3rd time is a charm

I am going to my cousin Chris' 3rd wedding tonight. He's 35. He is remarrying his 2nd wife. We are all very happy that they are getting back together. His 2nd wife is an amazing woman...and they have a small daughter together. This IS truly a blessing. Maybe 3rd time is a charm. The only thing that I found odd was that the invitation didn't say "No Gifts". Do they actually expect us to bring them a gift? I know that my parents are...and they are not happy about it...but they try to be politically correct all the time. I might bring a card...and that is it. I bought a gift for the 1st and 2nd wedding...and all of the other engagement and reconciliation parties...I am not bringing one again. I have no idea what Emily Post would think of this...but this Emily says HELL and NO.

Hannah

Can I tell you how great it feels to know that I can go home after work...and I don't have to go melt in the surface-of-the-sun heat at softball practice? It's wonderful. I did love coaching, but I am gonna love having some free time again.

Last night my favorite little player, Hannah, called me at home to see if I was watching the USA vs Japan softball game on tv. Ahhhhhh! What a cutie. I answered the phone and I hear her voice, "Uh, Hi, Coach Emily? This is Hannah from the Eagles." Ahhhhhh! We chatted about softball and what she did that day. I told her that she should call me anytime that she wants to. I could hear the smile on her face in her voice. Cute! A few weeks ago at practice Hannah's dad told me that Hannah is actually his "shy one." Her twin sister is actually the outgoing one...and Hannah usually doesn't act this sassy. He told me that he thinks that softball has brought out something wonderful in her. Smile!

A special shout out to Em P...Happy Birthday friend!

Titles

There are many new titles in my life. I am now a sister-in-law. I have a brother-in-law. My sister is now a Mrs. I have been fighting at work to get Marketing added to my title...since I already do the Marketing...I want the title. But the title that I got this weekend makes the other titles seem less important. I got the title of girlfriend. Todd told me he didn't want me to see anyone else EVER again. Ahhhhhh!

The boyfriend Bermuda Triangle

The last 3 guys I have dated all disappeared after going to visit their parents in Vegas. True story. John, Danny & Jim. They went to Vegas...then I never heard from them again...or I did hear from them...and we broke up right away. Vegas is my "boyfriend Bermuda Triangle."

Now... Todd is going to Vegas. Yup! He leaves Monday for a full week. The first 3 days he will be in sales training for work...and the last 4 days he will be with his parents...they live in Henderson...just outside of Vegas. I had to crack up when he told me he was going. Honestly though, I don't think the power of the "boyfriend Bermuda Triangle" will swallow up Todd....but I did have to laugh.

Out of Range

Last night I got home from softball practice and was going through my mail. I opened a letter from my doctor. I had some blood work done a few weeks ago and figured it was my results. My doctor always runs a very detailed blood work up on me every year because I always run a fever of around 99-100 degrees. She can't figure out what's "wrong" with me...and I joke with her that I am just HOT. Ha! I don't think anything is "wrong" with me... I have always been like this. Anyway. I opened the letter and started freaking out because every thing was out of range... BAD out of range. I started frantically reading the brochure on What Your Blood Test Results Mean. I was freaking. I usually get a hand-written note from my doc saying "Perfect" or "You are very healthy, keep it up!" Gold star for Emily. Not this time. As I am reaching for the phone to call my mom...I look at the top... IT'S NOT MY TEST RESULTS. They were the results of a 71 year old woman. Sheesh! I called my doc this morning and read her assistant the riot act. Sheesh.

The BEST week

I am gonna break my rule of past and post about the guy I am dating. Man...I hope I don't jinx it. Ha! His name is Todd. He's 34. Gorgeous....inside and out. AND he's got his shit together. Our first date was on the 4th of July...we went and watched fireworks. Our 2nd date was Saturday...a BBQ at Cherill and Scot's house (Cherill's b-day). Our 3rd date...was a movie, Dave & Busters, dinner then to my house to watch TV. He's amazing. We already have plans for 3 nights this week. Wednesday he is making me dinner at his house. Friday he is coming to watch me coach. Sunday we are going to the Poison & Cinderella concert. Todd is a total gentleman...opens doors and the whole sha-bang....and tells me how beautiful I am all of the time. It's nuts. Last night he was saying a bunch of amazing things to me...and I poke him and say, "Are you real?" We cracked up. We have only dated for SIX days. It has been the best week ever.

