I do...now and forever

Todd and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary a few weeks back. It was glorious. I fondly remember raising a glass *clink* on our 1st anniversary praying that we would either have a baby or at least be pregnant by our 2nd anniversary. *Sigh* We both teared up at Jax Fish House as we remembered that cheers/wish/dream and smiled when we spoke of our beautiful Ava Jean. She really is a blessing. We have such a blissful love and now we get to share it with Ava. Oh sweetie...I do....I do now and forever.

Our 4 year anniversary of DATING is this July 4th. Four years. Feels longer. Feels like we just fell in love. I heart you Todd. You are my inspiration. You are my love. You are a wonderful father to our baby. I am the luckiest.

Ava's blog

I have created a special blog just for Ava. Pictures of her. Videos of her. A log of her new adventures and accomplishments. I am for the most part going to keep this blog about the nutty things that happen in my life and head. Just an fyi.

Money Tree

Recently we bought a few new plants. Lucky for us, they had those annoying black fruit fly bugs in them. So...we got a bunch of those nasty ass bugs flying around. They also made a nest in my fish tanks...sweet. My fish were thrilled to have fresh flies to feast on...me...not so happy. They also made nest in several of my other house plants. SUCKY! I had tried several things and was almost rid of those lil bastards, and.....dun dun dun....Todd decided to spray the plants with RAID. Yes. Poison. Shockingly the POISON he sprayed on my plants...KILLED nearly all of my house plants including the beloved Money Tree. (I love you honey...but really...POISON?) Now, you NEVER get rid of or kill a Money Tree...NEVER...it's super triple dog dare bad luck. I was horrified. All of the leaves fell off the Money Tree and all was left was this ugly 3 foot stick....potted in a pot. I am not going to have some ugly ass stick in my house without leaves so I take the stick cut it down and put the roots in water...and said a prayer. Woo hoo! The Money Tree has sprouted and we are in luck peeps. Whew. Go Money Tree....make mama proud....oh and make me some money!

News

I think this picture is funny...not funny ha ha...funny odd. I am certainly not making light of the spill in the gulf...quite the opposite. I have been really bothered by the news lately. I think everyone has been. The oil spill in the gulf is heart breaking. I can't stop thinking about the people, families, businesses, animals and so many more that are forever changed. And there is no end in sight. Everytime I see a picture of another animal covered in that black mess...my stomach hurts. I wish I knew how I could help. Feeling helpless is such an isolating feeling.

The local news is all over the story of a woman from Longmont Colorado who suffocated her 6 month old baby boy. Huh? A story like that would have made me very sad before, but now that I am a mom, I feel devastated. I can't see her face, or the picture of their family with that sweet baby. This nut case mom thought her baby had Autism so she put a plastic bag over his.....I can't even type it...my hands are shaking. She did that and then left him alone and went to BED!!!!!! Growl. I know so many people who would LOVE to have a little baby...with or without Autism...and she does the unspeakable. The awful thing is that the baby's dad was sad but not surprised that she did that. WHAT THE? Shame on that dad for not protecting his boy. Shame-on-him! Now she is claiming that she has postpartum depression. I know that is a real thing, but it's not an excuse to NOT get help.
I am just appalled.
I am just heart broken.
I just want to kick that woman's ass.

One Hail of a day

Well well. We had one hail of a day yesterday. Pun totally intended. It was around lunch and Ava and I were headed to Target. I got pretty much all the way there and realized that I didn't have the thing I wanted to return. Duh. So I turned around and headed home. On my way home I stopped at the bank. In that time the skies opened up...in minutes it was pouring rain so hard I couldn't see and the hail...oh my the hail. I was about a mile for home and decided to make a run for it. (The bank that I was at was all over the news showing all of the damage to the employee's cars...yikes) Anyway. I fly home and get in the garage and that is right when the ping pong ball sized hail started. It was nuts. I knew that it wasn't a good idea to make the trip from the detached garage to the house so I got in the back seat with Ava to ride it out together. Then, I heard the tornado sirens. Hell. We are sitting ducks in a garage during a tornado. So I find a lawn chair cushion and put it over Ava in her carrier and make a run for it. I get the ever lovin crap beat out of me...hi..can you say bruises? I ran through ankle deep hail to get inside. I took this picture about 5 minutes before I made the run for it.



We get inside and hunker down for the rest of the afternoon in the downstairs bathroom. Me, Ava, Barkley (dog) and Sasha (cat). At about 1:50 pm, Barkley starts whining and pacing. Come to find out that 2 tornados touched down less than a mile from our house at that very moment. I guess moving forward Barkley will be my tornado siren. Scarey. All in all we weathered the storm. We didn't lose any windows...which is very lucky. All of our neighbors on both sides and across the street lost many windows. We lucked out because before I left for Target I opened all of our windows because it was 75 degrees and sunny...and didn't look like rain. Our screens are torn out and I had to clean a bunch of huge ass hail up...but no windows. And..windows happen to be the one thing our HOA doesn't cover. Phew. Other damage, my flower gardens, our deck has some quarter size dents in the wood (fixable) and our roof looks pretty beat up...but that is covered by the HOA. At the end of the day, no one got hurt.

Here are some pictures of the 2nd storm that blew through at 7 pm last night. Seriously? Ha. By the way...the hail had all melted from the earlier storm...so this is all new hail. Sweet.





I had nightmare last night about the storm. Before leaving for Target I wanted to go for our daily walk. We go about an hour around the neighborhood. Imagine if I was 15, 20, 30, or 60 minutes from home in that storm. My nightmare consisted of me trying to find a house to let us in from the storm and no one would. I then put my body over Ava in her stroller...only to be knocked out by baseball sized hail. In my dream....all I can see is black...and all I can hear is Ava crying in pain. It was horrrrrrible. I can still tear up thinking about it. Sigh.

Moving to Mexico

Dear President Obama:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family to Mexico and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.

18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!

Epic

Today Ava had a melt down at the grocery store of epic proportions. Epic. As I was checking out she started to warn me that something was starting to piss her off. Her fuse burned hot and fast and by the time I was paying she was screaming at the top of her lungs, pumping her little fists, sweating and red faced as a tomato. A crowd was gathering. I took her out of her carrier to hold her and bounce her to get her to stop. The sweet boy with down syndrome who bagged my groceries says he will help me to my car. I am carrying a screaming wiggling 7 week old who now has large alligator tears streaming down her face. People are staring. She is still screaming...and getting so loud she is losing her voice. I am trying to remain calm. We get to my car and I put her back in her carrier to load the groceries in the car. She is still screaming. The sweet boy who helped me to my car is now getting upset too and rocking back and forth like Rain Man saying over and over "Something is hurting her. Make it stop. Something is hurting her. Make it stop." Over and over and over. Ava is still screaming. And the sweet boy is now Rain Man. Good lord. I get the groceries in the car and quick like a bunny make a bottle for Ava. I am sitting in the back seat of my car feeding her. She stops crying....but is whimpering and giving me what-for with her moans for making her wait 5 minutes to eat. To add insult to injury, now Rain Man is convinced that I have hurt my child and he is walking around my car giving me dirty looks. I mean diiiirrrrty looks. I roll the window down and tell him that she has stopped crying and thanked him for his help. His eyes narrow and he glares at me and says, "Good. Baby stopped hurting." Alrighty then. The Mom of the Year Award goes to.....

Smiley Ava!

Now that I have figured out how to post videos....I will become borderline annoying posting them. They are more for me to remember...just so you know. (wink) Here's one smiley girl.

Hilarious

I am a quirky person. I like things the way I like them. I have odd likes and dislikes. I know that about myself. My friends and family know that about me. My husband...not so quirky. He's a straightforward normal dude. Except when it comes to this one thing...where the toilet paper holder goes. I have NO idea why...but he wants the toilet paper holder to be in the middle of the bathroom...totally in the way. OK. I admit that it's MY quirkyness that has made this an issue but in our house it causes some eye rolling on my part. He wants this thing so far from the toilet that if one were to run OUT of toilet paper mid-activity, one would have to get up OFF the toilet to reach the new toilet paper roll. While I was pregnant, I told him that over and over, and without fail, he would move it again. It's a game now really. I move it. He moves it back. I have to laugh. Finally while I was pregnant, I had to get kinda pissed....OK really pissed one night. I brought him into the bathroom and showed him how much of a pain it was to get my fat preggers ass off the toilet to get more paper. Whew. During the rest of my pregnancy the paper stayed where it should be....by the freaking toilet. Ava is 7 weeks old today. And....dun dun dun....this morning...I went in the bathroom to find it BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING BATHROOM. Grrrrr. Oh Todd. Here are the pictures. The first picture is where the toilet paper SHOULD be. The 2nd picture is where Todd moves it. Grrrrr. Hahaha.

