push her around.  She needs to learn to play with other kids.  I am excited for the new things in our lives.  And...now I have internet access....I will be able to blog when I want.  I often think...I want to blog about this that or the other...and then forget.  Life is good.

Valentine

We stayed in for Valentine's Day last night.  It was a Monday.  And.  It was a Monday.  We decided to do take-out Sushi (my fav) for dinner last night.  I called and called our local Sushi joint to place our order, no answer.  It's just a few blocks away so I hopped in the car to drive over.  It was packed.  Every table was full.  None of the folks at the tables had food or drink.  Angry faces.  There was a line 20+ deep to be helped.  The phone was ringing off the hook.  It was loud and full of sounds of angry voices.  There was no love in the air.  Ha.  They only had 2 Sushi chefs, one gal behind the counter and one gal "waiting" on tables.  An A+ mess.  I left.  Sad.  Sushi is such a treat these days.  I had been looking forward to it for weeks.  I drove home with a scowl on my face.  Hungry.  All day today I can't stop thinking about what a total cluster f that restaurant was last night.  I keep running ideas through my head of what I would do differently if *I* owned a restaurant on this hallmark holiday of love.  I would have made a financial killing last night. 

Gamble

I love game shows.  Love them.  I watch them all of the time.  It's mind-candy to me.  I have to admit, there are a lot of jackasses on game shows.  I get so pissed when someone risks big money to "gamble" on winning more.  I scream at the TV "don't get greedy".  And alas, 99% of them do.  I just saw a guy on Who Wants to be a Millionaire today risk $50,000 plus to guess the answer.  GUESS!  What?  Winning $75,000 wasn't enough for you?  The guy guessed wrong and left with $25,000 and I pumped my fist at him in disgust.  *Snort* I want to ask these people if they were in Vegas with $50,000 in their hand, would they lay it ALL down on one hand of Black Jack?  Probably not.  Deal or No Deal is the worst in the greedy department.  Most of the time these rocket-scientists risk BIG money to win more.  They have an offer of over $100,000 but they risk it...lose it...and go home with less than they spent on the trip to LA to be on the show.  Or how about the dipshit on Price is Right who thinks a new hot tub, a year's worth of groceries, bbq and full deck is worth only $600?  I have to laugh.  So many people have no idea. 

Wow.  I am feeling snarky today.  Think I will go make snarky comments on facebook.  It's what I do.  (Kidding)

Carpets

Our renter just signed another lease with us!  Woo hoo!  I told her I would get her carpets cleaned in January.  I have been researching companies and found the most shocking and disgusting link.  They offer "Trauma" Clean Up. 

They list the services as:

Trauma Clean up Suicide Clean Up Meth Labs Blood Clean Up Decomposition Clean Up

Homicide Clean Up Unattended Death Trashed Houses Crime Scene Clean Up Utilities Service

Oh my God!  I don't even know what to do with this information.  So the guy who could come clean the carpets could have just left a crime scene.  *Sitting here in shock*

Today

My parents picked up Ava this morning for their regular Tuesday babysitting day.  I had to laugh, after they left I paced around the house for 30 minutes like I didn't know what to do with myself.  When I realized what I was doing I giggled...silly me.  I don't know why I was acting so lost.  I have planned my entire day and made a list of things I want to get done....no shock there. Ha.   I have spent my morning so far uploading pictures to Ava's blog, organizing photos on the computer, removing our address from the enormous amount of catalogs and phone books we get delivered to our home, and playing on the computer.  Successful morning so far. 

I am getting a full highlight and haircut at 1 pm at the new Aveda salon by our house.  Bliss.  I made a tragic mistake in November in regards to my hair.  I decided to be a "kitchen beautician" and I colored my hair myself.  Disaster.  I know better.  My roots turned this awful red and the rest just dried up.  Good work.  I know money is tight...but I have always found money to do my hair.  After the disaster, I went to the salon and had my hair fixed, which ended up costing more than if I had just had it done in the first place.  Dumb, right?  Ha.  While sitting in the salon getting my hair fixed, I realized that I had stopped buying many things for myself that make me feel good....because money is tight.  I stopped buying good lotion.  My skin was so dry I was so itchy.  The cheap crap I was buying was just not cutting it.  I hadn't bought good razors to shave in forever. My legs and arm pits were so beat up it was ridiculous.  I hadn't bought good hair products for styling and conditioning....my hair was a mess.  I hadn't been buying good products to clean and moisturize my face.  My skin looked like a teenager going through puberty.  My make up was so expired and icky, I just looked horrible.  All of these things lumped together was doing awful things for my self esteem which is not good.  I changed all that a few weeks ago with the help of my Christmas money.  I told Todd about this and he was so sad that I hadn't been buying these important things for myself.  He rocks.  He was the one that insisted that I get a FULL highlight and haircut.  I had been doing just a partial highlight and getting my hair cut at SuperCuts.  I have to remember to take care of me.  Makes me a better care-giver.  Can't wait for my appointment this afternoon.