Tipping 101

I am a good tipper. I waited tables for years...and I will reward good service with a great tip. I also understand that sometimes what can be viewed as bad service...is not the server's fault. If I am at a restaurant or bar and I am not getting the service that I feel I should...I find a manager....and POW... great service. I may get a snot-shot in my food...but the service is good. HA!

I was at brunch with a big group of girls a few weeks back. Our food was great. I was drinking coffee...and cup was always hot and fresh. Refill after refill. When it came time to pay... the girls started saying... "Oh yea, don't give her more than 8% at the most." I piped up, "Um... why are you only tipping 8%?" A couple of the girls felt like she should have asked them if they wanted more drinks. I said, "Well she asked once...you all said NO... and she was at the table at least 3 times to fill my coffee...you could have asked her then." Then they kept giving more excuses which were LAME! I told them that I was embarrassed...and a few grunted at me. THESE ARE MY FRIENDS! Ewh! I was horrified. I grabbed the pile of cash and credit card receipts and added up what the tip was. I had paid with cash....and had left a 25% tip. With my tip the total tip was actually around 7%. I poured every OUNCE of money in my purse and left it on the table. I wished I had paid with a credit card so I could add more tip. I scanned the restaurant for a cash machine...none. YUCK! I snuck out of the restaurant.

Last week I went to dinner and drinks with Emily S. Our pizza came out on the wrong crust...we wanted thin... it came out regular. The waitress apologized and brought us a thin crust. She was a little slow with our drinks...but she was slammed. Em is an ex-waitress too. And we both scanned the restaurant and saw how busy she was...and she was the only one there. The waitress bought us a free round of drinks. Our total tab was $30...and we tipped her $12. It wasn't HER fault that the kitchen didn't make the pizza thin crust. And it wasn't HER fault that she was slammed.

Folks, when tipping or judging a server's service...consider a couple things. How many servers are on the floor? Is the place packed? Did he/she just get 4 tables all at once? AND...if the food gets messed up....more often than not...it is the kitchen's fault...not the server. Just something to think about.

Runaway Truck Ramp

I can't tell you how many times I have driven past that runaway truck ramp after the Eisenhower tunnel on I-70...the one that is at the bottom of the hill on the right-hand side. I will never drive past it again and not think of the phone call I got from Cherill last night.

I will start this post like Cherill started her phone call to me last night. "Everyone is ok...don't worry everyone is ok."

Cherill, her family and about 10 other families/couples were all heading to Grand Junction together yesterday to camp on a friend's property. Cherill's oldest son Bryson, her niece Dakota and Dakota's best friend Jordan were riding in the RV in front of Cherill and Scot's RV. Dakota and Jordan both play on the softball team that I coach. As they come through Eisenhower tunnel...the RV with the kids in it...starts to swerve...madly...Swerving. Cherill gets in touch with Steve and Jill in the RV on a cell phone...THEY HAVE LOST THEIR BRAKES. NO BRAKES. The RV is a $500,000 RV. (OK...Why anyone needs a $500,000 RV is beyond me.... but anyway.) It's 30 feet long...with a 35 foot trailer on the back that is full of motorcycles and ATVs. They are flying down I-70...flying! They are going at least 90 miles per hour...weaving in and out of cars.... with a 65 foot RV and trailer. They make it to the runaway truck ramp... hit the lip...fly about 30 feet in the air... land...then end up going all the way UP the runaway truck ramp...all the way up... and finally...stop...whoa. The runaway truck ramp in only about 30 feet wide...and it's a huge drop off on both sides. Most vehicles either jack-knife or roll off the ramp to one side or another. Their RV didn't...it stayed on the ramp.... and stopped at the top.

The accident blew out several of the windows and tires in the RV...threw everything inside it...everywhere...including the kids and the dogs. It was a mess. The amazing thing is no one...not even the dogs inside the RV were hurt. No one went to the hospital. The entire situation was described as a MIRACLE by everyone there.... all witnesses.