What a sweet pea!

Here's a picture from our visit to the photo studio! She's 6 weeks old in this picture! What a sweet pea!

Bath time for Ava

If you can stand my singing...it's a cute video of Ava's bath. She loves her bath...but in the video she is looking at me like..."really? really mom?" Ha.

Recovery

My recovery from the c-section has been fairly easy. After surgery they sewed this line in my belly by around the incision site that gave me a steady dose of pain meds right at the point of incision 24 hours a day. I had to carry a bag of medicine with me everywhere. I was happy when they took that dumb thing out because I kept forgetting I had it and then yanking on the line sewn in my belly...that hurt more than not having the meds...I think. We left the hospital on Friday at 1 pm after I insisted on being sent home. They took my staples out of my belly and sent us on our way. I wanted to sleep in my own bed. We did so much better at home. I was tired of doctor's poking me and Ava at all hours of the day and night. I wanted peace. Home. Sweet. Home.

She's here!

And she's almost 5 weeks old. I have been a bad blogger again. I have been a wee bit busy. Ha. Well world, our beautiful daughter is here...Ava Jean. She was born on Tuesday, March 30th at 8:05 am. She was 6 lbs, 9 oz and 19 inches long. She's just a little peanut with a full head of brown hair. She has so much hair that people stop and talk to us about her hair everywhere we go. She is soooo beautiful and just the sweetest thing ever.

We had issues during the c-section and I lost a lot of blood. Everything turned out ok...but it was scary there for a little while. I noticed that it was taking a lot longer than I had been told it would take. I could hear a change in the tone of the doctor's voices. I was trying to listen to what they were saying and just then...the anesthesiologist came down by my face and started asking me questions about the baby's nursery. I said to him, "I don't mind answering your questions, but I am trying to listen to what they are saying over there." He said, that it was his job to ask me questions. Really? It's your job to ask me questions about the baby's nursery? Well. That was about the time he gave me a nice solid hit of morphine that pretty much knocked me out. Nice. One of the surgeons peered her head over the screen blocking my view and her face was covered with my blood and her eyes were as big as saucers. She literally looked scared. Wowsa. Made my heart sink. I saw a splatter of blood on the ceiling of the Operating Room and asked, "Who's blood is that on the ceiling?" And my doctor joked, "well it wouldn't be a very sanitary O.R. if it was someone's blood other than your blood." Ha. Great. Everyone is a comedian. Todd said the area looked like a freaking murder scene. I heard my doctor tell the students observing the c-section that this was not a normal amount of blood loss. Sweet. After they got Ava out, they showed her to me and then they rushed her to the NICU because she wasn't "pinking" up. She was very blue. I told Todd to follow and stay with the baby. He wanted to stay with me....but I wanted him with her. She needed him....and I was fine. They took me to recovery. I was there until way after 11 am. I had been told that I would be done and breast feeding the baby within the hour after surgery. Surgery was at 7:30 am. So...at 11 am I started saying "Where is my baby? Please take me to my baby! WHERE is my baby?" They told me I wasn't ready to leave recovery. I guess my big mouth got me somewhere this time because by 11:30 I was in my room and Todd was bringing Ava to me. Everyone else had held her....but me. It was my turn. When Todd layed her in my arms it was love at first sight. She was so alert and we just locked eyes. Man oh man...I love that little girl.

Afraid

Very soon our beautiful daughter will be here....so soon...in about 33 hours. Finally. Todd and I spent this weekend finishing up projects, taking naps and being alone....together. At lunch today he asked me what I was afraid of with the delivery (c section). I told him I am afraid the drugs will hurt the baby. I told him that I read on line that they tie my hands down during the surgery. I don't like that. I will probably tell them not to tie my hands down...unless they can give me a really good reason. I told him I am afraid of the pain. I am afraid that I will be so drugged up that I will miss the first moments of our daughters life. Then I had to stop talking...because I was making the wait staff at Hacienda Colorado nervous....because tears were streaming down my face. Ha. The is a funny thing about being SOOO pregnant. Everyone handles you with kid gloves. Mainly because I think they are afraid that I will flop on the floor and start having a baby right there....and they will have to help. Who knows. But it's funny and I giggle. If I were a meaner person, I might walk into the middle of Target and throw water on the floor and start to moan and shout "Uhhhh....the baby is coming." Ha. Just kiddin. I can't be the only pregnant woman who has thought of that. Ok. Maybe. I digress. I guess to really answer Todd's question. I am afraid I won't be a good mom. Maybe the fact that I am afraid that I won't...was my first test and proof that I will be. One thing is for sure...I KNOW Todd will be the best dad ever. I mean ever.

A note to my unborn daughter

To my dearest sweet pea,
Well the doctor tells me we will get to meet you on Tuesday, March 30th around 10 am. I can't wait to see your pretty face and kiss you all over. You may not know this but we had a tough time getting you here...and I can't believe you will be in our arms in 15 days.

Your dad and I talk about you all the time.

We dream for you.

We sing to you.

We laugh and tear up when we talk of you.

We wish the world for you.

We wonder who you will look like more. The ultra sounds show us that you have a ton of hair. We wonder if you will have blonde hair or brown hair? Blue or green eyes? Maybe brown?

We have a short list of names for you that both your dad and I love....we will name you once we meet you. Although, my darling, I have my favorite name. :) We want to meet you and make sure we give you a name worthy of you. All of the names are strong, feminine and will look fabulous and classic at the top of a resume. :)

Your room is all ready. I can't wait for you to see it. Your dad painted the walls bright pink and 2 shades of brown. He spent so much time painting the room...making sure that every edge was perfect. He did such a great job. So much love in this room. Everything is washed and ready for you. I just know you will love it.

You are one lucky little girl...there are a lot of people who are anxiously awaiting your safe arrival. In fact, your cousin Calea, who is 2 1/2, talks about you all of the time. Yesterday, she was carrying around a baby doll all day (which is not something she does very often) and when your Aunt Natalie asked her what her baby's name was, she answered "Emmy's baby". I get the feeling you two will be good friends.

Right at this moment I can feel you moving around and I get such joy from feeling you live and move.

Your dad and I feel blessed. Our cup runneth over.
Love you to the moon baby girl!

Love,
Mom

My 82nd Academy Awards Picks

Here are my Oscar picks. Feel free to use 'em....but give me credit where credit is due.

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Best Supporting Actress: Mo'nique
Best Animated Feature Film: UP
Best Foreign Film: The White Ribbon
Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino - Inglorious Bastards
Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Best Documentary Feature: The Cove
Best Original Score: Up
Best Original Song: The Weary Kind - Crazy Heart
Best Film Editiing: Avatar
Best Cinematography: The Hurt Locker
Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria
Best Art Direction: Avatar
Best Makeup: Il Divo
Best Visual Effects: Avatar
Best Documentary - Short Subject: China's Unnatural Disaster
Best Short Film: A Matter of Loaf and Death
Best Short Film Live Action: Kavi
Best Sound Editing: Avatar
Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

Hawaii

Todd's sister Lindsey is getting married on Saturday in Hawaii. We *obviously* aren't going. Could you imagine sitting on a plane for a 7 hour flight 9 months pregnant? Plus, I have been on travel restrictions since week 10 of my pregnancy....and I am fairly sure most airlines don't let you fly in your 9th month. Anywho. We are not going. Here's a picture of Lindsey in her dress and veil. Gorgeous huh? She made that veil. Quite crafty sis. I am very happy for them and wish we could be there.

