Doggie Talk

I was just laughing my ass off at this guy who knelt down to pet this gorgeous golden retriever. The guy was talking to the poochie in this ridiculous "doggie talk" of sorts. (Insert Here; the deep voice of someone that is talking like they have a bunch of peanut butter on their tongue and is only educated to the 1st grade level) "Oh you big-boy-you, you-wuv-da-rubs, you wuv it, you give-good-kisses-you-gud-big-boy, you wuuuuv-da-rubs, you good boy, you gud boy, you gud boy." I swear, just hearing him talk like that made me feel dirty.... dirty in a bad way.... like I need 10 showers to get that kind of dirt off. Gross. I am sooo laughing my ass off.