I caught myself thinking several times today...."boy... my day today could have been very bad and sad had things not gone like they did last night." I counted my lucky stars...over and over...and over. It's close calls like that...that make the little things that seem so trivial & upsetting...seem like a day at the beach. *Deep breaths*

Heart

I have 2 1/2 weeks left in coaching softball for this season. I am relieved...and actually a wee bit sad too. I will miss those girls. I have gotten really attached to several of the girls....they have real heart. At the beginning of the season, I kinda figured my favorite girls on the team would be the super stars. The ones who really shine. I do adore those girls...but the one that won my heart is Hannah. She is a very petite blonde girl whose twin sister (not identical) is also on the team. Hannah is not the fastest, most coordinated, skilled player on the team...but she wins the award for heart.

My dad split the girls up into small groups so that the girls will get more one-on-one time...and I fought to get Hannah in my group. I coach the left side of the field...so I have the 3rd basemen, Short Stop, Catcher, Short-Fielder and 3rd Fielder (there are more positions in little girls softball). Anyway. My dad wanted to put Hannah in the outfield...and I wanted her in the action. Not many balls go to the Outfield. I put her at 3rd base. She works so hard...she deserved a position with some action.

A few weeks ago during hitting practice, she looked up at me with sad eyes and said, "Coach Emily, I want to be strong enough to hit a home run." I explained to her that I was always the smallest girl on my softball team...which doesn't mean weak and I rarely hit home runs. My job on the team was to get on base so that the other girls who do hit home runs could score me. She thought about that for a minute and nodded yes...and started hitting again.

Cut to last weekend....the Jeffco County Tournament. We were the only 1st year team in the tournament. Our first game was against the other Alameda/Green Mountain team in our age group. They played together last year. It was a hard fought game...but they beat us. The girls really played well...but the better team won. It was a double elimination tournament...so we at least had one more game. The 2 best teams in the tournament had to play each other for the 1st game...just a bad draw for both teams. We have played one of those teams twice....The Diamond Divas... our only two losses before the tournament (remember the freaky coach...yea them). Anyway...the other team... The Power Girls... are a "loaded" team. Their organization puts all of the best players on one team...which is not fair. Oh well. This team has played together for 3 years...and hadn't lost a game. They not only hadn't ever lost....they would KICK the ASS of every team they played. Shocking to all of us...the Diamond Divas beat The Power Girls...and handed them their first loss in 3 years. (Oh and for the record.... my team is called The Eagles...not some stupid name like Divas or Power Girls...anyway). We had to play The Power Girls. They have this guy coach who is really loud. Not just kinda loud...really loud. And he shouts the whole game. I kept catching our girls starring at him with their mouths open. He's a freak too. Sheesh...let's not forget...these girls are 7 & 8. Anyway...the game started...and right away their coaches were bitching about every call. Scrutinizing every move our girls made with the umpire. My dad was so calm....and handled every situation. I beamed with pride that we were showing so much class. Our girls played SO hard. I was so proud of them. At the top of the last inning...we were only down by 2 runs. AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! It was our last at-bat...so we needed to score at least 2 runs to stay in the game. We loaded the bases...and little Hannah strode up to the plate. She looked fierce and serious. I called her name...got her attention...and told her to smile. She grinned from ear to ear...and the first pitch she CRUSHED the ball to the outfield....Hannah hit a Grand Slam. We were now winning by 2 runs. Hannah was sooo excited. She was (well and the entire team and everyone in the stands) were jumping up and down. Hannah looked like a little fish jumping out of the water....wiggling and wiggling. Then she walks out of the dugout and shouts down to me, "Coach Emily, I DID IT...I hit a home run!" I said back to her, "Well, even better Hannah, you hit a Grand Slam!" She smiled from ear to ear. I had to turn away and act like I had something in my eye...to hide the tears streaming down my face...because...there's no crying in softball. Ha. The coach from The Power Girls kicked a water cooler. We ended up losing. The Power Girls got up and scored 3 runs to beat us. In my book...we won.

The wedding

My sister's wedding was Friday night. I am exhausted. It's been a long several weeks...and even longer past 4 days... an exhausting...yet glorious... past 4 days.