Sleep

Or the lack there of....
Sleep.
I have no idea why God plays this cruel joke on pregnant women and makes it so tough to sleep in the weeks prior to giving birth. It's 2:12 am. I am wide awake. This has become my routine of sorts. I go to bed at a decent hour, toss and turn. I may fall asleep for an hour. I wake up wide awake and lay in bed until I finally just get up and get on the computer for something to do. *Sigh* It's not fair. I know that it's my "training" for when the little girl gets here...but I think better training would be to let me have the best sleep ever....and I think I will be more prepared. Ok. I know. I am not buying it either.

Here's an email I got a few days ago in the WEEEEE hours of the morning from one of the sites I visit. I had to laugh. I guess I am not alone.

Sleep disturbances during pregnancy
Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board
Last updated: February 2010

Wide awake at 4 a.m.? Is that watermelon where your belly used to be making it impossible for you to get comfortable? Or is heartburn, nausea, or a constant need to pee keeping you up? You're bound to have trouble sleeping at some point during your pregnancy, especially during the first and third trimesters. Don't despair: You can do something to improve the quality of your zzzs.

Read on to find out about common sleep stealers during pregnancy and how you can cope with them. When you're done, brush up on the basics of good sleep and learn about sleep aids and techniques that are safe to use during pregnancy.


• Can't get comfortable

• Exercise before bed keys you up

• Frequent urination

• Heartburn and indigestion

• Hunger

• Insomnia

• Leg cramps

• Medications

• Nausea

• Restless legs syndrome

• Sharing a bed

• Sleep apnea

• Snoring and congestion

• Vivid dreams

• Worrying about your baby

Check. Check. Double Check. I have all of the above. Thank-you-very-much.

Oscars

I just saw a promo that The Oscars are this Sunday. What? I am so unprepared. I usually have seen most if not all of the movies up for Best Picture. This year? Not so much. I think part of the reason is that there are so many movies up for Best Picture...but who knows. A girl friend of mine (who has moved to the east coast) used to host the best Oscar parties complete with prizes for picking the most winners for the night. I was in heaven. I still print out the winners sheet and make my picks each year...but it's not the same...just not the same.

Scare

I will say first off, I am ok, the baby is ok. We had a big scare on Monday. I started having contractions about 3 pm in the afternoon that continued until nearly midnight. I was having about 2-4 an hour and on the phone with my doc all night. If we had 5+ in an hour or started bleeding...then the doc would have had us rush to the hospital...which we never did....and they stopped. We saw the doc yesterday and we had another ultra sound (that was our 10th ultrasound). The baby looked fine and I wasn't dilated. One exciting thing we did get to see was that she has a full head of hair AND we saw her practicing the breathing motion...which made me LOSE it. :) Bawling. (Plus I was so tired hadn't slept at all...and being in "labor" for 8 hours)...but still....seeing her breathe was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Some more good news we saw yesterday is that I have been upgraded from placenta previa to "low laying placenta" which means if the placenta moves a little bit more we have a shot at a normal delivery. Although, I am really ok with the scheduled c-section the idea of giving birth the natural non-surgical way is appealing. Whatever happens...happens....as long as she is healthy. I am still sore from Monday...but happy all is ok.

Hypocrisy

I have always found it hypocritical that certain people in the work place are held to different expectations on the hours they work. The difference is between those WITH kids and those WITHOUT. I realize that I am about to enter the world of WITH kids...so this frustration will cease for me directly....for the most part. However, I get irritated at the way I (and others) have been treated over the years in this arena. I remember a particularly butt-in-sky lady of a co-worker of mine said to me, "you should not advertise that you are leaving at 5 pm." Uh. Why? The other 3 sales managers have left to pick up their kids or go home. Why not me too? Because I don't have kids to pick up? I got here this morning by 8 am worked my butt off. Didn't take a lunch. Certainly didn't take the 8, 15-minute smoke breaks today that YOU took. Why can't I go home after a hard days work at a decent hour to be with my husband? Or go to the gym? Or walk my dog? My boss (at the time) each day arrived sometime around 9 am, took smoke breaks all day long, and would leave by 5 to go pick up her kids. So why can't I leave after a hard days work? Here's a funny story. I have a friend, an old radio friend, who works at the gym that our management gets "free" memberships to. He had told me over and over how my former management team works out for hours 3-4 times a week in the middle of the day. One manager actually plays on a basketball league that is for 2 hours long each session....3 days a weeks. Ironic....eh? I get the crap for working a solid day...and they are taking HOURS in the middle of the day to NOT work. Odd. I have been witness to other managers being excused from long meetings that were running late because the had to go pick up the kids. What if *I* had something I needed to do after work? Just because I don't have kids...I have to stay? Ah the hypocrisy.

Chivalry

Chivalry. I have been witness to many different kinds of chivalry in the past. But I didn't really appreciate it until now. Now that I am 8 1/2 months pregnant. Todd and I were at Bonefish Grill for a romantic Valentines date on Saturday. We were waiting for our reservation. The place was packed and I was standing in a corner with Todd feeling squished by the masses. Never before had I been more aware of the men sitting in the few seats there were available than that night. My back and my feet were killing me and I would have paid $20 to sit down. I kept a smile on my face anyway...how could I not smile? I was with Todd, my Valentine, and we were having a wonderful date. Sweet Todd asked me so many times if I was ok...and hugged me. Then, like a knight in shining armor, this one younger gentleman tapped me on the shoulder and offered up his seat. *Sigh* I said thank you several times and so did Todd. Chivalry. It's a good thing. That seat was worth every cent of the $20 I would have paid for it.

Pet Peeves

I am in a sassy mood again today...so I am going to list some pet peeves I have. I had so much fun with the list of people I could do without...a list of pet peeves is in order. Enjoy.

Drivers who don't use a turn signal.
People who read out loud what they're typing in an email or letter.
Kids who tease dogs through a fence.
Couples who sit on the same side of the booth when there is no one on the other side.
Parents who bring their young kids to R rated films.
People who sit next to you on public transportation or in the movies even when there are other seats available.
Noisy eaters.
Women who wear jewelry that clinks and clacks and makes noise when they're at their desk or keyboard.
Using speaker phones in public areas at work.
People with bad table manners.
People that snoop.
Drivers who won't turn right on red OR from a one way street onto another one way.
Double negatives.
Non hand-washers after using the bathroom.
Celebrities claiming to be environmentalists.
Tapping.
People who ride their bikes in the road when a sidewalk is right there.
People who don't send thank you notes.
People who don't cover their mouth while sneezing or coughing.
Jerks who take up 2 parking spaces.
Women who wear too much perfume.
People who don't know the difference between its/it’s, they’re/their/there and your/you’re.
People who leave shopping carts in the parking lot instead of taking them back to the corral.
The naming of celebrity couples (Bennifer, TomKat, etc.)
When people say 'supposebly' instead of 'supposedly'.
When people don't clear the microwave numbers.
When people don't RSVP to an invitation.
People who refer to themselves in the third person.
People that tailgate when you're driving.
People who don't look at you during a conversation.
People who put their feet up on the seat in front of them in movie theaters.
Athletes who point to the sky after scoring.
Bad breath.
Loud motorcycles.
People who spit on the ground and don't look first to see if anybody is around.
Men who refer to “babysitting” their own children.
Email with no subject in the subject line.
People who talk on their cell phone or text at the movies.
People who wear sunglasses indoors.

You might think that it must be pretty hard to know me. Well. I at least tell you when you are pissing me off. Ha.

Peyton a classless pouter?

I don't think so. Poor Peyton Manning has been getting berated for not shaking Drew Brees' hand at the end of the Super Bowl on Sunday. Sure, it would have been nice to see him embrace Brees and congratulate him. But probably 95% of NFL players walk off the field every week without bothering to shake hands.

The second after the gun sounds at the Super Bowl...tons of the player's family members, photographers, videographers, techy dudes, roadies, and flunkies swarm the field. I am guessing that Peyton didn't want any part of that scene...and I don't blame him....not one bit. And for obvious reasons, Peyton was in no mood to fraternize. Nobody works more or competes harder than Peyton. It's all for one reason...to win the Super Bowl... and he'd just seen that goal blow up in his face. Poor dude.

That doesn't make him a classless pouter. That makes him human.

Peyton trotted off the field...took a quick shower...put on a suit and headed to the press conference. He sat there for 11 minutes getting peppered with questions about why he and the Colts blew it.