Here's a picture of Ava and Uncle Bob from our wonderful visit to Salt Lake City.  We had a blast and Ava was a champ on the airplane.  There were many screaming kids, and none of the screams were from our girl.

Trip

Ava and I are flying to Salt Lake to see my bro and Rebecca this weekend.  Can't wait to see them.  Can't wait to spend quality time.  Can't wait to see their new gorgeous house.  OK.  I am traditionally not a good flyer.  Here's the story.  I had a panic attack on a flight once.  It only happened once, but once was enough to know that I must be medicated to fly.  The story is actually funny....now.  I had gone to Vegas with Katie and Christine for Christine's Bachelorette Party.  We drank way too much and slept way too little.  Our return flight was delayed so we sat at the airport for HOURS...realllly hung over and reallly tired.  We got on the plane finally and I started having a panic attack.  I couldn't breathe.  My throat closed.  I couldn't move.  I felt like I had a big fat sweaty dude sitting on my chest.  I wanted to jump out of the plane.  It was the scariest feeling ever.  EVER. My face was beet red the whole flight and I was shaking.  I finally had to lean forward and put my hands over my ears and sing the "meow, meow, meow" song to myself to get through it.  It was embarrassing.  It was awful.  As we left the airport Katie said, "Emily.  I love you.  But I won't fly with you to Mexico (for Christine's wedding) if you act like that.  Figure it out girl."  So.  I went to my doctor and got some nice anti-anxiety meds for the trip to Mexico.  Let-me-tell-you.....I was the SWEETEST person on that plane after taking my meds.  Funny.  Now.  OK.  I have flown many more times and each time I have medicated myself, but on headphones and zoned out with a cocktail or 4.  Emily is good flyer all doped up.  NOW...this weekend, I will be flying alone with a 9 month old.  No zoning out here.  I will be medicated....believe-you-me....but I have to stay engaged to care for Ava.  I am nervous.  But I will be ok.  Todd on the other hand is more nervous than me about my ability to fly with Ava alone.  Maybe he will need to be medicated too. 

Wish

My Wish for You in 2011


May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!

May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy

May the problems you had, forget your home address!

In simple words ...............

May 2011 be the best year of your life!!!

Christmas

We had an amazing first Christmas with our girl.  She was such a trooper with all of the festivities and looked damn cute in her Christmas dress.  It's heart warming to spend Christmas with family and having Ava this year made everything just more sparkly.  She loves the tree.  She rolls and rolls to get close to it.  She loves touching it.  I don't know where in the world she gets her need to touch everything.  Ha.  My nickname growing up (oh hell it still is) is FINGERS.  Ava got a ton of presents...now I just have to figure out where to put everything.  Life is grand.

My parents have Ava all day today.  Todd is picking her up after work.  I have the whole day to do ME things.  I am meeting Kathy and Lisa for happy hour tonight.  Basically a good day to recharge.  I really do cherish my alone time.  During the "single years" I often didn't see another person all weekend.  On my way home from work on Fridays, I would swing by the liquor store and Blockbuster to rent movies.  I consider myself to be such an extrovert ...so the fact that I require some alone time is something it took me years to figure out.  I am lucky to have such an amazing support system.  I have no idea how single moms do it.  None.

The neighborhood kids are out in full force today.  I love seeing kids playing outdoors.  I just went outside for a few minutes and watched them laugh and play.  Sometimes I have to remember to enjoy the little things....like riding a bike or laughing at the playground.

I was just going through all the pictures from Christmas.  I am really disappointed how fat I still look.  Blah.  I lost all of my pregnancy weight right away...but I had gained weight during the time of "trying" to get pregnant with all of the hormones and stuff.  I really need to figure out a way to get this bod back in shape.

Well....off to do more ME stuff.  Kisses. xxx

Tuesdays

This is the 2nd week that my parents have taken Ava for the day.  Once I find a job, they want to do a day a week of her daycare....so they are starting the daycare thing early.  Last Tuesday I had oral-freaking-surgery on my free day.  Not my idea of a free day to do what I want.  Ha. However, my plan moving forward is to use my Tuesdays to job search primarily.  I will set up networking lunches (I have one today).  Basically, I can work on the computer all day.  Make phone calls without the voice of my sweet girl in the background (not horrible, not super professional).  I can go wash my car.  May sound funny but Ava hates the car wash.  HATES.  The water hitting the car scares her and it's so loud.  Don't even get me started on the vacuum.  Anyway.  Tuesdays have become my day.  I wonder what kind of trouble I will get into today?

Grand

Life really has been grand lately.  Ava is getting so big and her personality rocks.  She is sweet, talkative and so loving.  I have noticed that she pats my arm as I carry her around.  Makes my heart soar.  It occurred to me that I pat HER on her back as I carry her.  Oh sweet. 

I am really looking forward to Ava's first Christmas.  We are putting up the tree tonight.  Yes, I wee bit late, but oh well.

I have kicked the job search into high gear.  I want to work part time doing something fun and enlightening.  Wouldn't that be a fun title?  Producer of Fun and Enlightenment?

Well my sweet girl is calling....