WEDNESDAY: I have changed my work schedule and I now get to work between 7:30 am - 8 am....then often work an average of a 12 hour day. I had Thursday and Friday off this week...so my days were averaging at 14 1/2 hours. Blech. This won't go on for ever...it's just one of those times in my career. Anyway. On Wednesday evening...I was supposed to go out to dinner with my sister as our version of her bachlerotte party. Nat didn't want a drunk-fest and plastic penises...and I was super relieved. Whew. I had left her a message earlier in the day...and didn't hear from her until nearly 8 pm. I was still at work...so I was secretly happy that she didn't have time to go to dinner that night. Anyway...she told me the events of her day...and the night before. Danny (her husband) had walked outside of their house with their pet parrot. (No, I have no f-ing idea why she has a parrot...and one that is so rare that it is worth like $2,000...whatever) Anyway. Danny walked outside with their parrot and the bastard flew away. Natalie and Danny were up the entire night searching and calling for this parrot. They found the bird in some tree...called the fire department. They brought out a lift basket...and they lifted Natalie up into the tree to retrieve the bird. Damn....such a perfect Natalie story. (Hell....what am I talking about...something like that would happen to ME too...haha!) So the lost bird pushed their schedule back. They showed up at the Court House that afternoon to get their marriage license....at 4:25 pm...knowing it closed at 4:30. When they had to run out to their car to get CASH to pay for the license....the lady locked the door behind them....fear not...they got the license the next day.

THURSDAY: Natalie and I had appointments for full spa manicures and pedicures at Danny's God-Mother's salon. Sweet. Danny's mom works there...so his mom was doing my services and his God-mom was doing Natalie's. It was such a great time. I brought champagne. I got to chat with Danny's mom for hours. She is an amazing woman. She has been married 4 times...and her stories where both sad and funny. She was very open about her life...we had an instant connection. She told me some amazing things about Danny....which made me start to love my soon-to- be brother in law. She said that Danny swears that he will only marry once...after watching her go thru so many problems. She went on and on about how much Danny loves Natalie. Made my heart swell with happiness. After the spa...I rushed home to get ready for the rehearsal and then the dinner.

The rehearsal was interesting. I expected Natalie and the Pastor to take over and tell everyone what they wanted. They didn't do that. We were all just standing around. Finally I asked the Pastor to please start the rehearsal...and he acted like he had NO idea what he was doing. I asked Natalie if I could take over...she said yes. I walked everyone through everything step by step. The cutest part was explaining to my dad how he walks Natalie down the aisle. Natalie had never asked Dad or told him that he would be giving her away....and he was SOOO happy that he got to do so. Anyway. I showed him that they walk down the aisle...and stop about 5 feet in front of the alter. Then the Pastor would say, "who presents this woman in Holy matrimony?" And then my Dad would say, "Her mother and I do." Then I explained that he would kiss Natalie, shake Danny's hand, then hand Natalie's hand to Danny, and then sit down. My dad was so nervous....we rehearsed that part 5 times. No kidding. Ha! Cute.