It reminded me of a great Olympic moment...I remember hearing about... I've forgotten all the details, but a team from Greece or somewhere over there had just lost a bitter volleyball match. Some reporter from that guy's home country stuck a microphone in a player's face. "You are a disgrace to your country. Your comments?" The guy dutifully answered. I would have punched that reporter in the face and made him eat his microphone for lunch. Just sayin'.

Nobody quite said to Peyton, "You are disgrace to your city," but it was pretty-damn-close. He never got snippy. He patiently and politely answered every question, took responsibility for his mistakes and praised Saints cornerback Tracy Porter, whose interception will go down as his Bill Buckner moment. He's a better person than me because I might be pointing out that the interception should have also been pinned on receiver Reggie Wayne....who gave his route away and let Porter beat him to the ball. Again...I'm just sayin'. But before he disappeared, Peyton said he had one thing left to do.....he was going to call Brees and congratulate him.

I think Peyton Manning is a class act...and a much better person than me. I am way tooooo much of an ass after losing....they would do movies about my unsportsmanlike conduct. I'm just sayin'.

Crib Set

The baby girl's crib set arrived. Hooray! She will look pretty in pink!

People I could do without

I have been compiling a list of people that I would be thrilled if I never had to lay eyes on them again. I am in a sassy mood...so hold on.

In no particular order:
Gary Coleman
Tom Cruise
Lindsay Lohan
Paris Hilton
Perez Hilton
Carrot Top
P Diddy
Tim Tebow
Angelina Jolie
Kendra Wilson
Pam Anderson
Diana Ross
J. Lo
Kevin Federline
Brittney Spears
Kanye West
ANY of the Jacksons
Ashlee or Jessica Simpson
Donny and Marie Osmond
Vitamin Cottage lady in their tv commercials
Miley or Billy Ray Cyrus
Uncle Kracker
Rascal Flatts
Victoria Beckam
Suzi Orman
Levi (father of Sarah Palin's grandbaby)
Sarah Palin
Amy Winehouse
Paul Schaffer (David Letterman's band dude)
Spencer and Heidi
Real Housewifes of...pick one
Kathy Lee Gifford
Tara Reid
Lady Gaga
John and Kate Gosselin
Rosie O'Donnell
Chris Brown
Mariah Carey
Anyone on The View
Jake from "The Bachelor"
George W. Bush

That's probably good enough for today.

The kid next door

We grew up in the best neighborhood for kids. The street was laid out in a big circle, perfect for riding your bike round and round and round....I bet it was about 1/2 mile around. There were tons of kids on our block. And there was this super fun family with a rockin' pool down the street. We knew most every family on the block...in fact still to this day I can drive the old neighborhood and point to the house and know the family name. Next door to us lived this family with one boy. He was a shy boy who was pretty fat. We played with him once in a while...he was ok I guess. Now I was the kind of kid who hosted things like Pogo-Stick Tournaments for the neighborhood (no one is really shocked right?). I would have posters advertising the tournament and sign up sheets for kids to participate. Then I would create contest heats and judge the whole tournament which took place in the driveway of our house. Anyway. It was a fun neighborhood. Back to the fat kid next door. He "friended" me on facebook today. I had to laugh. I can't believe he wants to be my friend....but I accepted anyway. Here's the story. This one day he beat up my brother Bob. Not bad, but still. He was several years older than Bob and at that age years meant alot as far as size and strength. I was pissed off. I went over to his house, knocked on the door, invited his fat ass outside, and proceeded to beat the hell out of him. I spouted things in between punches like "NO ONE picks on MY brother and gets away with it". The bout gathered quite the crowd of neighborhood on-lookers. It was a scene. Needless-to-say I don't remember the fat kid next door ever coming out of his house to play with us ever again. Alas, this is why I am shocked he wants to be "friends" on facebook. Shrug. Oh well. Remember, no one picks on my brother and gets aways with it. :)

Crazy Craigslist

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Craigslist. We have bought and sold tons of stuff on Craigslist and I am a super fan. For example, we bought a side-by-side stainless steel fridge for $800 (the price for the same fridge at Home Depot was $2400). Nuff said. HOWEVER, I seem to attract some weirdos on Craigslist that I have to sift through everytime I use it. I have received text messages at 9:30 at night on a Monday saying they wanted to buy the item NOW, they have cash, I must meet them at 10 pm at ____ and ____. Ahem. Hell and no. As the night goes on the texts become more and more crazy. IGNORE. I get spammed pretty regularly with these get rich quick stuff or other random things. And then yesterday, I spend a good part of the day emailing back and forth with this woman who wants to buy my Treo Smartphone. Questions about the condition of the phone. Questions on the operating system in the phone. Questions. After all of this back and forth we agreed to meet today at the Aurora Mall food court by the Subway at 9:30 am so she could look at the phone and hopefully buy it. FINALLY. We only went back and forth with about 20 emails. I look up the Aurora Mall on line, figure out which entrance to go into for the fastest walk to the food court (I see they have a Cinnabon....yum yum) so I am ready to be rid of this phone. I am getting ready to leave this morning and she emails me that she spent part of the money she was going to use to buy the phone last night and wanted to know if I would take $40 instead of $65. Hell no bitch. *Sigh* So there are some crazy rude peeps on Craigslist...but I am not gonna stop using it. The real crap of the deal today....was that I realllly had my mouth set on gettin me some Cinnabon with my phone money. That makes me hate that girl even more.

Grocery store pedestrians

Somebody has got to explain to me why people think it's safe to walk into or out of a grocery store with absolutely no regard for the cars driving in the road in front of the store. Have you seen this? People are on their phones, pushing carts, wrangling kids or whatever with their heads down or looking straight ahead with NO awareness of the 4 tons of steel moving towards them. I know cars are supposed to yield to the people around the grocery store entrance. I KNOW THAT. But why are these grocery store pedestrians so trusting of the people behind the wheel? Drivers could be distracted or in a hurry and POW....dead grocery store pedestrian. Part II of this is what happened to the courtesy wave when a car yields for you to walk in front of their car? All is required is a little eye contact and a wave and everyone is safe...and the driver of the yielding car feels good....acknowledged for their "kindness". I'm just sayin'.

Chips

Hey. You. You know who you are. Ask yourself something. Were you there for me during my time of need? At my lowest time? Did you reach out to me to just let me know that you are there for me? C'mon really, were you there for me when the chips were down? Were you? If you were my true friend you wouldn't have to ask yourself those questions. If you let me down as a friend then why do you still read my blog? You don't deserve to know me through my blog...if you don't know me in life. You don't deserve to see how I am and what I am doing anymore. You should know the nasty things you said about me to your other "friends" would get back to me. They would tell me the things you said. You should know that. So as you take inventory of the people in your life, remember, the ones you think are your closest friends, really, aren't.

Save the Date

I love creative people. Check out the video on this page. It's the most creative Save the Date I have ever seen. Bravo. Bravo.

Name game

Todd and I have been playing the "name game" pretty much from the first day we found out we are having a baby. "What do you think of _____?" We found out that we knew a lot of whores and drunks in our years because every time one of us brings up a name ONE of us knew some dumb whore with that same name. Ha. Well then...cross THAT name off the list. Ha. Even after all of the name-crossing-off-the-list we have a list of 3 names that we both love. We won't name her until we meet her....but I certainly have my favorite name. Just last night we were playing the name game. Some guy on TV was talking about his sister who was the inspiration for all his successes, and her name was Jane. I said, "Jane, that's a pretty name." And Todd said, "Jane, you ignorant slut." (A la Saturday Night Live). Well. Cross it off the list then.

Pregnant

This is me at 27 weeks....so 3 weeks ago. BLISS!

Getting pregnant was really a heart breaking challenge. Looking back on it...makes my heart ache. The doctor visits. The constant blood draws. Black and blue arms. The waiting. The disappointment. The feeling of being "broken". The clomid meds that made me have night sweats and lose hours of sleep each night. The tears after starting my period AGAIN. Having to put a smile on my face and be the leader at work...when inside my heart was aching. The stress at work. The fact that my bosses rolled their eyes at me when I told them I had another doctor's appointment. (Keep in mind peeps, both of my (now former) bosses are WOMEN and MOTHERS). *Sigh*

Todd was my rock through all of this. It brought us closer together. He is the most amazing person I have ever known.

The light at the end of the lonely tunnel of infertility had many sources. FEBRUARY 2009: I started taking Clomid an infertility med that helps with ovulation. MARCH 2009: A dear friend suggested I start seeing an acupuncturist that her sister (now with 2 gorgeous kids) saw during her challenges with infertility. I LOVED my weekly sessions with the acupuncturist. It was so relaxing for me. APRIL 2009: I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. MAY 2009: The doctors found the right combination of meds to help treat my PCOS. JUNE 2009: We discovered my thyroid and TSH levels were wayyy out of whack. We got that leveled out and my TSH levels were back to normal. Between the PCOS and the Thyroid, I had 2 different doctors tell me it would take a miracle to get pregnant. I promptly changed doctors. Who needs that kind of negativity around? Sure as hell not me.

On Thursday July 23rd, my period was late. I was scared to get my hopes up....again. Todd and I hovered over the pg test. The test was defective. Sweet. Didn't give us a result. So on my way to work I swung into King Soopers to grab yet another box of tests. Those freaking tests are expensive. Sheesh. Anyway. I kept opening my drawer at work and looking at the tests in my purse. I decided to go ahead and pee on one to see what I would see. So in the 3rd stall on the left at my office I pee'd on the stick and waited. Positive. I shrieked. I floated back to my office with the positive test in my pocket. Later that night I paced the house waiting for Todd to come home. I wanted to tell him in person that we were going to have a baby. Like the dork that I am....I put a hamburger bun in the oven....and waited. He walked in the door. I laid the biggest kiss on that handsome devil and then pointed at the oven. "What is that?" I said. He looked and said, "Well, it's a bun. (Pause) It's a bun in the oven. (Pause) WE-HAVE-A-BUN-IN-THE-OVEN!!!!" Jubilance ensued and our lived changed forever that day....and lucky for us...will never be the same.

Hello again Hello

Hello again hello. (Insert the voice of Lionel Richie singing this ballet.) At least that is the way I hear it in my head.

I don't want to declare that I am back to blogging...however I will say that I am going to post today. We will see if I post again sooner than 6 months. No commitment.

I don't know where to start. So much has happened.

We are pregnant. Weeeee! I am 30 weeks (aka 7 1/2 months) and due April 4th. We are having a little girl and just over the MOON about it.

I lost my job. Those rat bastards at my former work. Rat-freaking-bastards.

We got the first shipment of the baby furniture yesterday. The armoire will be here in a few weeks. Check out the pic. The dog insisted on being in the picture. Sweet Barkley. We still need to buy the mattress and bedding...but this is a good start. I had a realllly hard time starting to create our baby room. I worried that we would create this gorgeous baby room....and something would happen to the baby. You may think I am crazy. Hell. I am crazy. But I am a realist. Things still could go horribly wrong. However, I am at the place where I think, "let go and let God." I am not a religious freak....but in this case....that saying just works for me.

Those are the big things.

I know...I am over the MJ coverage too...but...

I hear you....over it. But I saw these stats and was shocked...and then not shocked at all. Check out what a world wide hysteria Michael Jackson's death caused. These digital stats are nutty....saying that nearly 40 million people watched his memorial on line....gulp....40 million. Think about the people watched it live on tv...or tivo'ed it. Holy-freaking-crap.

CNN: 10.5 million live streams (second-highest ever—topped only by the Obama inauguration); 781,000 concurrent streams; 15.6 million unique visitors; Quite a bit of “citizen journalism” action as well: there were 646 Michael Jackson-related submissions to iReport, 31 of which CNN used on air or on CNN.com.

Msnbc.com: 19 million total streams (surpassed the record set during its online coverage of the 2009 inauguration); 510,000 concurrent streams; over 75,000 Michael Jackson-related tweets through its live feed/Tinker integration.

Yahoo: 5 million total streams (blowing away the 1.8 million streams during the Obama inauguration)—but fewer concurrent streams: 385,000 simultaneous streamers for Jackson’s memorial, compared to 430,000 for the inauguration.

ABC: 6 million live streams (across ABCnews.com and partner sites including Yahoo and Charter); over 500,000 hits to its mobile news site m.abcnews.com; 50,000 status updates through Facebook Connect.

FoxNews.com: 3.4 million total streams (compared to 5 million on Inauguration Day); over 676,800 concurrent streams.
E! Online: Around 87,000 streams through Facebook Connect; 939,000 unique visits and 6.9 million page views.

Wow.

Dinner

Want to know what stresses me out every-single-day? Freaking what to make for dinner. My beloved husband is a picky eater. Before we were married I used to just start cooking when I got home...whatever popped in my head first. Todd would eat it...and not say one word. But I would notice he didn't eat much...and would often have a bowl of cereal later. But now that we are married....it's somehow different. Now if I start cooking before he gets home without asking what he is in the mood for.... sweet my Todd will come home and say he wasn't in the mood for that and have cereal 9 times out of 10. Ha.

Now, please folks, please don't think that I am complaining or bitching about my huz....even though most of you are shaking your head and thinking.....Damn. Just cook and he can freaking eat cereal every night right? Hahah. I know that most husbands are just thrilled to have a hot meal and would eat cardboard if we put gravy on it. However, Todd does like what he likes. And I love him for it. And from what I can tell...what he wants for dinner depends on 2 elements. One, the weather, if it's hot as hell he wants something light for dinner. I guess that is reasonable right? And two, what he had for lunch that day. If he had a light lunch or an early lunch, he wants pasta or a casserole or something in the meat and potatoes department.

So picture our house around dinner time. I have reviewed the freezer and pantry and have come up with 3 options for dinner. He tells me the top 2 he wants and I pick the one I want from those 2 options. I just read what I typed and think I am crazy as a shit-house rat to do this...but we do things for the ones we love...right?

Man...I kinda feel like a bitch posting this....but this is a day in my life...and this shit stresses me out.

Even today

Even today when I see a picture of Scott Peterson, the man who murdered his beautiful wife and unborn son...I curl my lip in disgust. He makes me sick to my stomach. I just saw a story where his parents have exhausted all of their financial resources to fund his appeal cases and they are asking the general public to donate $5-$50 to his cause on some website. His family was quoted saying "many hands make light work." Really? Suck it. No way in the world would I donate to you. It pisses me off that he gets to play cards and basketball 5 hours a day. His son would be 6 years old now....I bet he would like to play for 5 hours a day with his mom. The fact that he spends the other 19 hours a day in a 4'x9' cell doesn't give me any solace either. Sorry. I just had to vent.

Katie...hope you like the changes...

....this blog is for you. :)

Bob and Rebecca's wedding

Whoa...I can't believe I haven't posted about their wedding. What-a-freaking-blast! The Redstone Inn rocks. It's so beautiful there. The drive to Redstone was equally as fab. Redstone Colorado was a huge mining town back in the day. The Redstone Inn was formally housing for the single miners before it was converted to an Inn/Resort. The miners with family lived in the houses on the one road that runs through town. The whole weekend was wonderful. My brother looked so handsome. Rebecca looked like a princess. It was cool. Bob was so freaking nervous...it was sweet. For their first dance they did a choreographed fox trot to Madonna's song "Music". I could NOT believe it....even though I knew they were gonna do it. Totally outside of Bob's comfort zone...which is what made it even cooler. The party continued into the wee hours of the morning and people ended up in the pool in their bras and undies (er...not me....come on peeps). Blast! They get home from over a week in Hawaii today. Aloha newlyweds. xoxo

Hysterosalpingogram

Hysterosalpingogram. What a big word. Say that word 10 times fast. Ha. It's the test that I had yesterday. You learn these kinds of words when you are having trouble getting pregnant. Test after test after test. Overall the test...not horrible. Took about 15 minutes once I was in there and undressed. The parts I didn't like....The whole checking into the outpatient area of the hospital. Freaky. The cold table. The nurse who stood over me and kept asking me if I was ok. I just wanted to close my eyes and sing the "meow meow" song...and imagine myself in Hawaii. She wanted to make sure I hadn't fainted (or as she told me afterwards) Oh...and I hated the large piece of XRay equipment that made me feel trapped and claustrophobic. Those were the only bad things. I didn't have the intense cramping I was warned about. Phew. I took the whole day off. It was a good mental health day for me. Good news. The doctor told me that my fallopian tubes are open and everything looked good.