FRIDAY - WEDDING DAY: Natalie had made our hair appointments pretty early in the morning for a 5 pm wedding. Mine was at 10:30 am...hers at 11:30 am....at Danny's God-mom's salon. Danny's mom was paying for all of our services (nails and hair) as part of her wedding gift to Natalie and Danny...so I agreed to do an up-do. Plus I would get to be there with Natalie as she got her hair done for her wedding. So....I get to the salon to find out that the gal who was supposed to do my hair was at the hospital with her sick mom. This other guy said he would be doing my hair before Natalie's. I sat in his chair and explained what I was looking for with my up-do. I said that I liked a little volume on top...no beehives...just not pulled tight to my scalp. I would like my hair pinned up close to the top of my head...so that you can see my hair from the front...that I don't like it in the middle or bottom of the back of my head. I thought he understood. He starts by drenching my hair with this schlack-like hairspray and scrunching it. I looked like Beetlejuice. Then puts several curls all over. Then turns my chair so I can't see the mirror. Then proceeds to rat out my entire head then starts pinning my hair back. Eight minutes later....he swings my chair around and takes off my smock. My hair. The horror. My bangs were slicked to my forehead and pulled to one side like a comb-over. The top of my hair was about 5 inches tall...all ratty...and going up and straight back. The back of my hair was a fairly tight bun of sloppy curls near the middle to back of my head...that was off center....more to the left...than the center. The sides of my hair were hairsprayed so much...and had visible comb tracks....and it wasn't tight to my head... it kinda poofed out. I was speechless. It was the worst hair-do ever....ever....like if I let my friend's 5 year old daughter play barber shop on my head. I cringed. He turned the chair and told Natalie to sit down. I excused myself to the bathroom to get a better look. I started to shake...but got it back together enough to go out and watch Natalie's up-do. Nat's hair is long...down to her butt long. He hot rolled her whole head and sent her to the dryers. I sat by her and told her that I HATE my hair. She said, "have him re-do it...it doesn't look very good." He spent the next 30 minutes doing another girl's hair...then started back up on Nat's. The time was 12:20 pm. I had to go to the grocery store for water and wedding day necessities, get ready, AND be at Hudson Garden's (a 20 minute drive) by 2:30 pm for pictures and what-not. Time was a ticking away. He wasn't close to being done with Natalie's hair...and I decided that I needed to leave. I got in my car and called Cherill. I burst into tears. I was telling her about my hair...and she kept saying...go home and wash your hair. I kept telling her (in my squeaking voice that only dogs and dolphins should be able to understand) that I didn't want to hurt Natalie's in-law's feelings...and the hair destroyer...er dresser would be at the wedding. She said over and over that I have to see those pictures for the rest of my life...and that I HAD to fix it. OK. Deep breaths. I call my mom to get her opinion. I am bawling. My mom... a very sweet and proper woman who rarely cusses says, "Emily, I don't give a SHIT if they get their feelings hurt. I don't give a SHIT. And Natalie won't care. You go home and wash your hair and do it right....you hear me?" I squeaked out an ok...and then rushed home to wash my hair. I had to wash it 3 times to get all of the hair spray out. I re-did my hair...and it looked fan-freaking-tastic. I took some selfportraits of the hair debacle...I will share those later. I was about 20 minutes late to Hudson Gardens...but it wasn't a big deal. I walked into the room and Danny said, "You changed your hair." I said, "Yes, I put my sassy dress on...and it needed my hair to be down." His mom winked at me and said, "I am glad you fixed your hair, you look beautiful." Whew. The ceremony was gorgeous. It was amazing. I hope that my husband looks at me the way that Danny was looking at Natalie. Pure love was pouring out if his eyes.

The reception looked more fantastic than I could have imagined. My mom and I picked out every detail...and it came together so wonderfully. When it came time for the speeches...my Dad went first. He and my mom had written a poem about their wishes for their lives together. My dad is an eloquent public speaker...and he had Natalie bawling. Natalie was crying so hard that she was gripping my leg and buried her head in Danny's shoulder. AND...since no one cries alone in my presence....I cried too. I should have known better than to let my dad speak before my speech. I didn't get to say everything I wanted to during my speech...and had to drop the mic to my side to take deep breaths...but I did say basically what I wanted to. Nearly everyone was tearing up. Awwwh. Several people told me that I gave a great speech. That might have just been to cover up my crying...who cares. Danny said he wanted to make a speech too...he took the mic from me and didn't look at anyone but Natalie and spoke from the heart for about 5 minutes about how much he loves her...and what an amazing woman she is. It was so wonderful. What a great night. The reception was over at 9 pm....and we then had to completely clean the party room. I got home about 11 pm....really wound up from the wedding. I couldn't get to sleep. I NEEDED to get to sleep.... because I had to be up at 5:30 am to be at our girls softball tournament by 7 am. It was a long day at the softball tournament...but worth it. I will post about that later. Too tired now. All in all the wedding was so wonderful. I am so happy for Natalie and Danny. So happy! Cheers!

I've got a cat for sale....really cheap!

This morning I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee paying bills online...and my cat Sasha comes tearing around the corner and leaps to jump on my lap. Well... she missed my lap and then dug her claws into my leg to catch herself from falling. She sliced my left leg up really bad. I have one long cut and several puncture wounds. Sweet. I grabbed her and tossed her to the ground and then shouted FUCK about 10 times. My leg started bleeding so I showed Sasha her handy work. She looked horrified. And has spent the last several hours trying to love on me. Damn cat. Now she is pouting in the corner. Ladies & Gentlemen...I've got one black cat for sale...I will sell her really cheap....hell...I might PAY you to take her.

The pool at my building has been taken over by pool hoppers. The best kind of pool hoppers....white trash with 15 kids. There aren't any kids that live in my building, so they really stand out. Plus they stand out because they don't look like they could afford a place in my building. Don't get me wrong...I am not rich...and I don't live in the Ritz... just these people have 4 teeth and scream "I don't belong here." I had my suit on to go down....no thank you.

Tonight is Selena and Jason's going away party at Christine and Jaime's house. It's not a huge get-together...just the core group of about 25. I finished the video of pictures put to music yesterday. It's 7:47...which is really long considering that each picture is only on the screen 3 seconds. I have about 130 pictures. I couldn't figure out how to burn the video from Premier in a DVD file...so I saved it as a VCD...and have to fiddle with my DVD player setting to get it to run...but it does....so victory. I will play the video at the party tonight. I hope they like it. Maybe I could do these videos as a 2nd job on the side. My wedding gift to my sister is a video of her wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, my sister's wedding is less than a week away. Most everything is done. I did the entire itinerary last night... planning out every minute and every song of the ceremony and the reception. Natalie reviewed the itentery...and was really happy. I got my dress...and it is sassy. I love it. Still need to find shoes...I will probably do that tomorrow. No one has heard where the rehearsal dinner is yet...but oh well....ya know? It's not my wedding. It will go off wonderfully...and everyone will be happy.

The little 8 year old girls softball team that my dad and I have been coaching is really doing well. Our record is 4-2. Our 2 losses are to a team that has played together for 3 years. Remember the coach that freaked out on me? Ya...that team. In fact, when we played them last week...that same coach was talking shit to me the entire game. I ignored him. What a tool. Anyway. They have 2 girls on their team that look like they are 14. It's nuts...8 year olds with boobs. But our team is doing great. Not bad for a 1st year team. Just a few weeks ago we were showing the girls which hand their glove goes on...and explaining what a ball and strike was. It's been fun. I really enjoy the girls...and especially all of the quality time with my parents.

Work has been...well...challenging...recently to say the least. We had a shift in the top management and the change scared the shit out of me. I would rather dance with the devil I know...than the devil I don't. However, for the first time in a long time I feel empowered at work. I was always involved with everything...but was the "yes man" and just did what I was told to do...for the most part. With the new management, I have been given a ton more responsibility...and it's fantastic. I am doing all of the marketing...and making the creative decisions...it's wonderful. Once the dust settles you can bet that I will be asking for a raise. Ha.

'Tis the season

I had another shower to attend today....this time a baby shower for Kristen. 'Tis the season for showers.

She and her husband live in Chicago now, so except for a few pictures she emailed me...I hadn't seen her pregnant. She is due in mid-August and looks great. She's walking on sunshine. They're having a boy.

I met Kristen when she was 20 years old. I hired her as an intern at my first radio gig. I have hired her for about 4 times for other jobs too. Man, it was wonderful to see her. We have always been friends, even though I was her boss for quite a while.

The shower was thrown by one of her college friends and was very well organized. I love that. The hostess is artsy and crafty...so there were many gorgeous hand-made decorations. Very cute. We played 3 games (I really don't like shower games). The first game I had a distinct disadvantage at playing. It was the one where you have to identify different flavors of baby food. You would smell it...and if you were crazy...taste it. I did NOT do well at this game. And for the record, did not taste the baby food. I was the only gal there who wasn't married. And, except for the girl who got married a month ago...the only one without kids. Well except Kristen...hers is on the way...anyway. These chicks were not only idenfiying the baby food as what fruit or whatever...they were writing down the exact commercial name. "Pear Banana Delight" "Turkey Dinner with Peas" "Strawberry Dessert" Wha? I lost that game. Ha. Several of the girls got every one right. Sheesh. The 2nd game was match the name with it's description. For example, my name means "Industrious". I won that game. I got all of them right. The 3rd game was kinda sick. They passed around baby diapers with a different melted chocolate bar in it. Ewh. I can only imagine what her neighbors thought watching each gal grab the diaper and put it up to their face and smell what was inside. I won that game too...got all of them right (again). I told the hostess to give my prize to another girl...it's only fair. Ha. Ironically, I don't like chocolate...but apparently can "name that chocolate bar".