Todd came home last night and brought in the mail. I had 12 pieces of mail for me. Of those 12....9 were invoices for my tons of tests and doctor visits. I needed a glass of wine to open all of them. I spent 30 minutes today on the phone with the testing lab contesting charge. Ahhh good times. But I did get her to take the charge off. Victory for me.

As I layed on the cold table....my head wandered. At what point do we start talking about adoption? *Sigh*

Michael Jackson Dies at 50

At around 3 pm today at the radio station...we heard early reports that Michael Jackson had died. I felt sick. Poor tortured soul....MJ. I just read last week that he had sold out 50 concert nights in Europe and that he had been rehearsing in LA for his come-back tour for the past 2 months. Think about...he was such a recluse for so many years...and Michael was going to do a comeback tour. *Sigh* Maybe he wasn't as excited as we were about a come-back. Who knows.
When we got the confirmation that he had passed....I was very sad. And I thought about Farrah Fawcett and the fact that she passed away earlier today...and now won't get her night in the news. Poor MJ...I wish you had a chance for your come-back. Regardless of some of the less than popular behavior...you were a rock icon...and I salute your work. RIP MJ.

The Break Up

Dear Dave Matthews,
It's over. I am sorry to say it...but...we have to break up. I know we have been together since the beginning even before you were huge....selling out 80,000 seat venues. Sorry...but it's over. I tried to hard to make it work. I have seen every concert in Colorado since 1994. I have purchased every album and most of your concert DVDs...I even have 2 books about you. And yet, for the 3rd summer in a row, you have not included Colorado on your tour schedule. I feel jilted. I feel jipped. There is a radio station here in Colorado who was one of the first radio stations EVER to play your music...and yet...you don't come see us. Five years ago you left us off your tour schedule too and a friend and I drove to Albuquerque New Mexico. Really? Albuquerque and no Colorado. Fire your tour director. I digress. Back to us. *Sigh* It's over. I am not even going to go buy your new album...even though I have heard it's good.
Signed,
Your ex, Emily

Dress Barn

Seriously? Why would a company call their women's clothing store the Dress Barn? Really? What message does that send? "Hi, we are the Dress Barn, you have to be as big as a bard-yard animal to shop here." or "Hi, we are the Dress Barn, you will look like you live in a barn in our clothes." Honestly the-worst-name. I *swore* I would never ever ever never shop there.

Cut to this week. I was at David's Bridal looking for a dress for Bob's wedding this weekend. (Last year, when I was shopping with Erin J for our wedding dresses....we went there to discover that David's Bridal has a great selection of party dresses off the rack.) I digress. So I started there. Swing and a miss. Right next door is the dreaded Dress Barn....no other clothing stores around and I am on a time crunch. I have put off buying the dress until the week of the wedding...and gave myself 1 hour to find one during my busy work schedule. I found a pretty dress...and no I don't look like I live in a barn...I hope ;)

Other people's problems - OPP

I have started reading blogs by other women...women I don't know...who have PCOS too. This is one Em P forwarded to me that she reads. I feel comfort from realizing that I am not alone...while reading about other people's problems. And sometimes...I get scared and sad that I will never get pregnant.

*Sigh*

I have faith.

Bob's wedding

I am so excited for Bob and Rebecca's wedding in 2 weeks. How freaking fun. Rebecca has the best family...they are so cool and fun. I will post pics! The wedding is at Redstone Lodge in Carbondale. Road trip! Good times!

Best regards from Norway

I get emails from all over the world from people whose hobby involves them trying to listen to AM radio stations from all over the world. They find me on our station website as a contact. I am fascinated by these people. I listen to their recordings and can't believe they can hear our radio station on the other side of the world when there are people in the Denver metro who can't hear our little AM station. Ha. I get how it works and understand how an AM signal travels...I just think it's cool. Here's a note I got today.

***********

Hello,
I got your e-mail address from Norwegian DX-er Ole Forr, who had written to you regarding the reception of KEZW Radio on 1430 AM here in Europe.

Just like Ole, I have also been able to receive KEZW on 1430 AM at my place. At my place, KEZW is a very rare catch. I can receive a number of AM stations from the USA and Canada, but usually only stations from the East coast only (from Newfoundland down to Florida). Hearing stations located further inland is not common, and hearing stations as far west as the Rockies is exceptional! You are the very first station I have ever been able to receive from Colorado, so your AM transmitter must be doing really well!

So far I have only been able to pick up your signals on the AM band only on one occasion. On January 13, 2007, I could receive KEZW for about an hour or so in the morning my local time, or in the middle of the night your local time there in Colorado. I am enclosing an audio file with a 50 second long recording of KEZW as received here in Norway this winter morning, at 2.16 a.m. Mountain Time. On this recording, there is a pretty clear (bearing in mind the distance) station identification for “Studio 1430”. Would it be possible for you to listen in to this recording and confirm that I was able to pick up the signal of KEZW here in Norway?
The radio equipment used when receiving your signal was a SDR-IQ communications receiver and an antenna wire which was nearly 800 metres long. Using such a long antenna is a big advantage when it comes to receiving long distance radio signals on AM, but the antenna sure takes a lot of space. .

I am 40 years old and have been listening to foreign radio stations on short- and mediumwave since I was a kid. Now my main interest lies in catching weak signals from radio stations on mediumwave and on the tropical bands on shortwave. Even in the times of the Internet and satellite TV and radio, it is still interesting to see how far away a signal from a radio station with limited power such as KEZW can reach and which radio stations it is possible to hear here in Norway.

My radio hobby is a hobby for the long Scandinavian fall and winter nights. Apart from this hobby, I am also into computing, sports and nature. I am also very fond of travelling as I am very interested in foreign countries and in foreign cultures. I am living in the small town of Lunde in Southern Norway (2 hours by train south west of the capital Oslo) where I am working at the local college in my region - Telemark University College.
I would appreciate very much if you verified that I heard your station. It would be very nice to receive a verification letter, card or an e-mail from you, simply saying that I really heard your station. I am collecting such verifications from the radio stations which I am able to hear at my place.

Well, I hope you enjoy hearing that the signals of KEZW can sometimes reach as far away as Norway on 1430 AM too. It should imply that your AM transmitter is doing quite well!
Thanks a lot for your help and hope to hear from you again soon.

Best regards from Norway, Arild

Eastern medicine

My friend Em P told me that her sister Meg went to an acupuncturist that specialized in infertility and gave me his name. She also suggested I reach out to Meg and tell her my story. Meg also had fertility issues (Note: HAD fertility issues...she has one daughter and is pregnant with her 2nd...and due any minute) :-) That was the best advice I could have ever gotten. Meghan was a light in the dark for me. She understood the isolation we feel when we are having trouble getting pregnant. She said that there was a medical study done on depression...with woman who are terminally ill and woman who are experiencing infertility and the woman with infertility issues were MORE depressed that the women with a terminal illness. Sigh. So Todd and I went and saw the acupuncturist 2 weeks ago. A-maz-ing. I ovulated the NEXT day. What the? I had never had a positive ovulation kit. I have seen him 2 more times in the last 2 weeks. I had a 28 day cycle this month. This is a step in the right direction. Ovulation and a regular period in 2 weeks. I am ALL IN. I feel better. I have a good outlook. This is good stuff.

On a side note, my mom told me yesterday that she had 4 periods a year her whole life. The same 4 months every year. Now she has 3 kids....so if she can do it....so can I. PCOS is genetic too...so maybe my mom had it too. She had a hysterectomy years ago...so we will never know. My mom's sister was told she could never have kids...she had a son.

Todd has been on a fishing trip with the boys for a week...he is due home any minute. I-CAN'T-FREAKING-WAIT to see him.

Searching

When I was diagnosed with PCOS I started searching for information, support and treatment options. I know that PCOS is not curable....but treatable. I found this great newsletter that has some useful information. Here is the latest newsletter.