After about 4 hours of "ooohhh how cute" I excused myself to go home and take a nap.

Oh no you didn't David!

Last night I was watching Leno. I usually watch Letterman...but Leno had David Lee Roth as a musical guest. My morbid curiosity got the best of me...I had to see it. After David's crash and burn as a Syndicated Morning Dee Jay...I had to watch.

Oh...and his performance didn't disappoint.

The first shot of the stage you see has about 15 musicians with cellos, steel guitars, banjos, harps and flutes. I am thinking...damn...where the hell is Eddie Van Halen? The music starts up...it's an Irish Jig version of the Van Halen hit "Jump". Wha? Then David Lee Roth saunters on the stage. His hair is short and parted on the side. He has on an un-tucked button up surf-style shirt and jeans. He looks visibly nervous. His smile looks like a serial killer. He starts saying/singing "Might as well...oh...might as well...JUMP." Over and over. You can hear the sound of crickets in the audience. He starts pacing around the stage trying to get them to start clapping along by snapping his fingers really fast. His smile looks painted on...like the Joker (from Batman). "Oh oh oh...Might as well...oh...might as well...JUMP....JUUUMP!"

It was quite sad. I tried to find some footage...but it's late and I want to go home from work. Still cracking up. Whoa. No you didn't David.

Deep thought

I got the following in a forwarded email (ewh). I have seen this one before...but felt like posting it.

Today's Deep Thought:
I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, start out dead and get it out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and finally you finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.

Would I do that?

I saw on the news last night that the OB/GYN floor in hospitals across our nation and around the world were jammed yesterday with many many many expectant mothers who got induced yesterday to avoid giving birth today on 6/6/06.

Would I do that?

Would you?

A fresh new start

The end of the weekend usually means "blah" for me. But after my wonderful weekend...I am looking forward to a fresh new start of a week. This weekend was what I needed to recharge...even though I worked for 5 hours on Saturday.

Friday: My girl's softball team had a game. We won 20 - 10. The girls played so well. I was beaming with pride. After the game my parents and I went to dinner...then I went home and laid on the couch and watched Brokeback Mountain. I hadn't seen it yet. After watching it I wondered if I would have made the same faces of shock with others there.

Saturday: Like I said, I worked for 5 hours. I needed to drive around and look at potential billboards for an advertising campaign. Took a nap in the A/C. Then, my bro came over for dinner and to watch Harry Potter - The Goblet of Fire (4th movie). I haven't read any of the books or seen any of the other movies. My bro knows everything about Harry Potter...so he was playing the part of the narrator.

Sunday: I went to the pool for what I fear was about 30 minutes too long. I got a sunburn. I hope it doesn't peel in time for the wedding. I went to the grocery store. Watched Match Point...interesting movie. Took a nap. Made dinner. Paid bills. Balanced my checkbook. Cleaned my house. Bought Kristen's baby shower gift online and had it shipped to her house in Chicago.

I got everything done that I wanted to this weekend including napping and some pool time. I feel like a million bucks. Ready for another day...which is more than I could have said anyday in the last 2 weeks. Va Va Voom!

Mistaken Identity

I feel so bad for the families involved in the mistaken identity case of the 2 girls in Michigan who got in a car accident. One girl died and another girl was horribly disfigured on her face but was alive in intensive care. Both the doctor and the coroner made mistakes in identifying the girls. One family had a funeral for a girl they thought was their daughter. It wasn't their daughter. And another family prayed over another girl they thought was their daughter who in a coma. And it wasn't their daughter. So sad. So very very sad. I just have to wonder how the parents of the girl in the coma didn't figure out the girl in the hospital bed wasn't their daughter sooner. I know the girls had an eerie resemblance, but what about old scars, birthmarks, her hands, her ears (pierced? earrings?), her feet? I know what my family's hands and feet look like...hell...they look like mine. I have to believe that if someone I love was laying in a bed and their face was bandaged up...that I would know in my heart it was or wasn't my loved one. I feel so bad for them.

Overheard

I just overheard two girls talking about the Pitt-Jolie baby. Here's what was said.

"If Jennifer Aniston is upset about the whole Brad/Angie baby thing, she can take comfort in the fact that the kid is gonna get teased on the playground. I can just see kids skipping around poor little Shiloh singing, "Shiloh Pitt is a Piloh Shitt!"