Me Part Deux

About 2 months ago my doctor called me to check in. It was 9:30 at night and I was exhausted and had drank a glass of wine and was working on my second. The second I heard her voice I burst into tears. I had started my period that day and was at a loss. (Sidebar: For those of you who don't know me....I don't cry about stuff for me. I cry at movies and good Hallmark commercials...but that is it) Anyway. She was talking me off the ledge and I said, "I know, I know, I get all of that. But to add insult to injury I have gained a bunch of weight with NO change in lifestyle. I just don't get it." Silence on the other end. "You have gained weight?" (Note, when she met me I had already packed on the extra pounds...) She asked me to come in the next morning for a few more tests. She told me at the appointment she suspected that I may have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. There were 3 tests I had to take to see if I have PCOS. Long story shorter...I was diagnosed with PCOS. At least I had an answer to the changes in my body and why we have had trouble getting pregnant.

Treatment. I started taking Medformin. I lost 7 pounds right out of the gate and started feeling better within days. Success. A step in the right direction.

Moving on...I also have issues with my thyroid. My family history includes thyroid cancer in my mom, both grandmothers, my uncle, my aunt and one great grandmother. Wow huh? I went to go see an endocrinologist. Your thyroid can also cause problems getting pregnant. I wanted to see if this could be an issue too. Oh...and your thyroid can make you gain weight too. Sweet! So I sat in her office and listened to her rattle off stats about how hard it will be for me to get pregnant and how hard it will be for us to have a successful pregnancy. She was rattling off stat after stat...and I could feel my face getting hot and the tears starting to fill up my eyes....until they spilled over my eye lids and the water works were unstoppable. I was hysterical. When I got home I was telling Todd about my experience there...which I am sure only dogs and dolphins could understand my squawking. He carried me to the couch and brought me tissues and a blanket. He had NO idea how to help me stop crying...he just held me. He wanted to call that doctor and bitch her out. Sweet Todd. I have this theory on doctors.....1/2 of all doctors graduated in the bottom 1/2 of their class....she was surely an idiot with no bedside manor.

I am now fed up with western medicine and desperate for a new approach.

Me

I have been writing posts for my blog and not posting them. Last week I deleted all the posts when I was feeling extra down. *Sigh* Until now I wasn't ready to tell the world (or the 3 people who read my blog) that I feel broken. Useless. Depressed.

We have been trying to get pregnant since our honeymoon and have....had...challenges. When we were first starting to try...I was so "whatever" about it. I shrugged off all of the "techniques" my friends shared and said I was never going to be that girl who stresses about getting pregnant. That lasted oh...let's say 3 months. After 3 months, I was like WTF? Why is this so hard? Seriously I see 10, pregnant 15 year olds everytime I go to the mall...can't-be-that-tough. In fact, when we started trying I told a friend of mine that if we got pregnant that month that the baby would be born in ___ month. That friend laughed at me and said, you know, many woman "your age" have trouble getting pregnant. I was kinda pissed but thought...well...not ME. I am usually GOOD at stuff I want and try hard enough to succeed at. No worries here. I-am-a-rock-star.

So after a few months, I started taking ovulation tests...never got a positive. I heard from a few friends who had kids that they never worked for them either. Shrug. I have spent a small fortune on those tests....and still never a positive. Ok. My cycles were 26 day, 42 days, 36 days, 47 days, 30 days...all over the board. I decided to find a fertility specialist. I started seeing her in September. Oh nelly...I had test after test after test. My poor arms were black and blue from blood draws. Is this the way to get pregnant?

So we keep trying. I get my hopes up each month...only to be crushed when my period comes. I have actually started playing head games with myself. One day I feel tired and think..."I just must be pregnant...I feel pregnant...must be!" And then I wasn't.... month after month....test after test. This makes me feel broken. Like 1/2 a woman. I feel bad for Todd. I know how badly he wants to be a dad...why can't I do this for him? For us? There must be a better way.

Can You Dig It?

So this past weekend Todd and I were working in the yard. It was 70 degrees in the middle of March...gorgeous. I am digging up the rock garden and getting it ready for us to plant later. I freaking dug up 3 freaking Tiger Salamanders. Yes I did! I am a native. I have never seen or heard of these things living in the wild in Colorado. So I pick up the phone and call our local reptile store and lo and behold Tiger Salamanders are native to Colorado. These little buggers were about 4 inches long, black bodies with greenish/yellow spots on them. They apparently grow to be nearly a foot long. They mostly come out at night and when it rains. Seriously? Can you believe it? The guy at the reptile store told me that if we brought them to him he would give us a couple bucks each - he would sell them as pets. He also told us how to build a new nest for them....so we did.

Attention Jay Cutler

Attention Jay Cutler. Ahem. Attention Jay Cutler. Listen to a caring Broncos fan. I know you are pissed. I know that our new coach did not handle this situation the best. I know you did not handle this situation the best. I know you got your feelings hurt. But my friend, you are acting like a pouty little girl by putting your house up on the market and threatening to not show up to training camp tomorrow. This is a business and you need to understand that everyone can be replaced. You should show up and be a leader. I want to see you in a Broncos uniform for many years to come. If you don't show up, then, see ya later sweetheart. I hope you get traded to someone we play so we can wipe that smart ass smile off your face.

Facebook

Hello. My name is Emily and I am a Facebook-aholic. I love Facebook. I don't like the applications and quizzes and crap...I just like checking out pictures and status updates. Maybe I would be better served by just doing "Twitter". Anyway. I was thinking the other night that Facebook is simply on-line voyeurism. I have opened this portal to everyone who I have met over my 36 years on this planet to see what I am doing, pictures of what I am doing and what I am thinking. I guess this all started when an ex-boyfriend of mine posted a comment on one of my pictures. Things with this ex ended nasty including a law suit...but we got over it and moved on. I felt like saying...."what business it of yours?" I know. I know. I could just block him or not of allowed me to be a "friend" but that is not the point. I starting thinking, that he lost his chance/privilage to know how I am when he broke my heart....right? Facebook opens a door to your private life....and I guess we all have to see if what is on the other side of the door is something we want to share with the world. I posed this question the other night at happy hour with Erin and Emily P. And....Em P had a great point. She said, why wouldn't I want people to see how I am doing? I have a great life. A great husband. And I couldn't be happier. Good point Em. Cheers!

Wow...I just realized....

....that I didn't blog at all in February. It's been 2 months since I blogged. Bad.

Famous Last Words

For about 3 weeks now, a pipe in our master bath shower rings this annoying loud shrill noise when we have the water on. Annoying. I have been saying, "you think we should call a plumber?" Todd says, "oh no, I can fix it." Famous last words. On Friday morning I say, "I want to call a plumber to come out next week." Todd says, "I will fix it this weekend." Ok. Sunday afternoon at 2 pm Todd starts tearing apart the shower. I say, "babe, want me to just call a plumber?" Silence. I hear banging. I hear drilling. I hear cussing. After a couple trips to Home Depot and back Todd believes he has figured out the piece he needs....but needs to get it at an Ace Hardware. It's 4:50 pm. They close at 5 pm. So we have no running water. Thank God we have a 2nd shower. I won't beat him up for this one....he's taking care of that himself.

Historic Day

I knew I wanted to post on this historic day....to try to capture the moment. Not really an easy task on a simple blog. I think the best way for me to express the sights and sounds of the inauguration of such a great man is by posting my friend's status updates on Facebook. I will use initials to protect the innocent :)

DM is thankful.

HT is giving the Mile High Salute to the 44th Commander in Chief.

EP is positive the day couldn't be any better. 70 degrees and Obama is President. Life is good.

RK feels a sense of calm and happiness today. Hope has been brought back.

LL is happy that she could watch Barack Obama at school today. What an historic event.

MB is thankful for the new President and hopeful for the future of our country.

JF is quoting Barack "On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord."

IM says goodbye to evil, incomptetence, ignorance, racism, greed, corruption and stupidity and happily says hello to hope and change.

MS is ready

MG says brothers and sisters this is a great day. Hope over fear will win everytime. God bless Amercia.

TV is so happy to say I'm SO proud to be an American.

CA is listening to the new Prez.

LM is ready (2nd time for that one)

BT is very excited.

DF has Obama fever.

KP says "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."- Barack Obama.

SB is starting to get choked up already! :).