Man...that is good stuff.

Not one thing... done... well

Last night at about 11 pm I was still at the office and seconds away from a nervous breakdown. Exhausted. Frustrated. Hungry. Cranky. Overwhelmed. The tears started streaming down my face and I was shaking. I got up from my desk, grabbed my purse and went home right that second.

Coaching softball is taking a toll on me. The time commitment for coaching is enormous. On an average week, I have to leave work by 4:45 on practice days and 3 pm on game days. We have practice twice a week and 1 or 2 games a week. Monday-Friday. Once I get to softball and see my dad and the girls...I love it...and it's worth it. But damn.

Work is always nuts for me. I work hard. Let me put it this way, at my last radio gig, I had 4 full-time people in my department that got the same job done that I do here...alone. Two weeks ago I was asked to put together a HUGE project for the station that was due in 2 days. I did it. Their plan changed. Re-do HUGE said project again in 2 days. I did it. The plan changed again. Re-do HUGE project a 3rd time. OK...you get the point. This went on and on. I got another change in the program that is due at 7:30 am tomorrow. I will be here all night.

I got so upset last night because I realized that I am not doing one thing in my life...well. The perfectionist in me got a bad realization. I may not be perfect. I am not Super Woman. I am not doing one thing well. I am often late to softball because of work (bad coach), my cat feels like an orphan (bad mom), my work is tough(bad employee), I don't have time to see my friends (bad friend), I have had to say no to a couple dates (bad dater), I haven't had time to blog (bad blogger), I have a pile of emails and tons of personal voicemails to reply to that are over a week old (bad email/phone friend), I have dishes piling up in my sink (sick)...there's more but I will spare you.

To add insult to injury, I called my mom last night and burst into tears. This morning she sent me a wonderful "you are the best and brightest kid in the world" email. I replied to her and thanked for being a fabulous and supportive mama and explained WHY I burst into tears. I said that work is tough and softball is making it tough to catch up. My dad read the email (they have a joint account) and sent me an email that said:

Emily:
I can finish the remainder of the season with Katrina and Becky. They are ready to assume more responsibility. I have really enjoyed coaching with you. Thank you for all of your help.
Love,
Dad

My heart broke. Damn. I called my dad and explained that I am not a quitter, I made a commitment to him and the girls and I plan to see this through.

Times are tough. But I am tougher.

The "Fret Heart Attack"

On Thursday night at softball practice there was a rain and thunder storm off to the south-east part of town. The sun was shining and it was hot where we were. But the sky on the other part of town was really dark and we could see some lightening. A couple of the little girls started getting distracted by the storm. They were standing there (not paying attention to practice) waiting for another lightening strike...then they would start counting. One-one-hundred. Two-one-hundred. Three-one-hundred....and so on. Then they would chatter about how far the storm is away from us. One of the parents came up to me while I was trying to get the girls to focus on practice and said, "The girls are learning about weather this week in school." Ah! Ok! Emily, one of the girls, came up to me with tears streaming down her face. In a squeaky voice she said, "Ummm... Coach Emily...I won't touch a bat...lightening! LIGHTENING! I get upset...and my heart races...and I get fret heart attacks...I can't breathe... I get FRET heart attacks...they are not as bad as a real heart attack...but I get them...and they are baaaaaaad." (Insert sobbing and a quivering chin here) I look at her with my eyes as big as saucers and say, "What? Emily? What is wrong?" She starts in again on the same speech...and I interrupt her and tell her to go talk to her mom (who was over with another group of girls pitching to them.) Whoa... a freaking "fret heart attack?" Who is feeding these phrases to these kids? I had to laugh. I went over to my dad and explained that the girls are freaking over the weather...and suggested that we call practice. We did. We picked up all of the equipment and called it a day. The storm never hit our part of town...it got close...but it was the right thing to do. I still crack up at "fret heart attack."

Coaching has been fun for the most part. I would describe coaching 8-year old girls as "herding mice." I got that phrase from another coach. Trying to get them all to follow instructions and pay attention is challenging to say the least. One great thing that has come of my coaching is that I have lost 15 lbs. I am thinner right now than I have been in like 10 years. Gotta love that.