SW inagurates.

KL is excited for my niece, Kyla,(18) who is in D.C right now, what a great memory for her!

CR is excited about today's events!

EP is breathless with excitement.

MG is happy! We are finally getting a leader!!!!!

HR is proud to see this day.

SM can't wait to watch the inauguration - so excited and so proud!

DP is talking to NBC White House Correspondent Tom Costello, he's on the steps of the White House!! Amazing day!

LM is wondering what famous inspirational words will come from Barack Obama's speech today!

Vacation

My parents gave me and Todd a 3-day 2 night all inclusive vacation to Peaceful Valley Ranch in Lyons Colorado. They provide 3 meals a day...they will even pack you a picnic lunch if you wanted to go on a hike or snowmobile all day. Snowmobiling and snow shoeing is all inclusive in the winter months....and horseback riding and hay rack rides are included in the spring and summer months. Plus...the fishing is gold medal waters. How cool is that? Now we just have to figure out when we want to go. All of the private cabins have hot tubs and are super romantic. We think my parents are pushing for grand babies....don't you?

Ahhh a day off

My office is closed for MLK day. Can you say 3 day weekend? Some sweet Emily time today. Poor Todd has to work. Think I will eat cold pizza, watch Price is Right and blog....and maybe later get a massage. Sounds like a great day to me!!

Last night Todd and I were talking about what an historic week this week is. Today is Martin Luther King day....and tomorrow....our country will swear in the first African American President. I was in awe watching the coverage of the concerts held at the Lincoln Memorial over the weekend. Hundreds of thousands of people showed up to witness this amazing and historic event. As I scanned the faces in the crowd I saw young and old, white and black, all socioeconomic groups....it was a-maz-ing. I hope the rest of the world is watching the United States of America rally behind our new leader and the leader of the Free World....regardless of who they voted for....we are united once again. Makes me proud to be an American.

As a total side note, some lady in a ridiculous shirt just won a car on Price is Right. I met Drew Carey once. I was working in radio and we did a broadcast from the grand opening of the new Disney California Adventure. I was standing in the amusement park right on the ocean watching the Beach Boys on stage with John Stamos on the drums....with a lobster tail on a stick in one hand and a beer in the other hand....hell yes I was eating lobster on a stick...and it was dripping with butter. Anyway....I turn and look at a guy standing next to me also enjoying a lobster on a stick and had a beer in the other hand and said, "Seriously, does it get ANY better than this?" And he smiled at me and said, "I don't think it could, I mean c'mon lobster on a stick? Beer?" We both laughed. I turned back to him and said, "You're Drew Carey." And he said yes. I said, "I didn't recognize you without your glasses on." And he replied, "I got lasik so I only wear my glasses on stage, on tv...you know." We went on talking about how cool lasik surgery was for both of us and parted ways.

Man....I have a lot of things going through my head right now.

Broncos Blues

Last night Todd sarcastically shouted from the kitchen, "Hey Em, when is the Bronco's playoff game this weekend?" Humpf. I have Broncos blues. My beloved Broncos are not in the playoffs again this year AND Mike Shannahan got fired. I have mixed feelings about his firing. After watching the press conference on Wednesday morning, I had this lump in my gut. Mike sure acted like a total professional. I was so impressed....and sad. When Mike said he didn't get the job done and that is why he was fired...my heart broke. Dang. No boo hoo. No pointing the finger. He OWNED it. Wow. I sure wish we had won that San Diego game. But things happen for a reason. Maybe it was time for a change. I thought about Mike and his family in New Years Eve....wondering if they were able to celebrate. Broncos blues suck. Kinda like the Broncos last 3 seasons.

This week

This week has been so WEIRD. Todd has been on vacation since 12/23. I worked Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday (NYE) and today (Friday). I feel like I had 2 Mondays and 2 Fridays. Today I was talking about one of our programs on the radio station that airs on Saturdays....and thought today was Monday. WEIRD. Yawn....need some coffee.

For the record......

I did get raked in in the eye by the visiting kitty. Can you say bloody and black eye? Sweet. Missed my eyeball by centimeters. Todd was right. Sent kitty to glue factory....in my dreams.

Spoiled

Todd spoiled me again this year for Christmas. He hired a painter to paint a picture of a Calla Lily. The name of the painting is "Emily's Lily". Calla Lily was our wedding flower. Todd told me that the artist would email his pictures each day she worked on the piece with updates. How cool is that? Sometimes Todd does things for me that I just shake my head and thank the heavens above that we found each other. Makes me kinda tear up just thinking about it. He also bought me a gorgeous necklace and earring set and a TON of cool fishing lures and bait. What a great array of cool gifts. He rocks.

Franklin's Visit

We are watching Todd's sister's kitty Franklin for a week while they are in Mexico. Sasha (our cat) is not pleased but being tolerant of the 5 month old kitten. Franklin earned a new name his first day here.....Diablo the Devil. We had him set up in our room. Todd was in the bedroom watching tv and Diablo came out from under the bed and attacked Todd hissing and swinging his paws at him. I heard a scuffle upstairs. Todd came downstairs saying, "that little f-er is going in the kennel. I am not letting him rake my eyes or your eyes out." I chuckled a little. He went to the garage and pulled down the large 5 foot by 5 foot cage that Barkley used to live in when Todd was away. We made Franklin a safe place to be....and the animals in our house all got to know each other that way. Every time we got close to Diablo he would hiss. Sweet. But this morning I opened the cage and Franklin decided he wanted to be a productive part of our family. No hissing. Just playing. Bliss. He still goes into the cage when he needs alone time. No hiss... bliss....and making himself right at home. PS....that is Barkley's water that Franklin is drinking out of.

Special Agent Bob

My bro graduated from I.C.E. Training (Imigration Customs Enforcment) on Thursday. He is officially a Special Agent. Wowsa. I saw his badge. He now can carry a firearm on a plane. He just flew back to Denver on Friday. He told me that now when he flies on duty that he checks in a different place and he boards the plane before the other people. He meets with the Captain and the staff. One of the captains that he met with before the flight told him that the door to the cock pit is bullet proof, so if something goes down and Bob chooses to react, that the pilot will not be opening the door to help him. Yikes. Anyway. I am so proud of Bob. Bob and Rebecca are moving to Salt Lake City for Bob's first job. They leave today. I will miss you guys! Love you!

Star Sighting in Vegas

We saw Cameron Diaz in Vegas. Cool!

Vegas

Vegas was a blast. We left on Thanksgiving day and got back a week ago today. We had purchased tickets to Criss Angel's Cirque du Soleil show called BeLIEve. I love Criss Angel's Mind Freak...so cool. We get in the cab from the airport to the Mirage and the cab drivers asks us if we are planning on seeing any shows during our visit. We tell him that we are going to see the Criss Angel show. Silence. Then he says, "Did you already buy your tickets?" We had. He starts telling us how it's the worst show Vegas has ever had. Gulp. I could picture Todd and I running around ripping up money....since this show (that wasn't cheap) was a total disaster. We get out of the cab and I start reassuring Todd that I am sure the show is good that I bet that cab driver is just a bitter crazy. So. We are checking in at the Mirage and we ask the girl at the front desk about the show. Same response. Sweet. Again insert that picture of us ripping up money for fun. Long story short the gal at the front desk got us a refund on our tickets....and helped us buy tickets to the Cirque du Soleil show "O".... "O" is short for the French word for water L'eau. Can you say 8th row....dead center??? The tickets were so good that when one of the performers swung over our heads a drop of water hit my face. A-MAZ-ING!

Poison

Remember that sweet yet musky perfume from the 80's called Poison? Gross right? I admit I did wear Poison for one year in junior high school. I will will own that. OK. There is a lady in my office that freaking BATHES in that perfume. Seriously. It's so bad that I had to be in the same room with her for 2 hours on Friday that I got so sick being within in 10 feet of her that my throat STILL hurts today. I could taste her perfume in my mouth until later on Friday night. Sick. Flipping. Sick.

I had to laugh when this weekend I heard a promo on one of our radio stations for a topic for the morning show.....that people have sued co-workers for wearing too much perfume or not bathing. I cracked up.

That girl is poison.....(Remember that song from Bel Biv Devo?)